1. D'Copy !req
2. Zounds! I did thee
mightily smitely.Copy !req
3. "Zounds" is
a Renaissance English wordCopy !req
4. short for "God's wounds."Copy !req
5. But "Smitely,"
that's pure Flanders.Copy !req
6. Please call a doctor.Copy !req
7. These Renaissance Faires
are so boring.Copy !req
8. Really?Copy !req
9. Did you see the loom?Copy !req
10. I took loom in high school.Copy !req
11. Meh.Copy !req
12. Yon meat 'tis sweet
as summer's wafting breeze.Copy !req
13. Can I have some?Copy !req
14. Mine ears are open
only to the pleasCopy !req
15. of those who speak
ye olde English.Copy !req
16. Sweet maiden of the spitCopy !req
17. grant now my boon,
that I might supCopy !req
18. upon suckling pig this noon.Copy !req
19. Whatever.Copy !req
20. I've eaten
eight different meats.Copy !req
21. I'm a true Renaissance man.Copy !req
22. I'll go to the first aid tentCopy !req
23. and tell them to plug in
ye olde stomach pump.Copy !req
24. Alight your gazeCopy !req
25. on yonder fabled beasts of yore.Copy !req
26. Behold the rarest of the rare,Copy !req
27. the mythological
two-headed houndCopy !req
28. born with only one head.Copy !req
29. Ooh. And hereCopy !req
30. out of the mists of history,Copy !req
31. the legendary esquilax...Copy !req
32. A horse with the head
of a rabbitCopy !req
33. and the body of a rabbit.Copy !req
34. It's galloping away.Copy !req
35. Here, bunny, bunny.
Here, bunny.Copy !req
36. Here, esquilax.Copy !req
37. I've been waiting for you, Lisa.Copy !req
38. How did you know my name?Copy !req
39. Your name tag.Copy !req
40. Would you like to
know your future?Copy !req
41. Sorry, I don't believe
in fortune telling.Copy !req
42. I should go.Copy !req
43. What's your hurry?Copy !req
44. Bart, Maggie and Marge
are at the joustCopy !req
45. and Homer is heckling
the puppet show.Copy !req
46. Wow. You can see
into the... present.Copy !req
47. Now we'll see what
the future holds.Copy !req
48. The death card?Copy !req
49. No, that's good.Copy !req
50. It means transition, change.Copy !req
51. That's cute.Copy !req
52. The happy squirrel!Copy !req
53. That's bad?Copy !req
54. Possibly.Copy !req
55. The cards are vague
and mysterious.Copy !req
56. They seem to be revealingCopy !req
57. the story of your first love.Copy !req
58. Do you want me to continue?Copy !req
59. Guess so.Copy !req
60. It's... It's coming to me.Copy !req
61. Yes, I see an eastern university
in the year 2010.Copy !req
62. The world has become
a very different place.Copy !req
63. I can't wait to see that play.Copy !req
64. - Hey, watch it.
- Watch it.Copy !req
65. That man is instantlyCopy !req
66. the most annoying person
I've ever met.Copy !req
67. A soy-based snack
will calm me down.Copy !req
68. Him again!Copy !req
69. Hello. I need "Ecosystem
of the Marsh" by Thompson.Copy !req
70. The last copy was just
signed out by, um...Copy !req
71. Hugh Parkfield.Copy !req
72. There he is.Copy !req
73. No!Copy !req
74. It couldn't be.Copy !req
75. Thanks for holding my book
while I tied my shoe.Copy !req
76. D'Copy !req
77. That's the book I need.Copy !req
78. You'll probably take
forever with it too.Copy !req
79. I can read faster than you.Copy !req
80. I read at a 78th grade level.Copy !req
81. Right here.Copy !req
82. - Finish this page?
- Ages ago.Copy !req
83. - I'll get a dictionary.
