The Eric Andre Show 4x2

Directed by

Stacey Dash as Self • Jack McBrayer as Self • Danny Brown as Self • A$AP Rocky as Self • Go Dreamer as Self

Actress Stacey Dash and actor Jack McBrayer are interviewed; A$AP Rocky, Danny Brown and Go Dreamer perform.

Request examples:

!req The Eric Andre Show 4x2 [02:32]
!req The Eric Andre Show 4x2 [The Eric Andre Show 4x2]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Eric Andre Show 4x2 [10-11]; !req The Eric Andre Show 4x2 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Ladies and gentlemen, it's "The Eric Andre Show"!

2. Hurry up. Sit, sit, sit.

3. All right!

4. Okay.

5. Obama — He's the president.

6. There's probably something to do that.

7. That's a premise. Enough.

8. You don't need the whole thing.

9. You don't got to go to the punch line all the time.

10. Ahh.

11. I'm the king, man.

12. I'm King Shit.

13. You're little. You're small.

14. You don't get me.

15. Are you off your meds?

16. I don't need my meds anymore, Hannibal!

17. I'm free for the first time!

18. Why can't you just be happy for me, man?

19. If you happy, then I'm happy.

20. I'm happy! I'm happy!

21. Look at me! Do I not look happy?

22. Do I not look happy?

23. This is the face of a happy person.

24. Hey, Eric, look at me.

25. Bitch.

26. Uh, hi. Do you have any light bulbs?

27. I'm blind.

28. I'm blind.

29. - Is that you?

30. Hi.

31. You know her from "Clueless" and Fox News.

32. Please give it up for Stacey Dash!

33. - Hi. - Whoa.

34. - Hello. - How you doing, girl?

35. - Nice to meet you. - Stacey and Dash.

36. S&D. What's going on, playgirl?

37. Stacey Dash. Yes.

38. - Yes.

39. Am I speaking loud?

40. You're on Fox News.

41. I am on Fox News. Why did you say it like that?

42. I am on board with, I tell you, 110% of your politics.

43. Thank you.

44. I think abortion is not acceptable

45. under any circumstance, even in the case of rape or incest,

46. because these rape/incest babies need to contribute to society.

47. Yeah.

48. They deserve a life.

49. They deserve a painful life.

50. Well, I wouldn't — I'm not saying —

51. I'm sick of this president. I mean, look at this guy.

52. This is what he's doing now?

53. Oh, my gosh.

54. - Please put that away.

55. This is what this guy is doing now with our tax dollars? That's awful.

56. - No, I don't want to see it. - It's unbelievable.

57. He's taking selfies in the Oval Office with Michelle.

58. Could you just lower that for me for a second, please? But he is well-endowed.

59. Just put that thing down.

60. You want to hear my Drake impersonation?

61. Okay.

62. I went to Toronto. I went to Atlanta.

63. I used to drink Pepsi, but now I like Fanta.

64. Did you see "American Sniper"? Of course I did.

65. Who do you think the next racist

66. that Bradley Cooper's gonna play?

67. You think it's gonna be Ty Cobb?

68. Ty Cobb? Hitting black people in the face with a baseball bat.

69. Why are you saying he's playing racists? "Home run." Pfffft!

70. Ooh, there's bugs.

71. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God,

72. There's more than one.

73. - There's many. - No, we got a ton.

74. We got a real problem on our hands.

75. Get them out.

76. - There's rats. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

77. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

78. - Get me out. - We got a real problem.

79. It's a ranch revolution.

80. Pbht. Dude, you got to help me set up this urinal, mellow.

81. My hands are tied. Oh, shit. Wait.

82. You're Stephany Nuggs.

83. What's up, Steph Nuggs?

84. No bris-respect. You circumcised?

85. I just spent my last dollar on clove babes.

86. Pfft! Pfft!

87. Buzz me, dude.

88. You on MTV Sports?

89. Dude, I went to the aquarium one time.

90. I saw an octopus, picked it up, put it on my "D."

91. That thing was straight working it, twerking it, squirting it.

92. Busted like two bags of milk in that octopus, dude.

93. I was, like, enlightened for a week, bro,

94. just blessing people like I'm L.R. Rage

95. at the Scientology center.

96. Stop.

97. Yo, bro-tendo, you mind if I bathe your wife?

98. I don't know what you're talking about.

99. I just got back from the Mountain Dew Awards, dude,

100. plugging my noob sabaw commercial.

101. Next thing you know, I'm on the DVD extras

102. for the new Tyler Perry movie.

