The Eric Andre Show 3x8

Directed by

Jimmy Kimmel as Self • Tyler, the Creator as Self

Jimmy Kimmel and Tyler The Creator are interviewed. Also: HEALTH performs.

Request examples:

!req The Eric Andre Show 3x8 [02:32]
!req The Eric Andre Show 3x8 [The Eric Andre Show 3x8]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Eric Andre Show 3x8 [10-11]; !req The Eric Andre Show 3x8 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Ladies and gentlemen,

2. it's "the Eric Andre show"!

3. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

4. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

5. Aaaaaaaaaah!

6. Aaaaah!

7. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

8. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

9. Aaaaah! Ohh!

10. Aaah! Ohh!

11. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

12. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

13. Nooooooooooooooo!

14. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

15. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

16. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

17. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

18. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

19. Oof!

20. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

21. I'm gonna do a monologue.

22. So, the... they got a new

23. actress out named, uh,

24. Emma Roberts.

25. Yeah.

26. Apparently, she's made out of

27. Eric Roberts' jizz.

28. What?

29. Yeah.

30. It's like, "Jesus called!

31. He wants his miracle back!"

32. Why would...

33. yeah. Jesus was all like,

34. "uh, check, prease!"

35. We all know Jesus was Asian,

36. okay?

37. His real name was

38. chinesus clist.

39. That's not good stuff.

40. Uh, uh, so... so, they got

41. this new Chinese rapper,

42. rr coor j.

43. Investigate 9/11.

44. 9/11 was perpetrated by people

45. within our own government.

46. [ Audience shouting

47. Uh, somebody needs to

48. chillax, 'cause I think we all

49. know "rine areven" was a

50. "rinside rob"!

51. How dare you,

52. mother

53. You thought I wasn't gonna

54. find out?

55. You! You, bitch!

56. You thought I wasn't gonna

57. find out?

58. Bitch! You thought you're so

59. Slick?

60. Michelle!

61. Owww!

62. Mother that's right!

63. Michelle!

64. You know what?

65. This is a bag of my feces!

66. That's right!

67. Oh, Michelle, come on!

68. There is enough for you and

69. your woman!

70. Dude.

71. Hmm?

72. We got a guest, dude.

73. No, yeah. I know.

74. Uh, Jimmy kimmel, come out.

75. Hey!

76. What's up?

77. Nothing. How you doing?

78. Shhhhh!

79. I'm eating fish and chips as

80. much as possible.

81. Excellent. Excellent.

82. In england, they're, uh...

83. Jimmy, I'm talking right now.

84. Oh, I'm sorry.

85. Do you ever take some of...

86. After you take a poo, you take

87. some of the turds out of the

88. toilet with chopsticks and you

89. try and put them back inside

90. your body just in case you

91. missed out on any nutrients?

92. What the are you

93. talking about, man?

94. That makes perfect sense,

95. man.

96. Shut the up asshole!

97. Boom! Kimmel!

98. I am killin' it.

99. You're on the show.

100. This is a show!

101. You get to meet me.

102. Mm-hmm.

103. Look at me!

104. Heh!

105. Well, um...

106. Are you familiar?

107. You got your start in radio.

108. Joe, get out of the shot, man.

109. You got to get out of the

110. shot, man.

111. What are you doing, Joe?

112. You're in the shot!

113. He's going through a really

114. rough time.

115. His wife's really sick.

116. My seat feels like, um...

117. Like it's alive or something.

118. Yeah, we got snakes.

119. With human traits.

120. They got emotions and they cough

121. and they watch TV shows.

122. You have snakes with human

123. traits?

124. Mm-hmm.

125. That is a...

126. That is a good question.

127. Uh, you married?

128. Yeah.

129. Joe.

130. Joe, get out of the shot,

131. man!

132. Joe. We got sound, Joe.

133. We'll just adr it.

134. That microphone is dripping.

135. Yeah, Joe.

136. Get out of the shot, man!

137. Joe, we got sound.

138. We'll figure it out.

139. Why don't you ever wear a

140. chocolate suit... like, a suit

141. made out of chocolate so you can

142. eat?

143. Are you, uh, combing my hair

144. for lice?

145. Yeah, I was checking for

146. lice.

147. And?

148. You're good.

149. Thank you.

150. Hey. You're a funny man.

151. Tell us a joke.

152. All right. Uh...

153. So, these two guys are out in

154. the middle of the desert.

155. Mm-hmm.

156. One guy gets bit by a

157. snake...

158. right on the head of his

159. dick.

160. Get out of the shot, man.

161. Get out of the shot!

162. Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

163. Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

164. Ranch!

165. Yo!

166. Dude, I swear I know you from

167. somewhere, dude.

168. Really?

169. You're simple Simon.

170. You're either Simon or

171. pimple Pete.

172. You look situational!

173. You ever see that show "psych"

174. on usa?

175. "Psych"?

176. Characters welcome, dude.

177. Hey, dude.

178. You got any ranch?

179. You a chomo?

180. You listen to the new

181. Jerry sandusky cd?

182. Uh, I have not.

183. Yeah, yeah.

184. He's doing a duet with

185. Roman polanski and Woody Allen.

186. Wow.

187. Yeah, dude.

188. I'm fully aroused right now,

189. bro.

190. I straight-up climaxed like six

191. times since I started talking to

192. you.

193. Yo, dude.

194. Do you want some ranch?

195. Take your shirt off, dude.

196. Let me see your breasts.

197. Can you just go away?

198. Hashtag real quick, you're

199. being a narc right now, dude,

200. straight up.

201. You're, like, ignoring me and,

202. like, eating chipotle in my

203. face, and you know I'm on a

204. hunger strike.

205. Tyler the creator.

206. Hi. I can't breathe.

207. [ Cheers and applause

208. What... what, um...

209. Do you believe in god?

210. Do you believe in god?

211. I don't know.

212. Focus.

213. Your dad's here.

214. [ Melancholy piano music

215. I got shit to do next week.

216. Yeah, I got shit to do, too.

217. I got shit to do, like,

218. tomorrow.

219. Got dreams and stuff.

220. We've been through a lot.

221. We've been through a lot today.

222. Yeah, today we got really

223. far.

224. Yeah.

225. I'm just happy everyone got

226. to see me...

227. What the...?

228. Investigate 311!

229. Yo, you're watching

230. "bird up!"... The worst show on

231. televis...

232. Can you put on this mask?

233. All right, take it easy,

234. though.

235. Take it easy. Take it easy.

236. I'm not even here.

237. "Bird up!"

238. Has anyone seen waterman?

239. Ahhhhh.

240. Yea-a-a-a-a-a-h.

241. That's perfect.

242. Really?

243. Ugh.

244. Here to cook some health food

245. for us... health!

246. I guess that makes sense.

247. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

248. Ohh.

249. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!