- Why?Copy !req
84. You'll see when you get there.
The word "stochastic."Copy !req
85. "Pertaining to a processCopy !req
86. "involving a randomly determinedCopy !req
87. sequence of
observations."Copy !req
88. First they hate each other,Copy !req
89. now, all of a sudden,
they love each other.Copy !req
90. It doesn't make any sense to me.Copy !req
91. Of course not.
You're a robot.Copy !req
92. I've never met anyone
who so understoodCopy !req
93. the magic of Jim Carrey.Copy !req
94. He can make you laughCopy !req
95. with no more than frantic
flailing of his limbs.Copy !req
96. I can't believeCopy !req
97. how much we have in common.Copy !req
98. We're both studying
the environment,Copy !req
99. we're both utterly humorless
about our vegetarianismCopy !req
100. and we both love
The Rolling Stones.Copy !req
101. Yes, not for their music,
but for their tireless effortsCopy !req
102. to preserve historic buildings.Copy !req
103. Lisa, I can't bear the thoughtCopy !req
104. of being apart from you
all summer.Copy !req
105. Come back with me
to Parkfield Manor.Copy !req
106. I'd love to.Copy !req
107. Can we get vegetarian meals
at your parent's house?Copy !req
108. Yes, we can, Lisa.Copy !req
109. That is good because
eating animals is wrong.Copy !req
110. So very wrong.Copy !req
111. When will the world learn?Copy !req
112. I don't know.Copy !req
113. I just don't know.Copy !req
114. I love these new planes.Copy !req
115. Yes, it's a good thing
they reevaluatedCopy !req
116. those wacky old designs.Copy !req
117. Beautiful dinnerware,
Mrs. Parkfield.Copy !req
118. Thank you, Lisa.
They were madeCopy !req
119. for the finest
family in Britain.Copy !req
120. I don't know
how we ended up with them.Copy !req
121. Should I laugh?Copy !req
122. Was that dry British wit,
or subtle self-pity?Copy !req
123. They're staring at me.
Better respond.Copy !req
124. It's good to hear
a boisterous American laugh.Copy !req
125. And I love that painting.Copy !req
126. Judging by the clothes,
I'd say 17th century.Copy !req
127. Actually, Lisa,
it's just Uncle Eldred.Copy !req
128. I get me brain medicines
from the National Health.Copy !req
129. This place
is so enchanting, Hugh.Copy !req
130. I love it here.Copy !req
131. I wanted this
to be perfect for you.Copy !req
132. I know you Americans
like everything to be...Copy !req
133. fireworks.Copy !req
134. Blast!Copy !req
135. Go to plan B.Copy !req
136. Yes, I will.Copy !req
137. Isn't it wonderful?Copy !req
138. Master Hugh
has found a true love.Copy !req
139. Hi, Mom.Copy !req
140. Lisa, hello.Copy !req
141. How are you doing in England?Copy !req
142. Remember, an elevator
is called a "lift,"Copy !req
143. a mile is called a "kilometer,"Copy !req
144. and botulism is called
"steak and kidney pie."Copy !req
145. Guess what?
Hugh and I are getting married.Copy !req
146. All right!Copy !req
147. Lisa, that's wonderful.Copy !req
148. If only your father
was still with us...Copy !req
149. but he left for work
a few minutes ago.Copy !req
150. Mom, remember when I was littleCopy !req
151. we'd always plan
my dream weddingCopy !req
152. and you always promised to...