103. Oh, shit. Hold on, dude.

104. I'm hacking a hologram.

105. You in blackface?

106. Uh...

107. Ladies and gentlemen, you know him from "30 Rock."

108. Please give it up for Jack McBrayer!

109. I love this purple shirt.

110. Well, thank you. That's, like, Barney, the last dinosaur.

111. Jackée!

112. Can I call you Jackée like from "227"?

113. Yeah.

114. When's the last time you ate?

115. I've — I have —

116. Let's get Jack some food in here.

117. He looks meek.

118. I don't need food.

119. - Got some Jolly Ranchers. - Here we go.

120. - No, I had — - Yeah, we got —

121. Oh. God damn it.

122. Ah, come on!

123. - Come on. Come on here. - Come on!

124. - Some snacks. - You want some snacks?

125. - Snacks for Jack. - I'm good.

126. - That was — Eric. - Do you know what that is?

127. You know what they say.

128. If it's gray, it's healthy for you.

129. No one has ever said that.

130. Only thing gray that you can eat that would be healthy for you

131. is, I think, seal meat.

132. What is that? Do you know?

133. It's like some type of, like, gray food or something.

134. - How about them prices, Jack?

135. What did he say?

136. Yeah, how about these prices?

137. Which price do you like better?

138. What's going on?

139. I can't win with you.

140. This is what my real voice sounds like.

141. What's happening?

142. You don't listen. That's the problem, Jack.

143. You don't listen. Okay?

144. I'm a very good listener. You could learn from me, okay?

145. Can we pause one second? Jack's microphone came loose.

146. Just pause one second. Sorry.

147. This is madness.

148. This is your job?

149. Oh, is it — Did it come unplugged?

150. What are you do—

151. I'm just trying to do my job.

152. Just...

153. Boo!

154. Can I interview the two most beautiful women in New York?

155. No, let me interview — Oh!

156. Let me interview you. Let me interview you.

157. - Yeah!

158. - Not gonna sign shit. - You're not gonna sign shit!

159. They ain't gonna sign shit. You.

160. This is you TV. This is you TV.

161. That's perfect. you guys!

162. You can't film us! Oh, shit!

163. Bitch

164. you! Stop filming me!

165. Stop filming me! you!

166. Leave me alone! I'm gonna kill myself!

167. Tell them to stop filming me!

168. Tell them to get the away from me!

169. Get the away from me!

170. Bird up.

171. And we are back with Jack McBrayer.

172. - You seem tense. - Yeah.

173. Okay, well, we're trying, you know.

174. We're sincerely trying.

175. I mean, we —

176. Nobody's watching this thing, okay?

177. We're in dire straits over here,

178. and I just thought you could bring, like,

179. a positive spin to this whole thing.

180. I don't think I can.

181. I don't think I knew what I was getting into.

182. No, Jack. Jack, please.

183. For me. For my sake.

184. You got to spin this positive.

185. - You seem tense, Jack. - Come on.

186. I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you.

187. I want you — I put you in the hot seat, brother,

188. 'cause I like you and you got a good personality.

189. And let me tell you something else.

190. I haven't slept in weeks.

191. Once you realize that you don't have to sleep anymore, pshoo!

192. Your mind goes wide open.

193. You do have to sleep. And the real thoughts can come in.

194. Get rid of the rats.

195. Ladies and gentlemen, pardon the interruption.

196. Today I'm selling Chinese food. 50 cents a bite.

197. You want some Chinese food?

198. Chinese food, man?

199. You want some Chinese food?

200. No, thank you. No, thank you.

201. It's for my basketball team, man. No, thank you.

202. Hey, you don't like Chinese food?

203. What the man?

204. What is going on with you?

205. I'm doing it for my basketball team.

206. I'll slap the shit out of you on this train. Okay, all right, man.

207. - Damn.

208. I'm trying to give you Chinese food, man.

209. - Back up with that. - Okay, I'm — It's for the kids.

210. LA Choiw noodles. It's for the kids.

211. There's no teams, no uniforms.

212. Just a bunch of rappers.

213. It's time for "Rapper Warrior Ninja."

214. Attempting to rap while blindfolded,

215. each contestant will have to make it through

216. the soiled underwear, mousetrap plank,

217. ball swing alley, and the snake pit

218. in order to take home the win.

219. Oh, you bitch ass nigga. You done touched on me.

220. You got to be

221. - Oh, shit. - Don't stop rapping!

222. Hey, how high am I, brother?

223. - Keep freestyling!

224. Oh! Now give me — Aah!

225. give me something to defend myself with, bro.