you know, well...Copy !req
153. keep Dad from ruining it?Copy !req
154. Don't worry, honey.Copy !req
155. I guarantee
your father will behave.Copy !req
156. Mom, it's a picture phone.Copy !req
157. This? This?Copy !req
158. No, I've just got
a touch of the rheumatiz.Copy !req
159. Mom, picture phone.Copy !req
160. Hi, Mom.
That's great news about Lisa.Copy !req
161. Well, listen,
I better get back to work.Copy !req
162. They're finally
paying me for this.Copy !req
163. Yeah!Copy !req
164. Yes, but the international
market is my focus.Copy !req
165. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
166. Marge, that's great news!Copy !req
167. Hey, hey, there with
the personal calls, Simpson.Copy !req
168. But Mr. MilhouseCopy !req
169. my little girl's
getting married.Copy !req
170. Lisa?Copy !req
171. My one true love.Copy !req
172. It's not you, Milhouse.Copy !req
173. I just don't plan
to ever get married.Copy !req
174. I think I'll write your
performance evaluation now,Copy !req
175. Simpson.Copy !req
176. I got to call everyoneCopy !req
177. and tell them the good news.Copy !req
178. Maggie! I need to use the phone!Copy !req
179. Will that girl ever shut up?Copy !req
180. Okay, Marge,
I'll plan everything.Copy !req
181. We can have
the reception at Moe's.Copy !req
182. Wait! Why not have
the whole wedding there?Copy !req
183. We'll do it
on a Monday morning...Copy !req
184. There'll be fewer drunks.Copy !req
185. Homer, don't take
this personallyCopy !req
186. but I've obtained a court orderCopy !req
187. to prevent you from
planning this wedding.Copy !req
188. Well, these seem to be in order.Copy !req
189. I'll be out back in the hammock.Copy !req
190. "Mr. Smithers plus guest."Copy !req
191. There's only one person
I would want to bring.Copy !req
192. Mr. Burns,
we'll thaw you outCopy !req
193. the second they
discover the cureCopy !req
194. for 17 stab wounds in the back.Copy !req
195. How we doing, boys?Copy !req
196. Well, we're up to 15.Copy !req
197. Now turn to the next problem.Copy !req
198. If you have three Pepsis
and drink oneCopy !req
199. how much more refreshed are you?Copy !req
200. You, the redhead in
the Chicago school system?Copy !req
201. Pepsi?Copy !req
202. Partial credit.Copy !req
203. We've been invited
to the weddingCopy !req
204. of our only graduate to
read at an adult level.Copy !req
205. It must be Lisa Simpson.
Because, of course,Copy !req
206. Martin Prince perished
in that science fair explosion.Copy !req
207. Not quite perished,
my lady love.Copy !req
208. Although some days,
I wish I had.Copy !req
209. Hey, I remember you.
Mayor Quimby, right?Copy !req
210. No. Look at this license...
Mohamed Jafar.Copy !req
211. Quimby, after this fareCopy !req
212. get your indicted ass out to
the convention center.Copy !req
213. I cut the ribbon
at that convention center.Copy !req
214. Just a couple more blocks
to my house.Copy !req
215. Lisa, darling, don't worry.Copy !req
216. I'm sure I'll get along
with your family.Copy !req
217. You've so thoroughly
prepared me for the worst.Copy !req
218. As long as they're not
squatting in a ditchCopy !req
219. poking berries up their noses.Copy !req
220. And if they are?Copy !req
221. Here they come!
Raise the flag!Copy !req
222. Lisa!Copy !req
223. Yo, Hugh!Copy !req
224. Here's a little bit
of U.S. hospitality.Copy !req
225. What do you think of that?Copy !req
226. Dad!Copy !req
227. Aah!Copy !req
228. Now throw compost on it.Copy !req
229. Enjoy.Copy !req
230. Still warm.Copy !req
231. You can be the first to try outCopy !req
232. the new guest bedroom I built.Copy !req
233. Remember, if the building
inspector comes byCopy !req
234. it's not a room,
it's a window box.Copy !req
235. Hugh, thank you.Copy !req
236. You've been just wonderful
through this entire ordeal.Copy !req
237. Lisa, I love you so muchCopy !req
238. I'm willing to go
through anything.Copy !req
239. Are you okay?Copy !req
240. I'm fine, Lisa.Copy !req
241. Fortunately, the compost heapCopy !req
242. broke my fall.Copy !req
243. Be a dear, run a bath.Copy !req
244. Homer, Bart, Maggie,
company eating rules?Copy !req
245. Right.Copy !req
246. Anyway, Hugh,Copy !req
247. there's more to my life
than just the wrecking ball.Copy !req
248. I also crush cars into cubes.Copy !req
249. And on the side, I promote
local tough man contests.Copy !req
250. Basically, I'm getting out
all my aggressionCopy !req
251. till I go to law school.Copy !req
252. So, Hugh, have you heard all
the latest American jokes?Copy !req
253. Here's a good one.Copy !req
254. Pull my finger.Copy !req
255. Yes, we have that one
in England too, Mr. Simpson.Copy !req
256. I said, pull my finger!Copy !req
257. Mom, we've got my wedding dress
fitting this afternoon.Copy !req
258. Maggie, if you're
not doing anything,Copy !req
259. why don't you come with us?Copy !req
260. Maggie, don't talk
with your mouth full!Copy !req
261. Me and Bart will take Hugh
out on the town this afternoon.Copy !req
262. Hugh should take it easy
because of his fall.Copy !req
263. Lisa, please.
The only thing bruisedCopy !req
264. in that fall was my spine.Copy !req
265. I'll be delighted.Copy !req
266. Great. There's only one thing
I ask in return.Copy !req
267. - Certainly.
- Pull my finger!Copy !req
268. So, this driving on the leftCopy !req
269. makes you feel
more at home, Hugh?Copy !req
270. And tonight,Copy !req
271. the following celebrities
have been arrested...Copy !req
272. while Heather Locklear FortenskyCopy !req
273. remains at large.Copy !req
274. Remember, if you see
any celebritiesCopy !req
275. consider them dangerous.Copy !req
276. You know, I rather
like this pub.Copy !req
277. Ho! An English boy?Copy !req
278. You know, we saved your ass
in World War II.Copy !req
279. Yeah, well we saved
your ass in World War III.Copy !req
280. That's true.Copy !req
281. Hugh, there's something
I want you to have.Copy !req
282. My dad gave me
his cufflinks to wearCopy !req
283. on the day I married MargeCopy !req
284. and they brought us good luck.Copy !req
285. I couldn't imagine
a happier marriage.Copy !req
286. We don't have many
traditions in our familyCopy !req
287. but it'd mean a lot to meCopy !req
288. if you kept this one alive.Copy !req
289. Well, I'd be honored.Copy !req
290. To...Copy !req
291. wear those... things.Copy !req
292. Aw.Copy !req
293. Hey, watch those virtual darts!Copy !req
294. I'm trying to play virtual pool.Copy !req
295. Why you!Copy !req
296. Hey! Hey!
No fighting in my bar!Copy !req
297. You know, Fox turned intoCopy !req
298. a hard-core sex
channel so graduallyCopy !req
299. I didn't even notice.Copy !req
300. Eesh!Copy !req
301. Marge, it's so great
to have the whole familyCopy !req
302. together under one roof.Copy !req
303. I never realized
how much I missed it.Copy !req
304. Listen to the murmurs
in the next room.Copy !req
305. The house is full of life again.Copy !req
306. Keep it down in there!Copy !req
307. All right, Dad!Copy !req
308. I'm sorry I left you alone
with Homer and Bart.Copy !req
309. No, no, honey.
We had a fine time.Copy !req
310. How did you get that gash
on your forehead?Copy !req
311. That was when
we hid in the dumpsterCopy !req
312. after the fire alarm went offCopy !req
313. in the pornographic
magazine warehouse.Copy !req
314. You are so good
to put up with all of this.Copy !req
315. Don't be silly, Lisa.Copy !req
316. Everything's fine... Really.Copy !req
317. Now go to sleep.Copy !req
318. We have a big day
ahead of us tomorrow.Copy !req
319. A big, long day.Copy !req
320. Lisa, I can't believeCopy !req
321. it's your wedding day already.Copy !req
322. Mom, I feel kind of
funny wearing white.Copy !req
323. I mean, Milhouse...Copy !req
324. Milhouse doesn't count.Copy !req
325. Okay, I've got something old,Copy !req
326. that's my pearl necklace.Copy !req
327. Something new
is the wedding dress.Copy !req
328. Something borrowed
is this antique broochCopy !req
329. from Hugh's mother.Copy !req
330. Now I just need something blue.Copy !req
331. Here.Copy !req
332. Mom, thanks.Copy !req
333. Hi!Copy !req
334. Wow, Lisa, looking at youCopy !req
335. makes me want to get marriedCopy !req
336. for a third time.Copy !req
337. I met a really
nice exotic dancerCopy !req
338. the other night
at Hugh's bachelor party.Copy !req
339. Hugh didn't have
a bachelor party.Copy !req
340. We had one in his honor.Copy !req
341. I had one in his honor.Copy !req
342. I went to a strip club.Copy !req
343. Well, here goes nothing.Copy !req
344. Mom, Dad, meet...Copy !req
345. Homer Simpson.Copy !req
346. - How do you do?
- How are you?Copy !req
347. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
348. You know what's great
about you English?Copy !req
349. "Octopussy."Copy !req
350. Man, I must have
seen that movie... twice.Copy !req
351. Yes...Copy !req
352. Yes!Copy !req
353. Well, that's not too bad.Copy !req
354. Hey, Krabappel.Copy !req
355. You get in the way
of that bouquet,Copy !req
356. I'll stuff that sun hat
down your neck.Copy !req
357. Smithers, take me home.Copy !req
358. I'm not fully defrosted.Copy !req
359. Nonsense.Copy !req
360. Just sit down
and rest for a moment.Copy !req
361. Here you go.Copy !req
362. No.Copy !req
363. We've got a little
situation here.Copy !req
364. I can't feel anything
below my cummerbund.Copy !req
365. Ooh-la-la!Copy !req
366. Hi, Dad.Copy !req
367. You look great, sweetheart.Copy !req
368. Thanks.Copy !req
369. Little Lisa, Lisa Simpson.Copy !req
370. You know, I always felt
you were the best thingCopy !req
371. my name ever got attached to.Copy !req
372. Since the time you learned
to pin your own diapers,Copy !req
373. you've been smarter than me.Copy !req
374. - Dad.
- No, no. Let me finish.Copy !req
375. I just want you to know,
I've always been proud of you.Copy !req
376. You're my greatest
accomplishmentCopy !req
377. and you did it all yourself.Copy !req
378. You helped me understand
my own wife betterCopy !req
379. and taught me to be
a better personCopy !req
380. but you're also my daughter.Copy !req
381. I don't think anybody could have
had a better daughter than...Copy !req
382. - Dad, you're babbling.
- See? You're still helping me.Copy !req
383. Hey, Dad, did you forget to
give those cufflinks to Hugh?Copy !req
384. - No.
- Well?Copy !req
385. I found them on
the nightstand this morning.Copy !req
386. I guess they weren't
his cup of tea.Copy !req
387. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
388. But you've been going on
about these all week.Copy !req
389. I'm sure he just forgot.Copy !req
390. Lisa! We're not
supposed to seeCopy !req
391. each other before the wedding.Copy !req
392. It's tradition.Copy !req
393. What about
my family's tradition?Copy !req
394. Surely, you don't want
me to wear thoseCopy !req
395. in front of my parents
and their friends?Copy !req
396. But you promised
my dad you would.Copy !req
397. I was just humoring
him, darling.Copy !req
398. Actually, he frightens me a bit.Copy !req
399. I know they look a little sillyCopy !req
400. but his feelings will be hurt
if you don't wear them.Copy !req
401. Fine.Copy !req
402. I must say, you were right.Copy !req
403. This has been quite trying.Copy !req
404. You know, I've attempted
to enjoy your familyCopy !req
405. on a personal level,
on an ironic level,Copy !req
406. as a novelty, as camp,
as kitsch,Copy !req
407. as a cautionary example...
Nothing works.Copy !req
408. Frankly, I'll be quite relieved
when we get back to EnglandCopy !req
409. and we won't have
to deal with them.Copy !req
410. Are you saying we won't
see my family again?Copy !req
411. Well, possibly
your mother will comeCopy !req
412. when the children are born.Copy !req
413. I can't believe
I'm hearing this.Copy !req
414. I don't want to cut
my family out of my life.Copy !req
415. Really?Copy !req
416. But Lisa, you're better
than this place...Copy !req
417. You're like a flower that grew
out of a pot of dirt.Copy !req
418. That's a horrible thing to say!Copy !req
419. Come on, you complain
about them more than anyone.Copy !req
420. Maybe, but I still love them,Copy !req
421. and I don't think
you understand that.Copy !req
422. And now, to sing "Amazing Grace"Copy !req
423. Miss Maggie Simpson.Copy !req
424. She's quite a hellionCopy !req
425. but she does have
an incredible voice.Copy !req
426. Stop everything!Copy !req
427. The wedding has been called off.Copy !req
428. Ha! Ha!Copy !req
429. This is very sad newsCopy !req
430. and it never would've happenedCopy !req
431. if the wedding had been
inside the church with GodCopy !req
432. instead of out here in the
cheap showiness of nature.Copy !req
433. Who wants cake?Copy !req
434. The next day,
Hugh goes back to EnglandCopy !req
435. and you never see him again.Copy !req
436. Wow! Now that
I know all thisCopy !req
437. isn't there any way
to change the future?Copy !req
438. No, but try to look surprised.Copy !req
439. I thought you said you'd
tell me about my true love.Copy !req
440. You'll have a true loveCopy !req
441. but I specialize in foretellingCopy !req
442. the relationships where
you get jerked around.Copy !req
443. Lisa! Lisa!
Where were you?Copy !req
444. You missed the most
incredible thing!Copy !req
445. Hi, Dad.Copy !req
446. I ate seven pounds of fudge!Copy !req
447. Wow!Copy !req
448. The man at the stand
said it was a record.Copy !req
449. Wow, what else did you do, Dad?Copy !req
450. I rode the teacups.Copy !req
451. Then I got a little sick
and I had to sit down.Copy !req
452. But then I rode them again...Copy !req
453. Shh.Copy !req
454. ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.Copy !req