The Eric Andre Show 3x7

Directed by

Ryan Phillippe as Self • Naturi Naughton as Self

Naturi Naughton and Ryan Phillippe are interviewed. Trash Talk performs.

Request examples:

!req The Eric Andre Show 3x7 [02:32]
!req The Eric Andre Show 3x7 [The Eric Andre Show 3x7]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Eric Andre Show 3x7 [10-11]; !req The Eric Andre Show 3x7 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Ladies and gentlemen, it's

2. "the Eric Andre show"!

3. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

4. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

5. Ohhhh!

6. Aaaaaaaaaaah!

7. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

8. Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

9. Hyah! Hyah!

10. Hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah,

11. hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah,

12. hyah, hyah, hyah!

13. We got Russell brand in the

14. house tonight!

15. Who are you?

16. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

17. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

18. Get him, Jesus! Get Buddha!

19. Yeah!

20. Get him, Buddha!

21. Aaaaaah!

22. Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

23. Kali ma...

24. Aaaaaaaaaaah!

25. Ahhh!

26. Knock it off!

27. That's all I got planned for the

28. show.

29. S-s-s-s...

30. Cut!

31. What's up, y'all?

32. so, uh, I was jacking off to

33. a scene from "django unchained"

34. the other night, and, uh, I

35. said, "yeah, it's no 'roots, '"

36. but then I came anyway.

37. What? What does that...

38. you ever Jack off to the

39. miniseries "roots"?

40. No.

41. Hey, give it up for

42. Hannibal burgers, everybody.

43. You... just get the

44. Out of here!

45. Oh, man.

46. So, I just heard this recently.

47. It is official.

48. Justin bieber is dead.

49. Man, you made that up, man.

50. We got a lot of fun stuff

51. planned this season, y'all.

52. Catch the excitement.

53. Ladies and gentlemen, I have

54. some bad news.

55. I did not get the job at

56. Froot Loops.

57. My body is now your communion.

58. Please eat from me.

59. Eat from me.

60. Drink from me.

61. Drink from me.

62. Drink from me.

63. Drink from me.

64. Please eat from me.

65. Ohh!

66. Don't touch me!

67. Don't touch me!

68. I've got nothing!

69. Don't you care?

70. Don't care about what,

71. homeboy?

72. I didn't get the job...

73. I don't give a

74. Don't touch me!

75. I didn't get the job at

76. Froot Loops.

77. My next guest is on a new show

78. called "power"!

79. Please welcome naturi naughton!

80. Oh, thank you, guys.

81. That was so fun!

82. Yeah, what do you got com...

83. In the works?

84. I have a new show on starz.

85. You probably would love it.

86. It's very, like, hot...

87. this is how I dance, so I

88. understand if you're attracted

89. to me right now.

90. Oh.

91. I'm a virgin.

92. Oh.

93. I'm saving my virginity for

94. divorce.

95. What? What?

96. I'd Me!

97. Wait a minute.

98. Aren't we supposed to be...

99. Settle down.

100. Hey, check this out.

101. Oh, wow!

102. Is that a lyft thing?

103. Yeah, I stole it off the

104. front of a car.

105. Aaaah! Oh, my gosh!

106. Okay, I can't...

107. you farted?

108. That's not cool.

109. That's not even funny.

110. Why do I got so much trouble

111. digesting Kale?

112. You got to chew.

113. Well...

114. Kale is buzzin' right now.

115. It's like the new hot thing.

116. It's trending.

117. Kale got that

118. Matthew McConaughey buzz

119. poppin'.

120. Oh, really?

121. Like, as far as career

122. arcs, like, Kale was sort of,

123. you know, looked down upon, but

124. some people were with it

125. at first.

126. But now it's, like, real

127. popular.

128. But then Kale got on some

129. real big projects and is on an

130. incredible run right now!

131. That's an interesting way to

132. put it, actually.

133. Let's eat some tools.

134. We're good.

135. Hmm.

136. Play us out, Russell!

137. Ohh!

138. Yo, man. We're from TV.

139. I got one question... do you

140. believe in society's lies?

141. Hey, Jason, how you doing, man?

142. How you doing, Eric?

143. Good, man.

144. Hit the lights, guys!

145. Now I got one question.

146. What's up?

147. Do you believe in society's

148. lies?

149. No!

150. Let me tell you something.

151. You got 10 seconds left!

152. Let me tell you

153. something about society's lies.

154. What does Obama think?

155. He's not real!

156. Give me those night-vision

157. goggles, man.

158. Night-biscuit goggles?

159. What the fu...

160. question 2... do you believe

161. in the lies of society?

162. No!

163. It's all bullshit!

164. Bullshit!

165. Sign all this paperwork, man!

166. I'm feeling you!

167. I believe in the second

168. amendment.

169. I shoot my guns every

170. single day.

171. Amen, brother

172. White power!

173. Hey, hey, hey!

174. America!

175. Take the microphone.

176. Take this off.

177. Give them that back.

178. What the

179. Cut!

180. You're trying to get me

181. pregnant, and I don't want you

182. to get me pregnant!

183. I don't want to be pregnant!

184. And we are back with

185. naturi naughton.

186. I don't want to get you

187. pregnant at all.

188. I won't cheat on you...

189. Okay.

190. Except for when I travel.

191. Why do you guys want to

192. sleep around on me?

193. When I'm traveling, you can

194. Trey songz.

195. Oh, I do like Trey songz.

196. I have a huge crush on him.

197. Well, there it is!

198. There you go!

199. He's a talented artist.

200. He does the whole alphabet.

201. I met him.

202. Who?

203. Trey songz.

204. He does the whole alphabet...

205. With his tongue.

206. Oh, wow.

207. A, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, I, j,

208. k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u,

209. v...

210. He ate out my ass

211. Wow.

212. How'd you get the

213. notorious b.I.G. Movie?

214. Yes. Um...

215. You played lil' Kim.

216. I did. I played lil' Kim.

217. What... what'd you do to get

218. into the role?

219. Well, I definitely got in

220. character.

221. It was a fun role.

222. I mean, it's vulnerable.

223. Yeah? So, you a

224. married fat man to get in

225. character?

226. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

227. No, no, no. Uh, no.

228. I was just asking.

229. That was a challenge, and,

230. honestly, that was one of the

231. hardest jobs that I've...

232. wait, wait, wait.

233. So, you're telling me...

234. You're telling me it was...

235. oh, my gosh.

236. Okay. Um, okay.

237. I hope this is, like, not real.

238. Okay. Uh, focus.

239. Uh...

240. So, you were talking about

241. the movie or something.

242. Aaah!

243. Aaaaaaaaaah!

244. Okay. Okay. Ohh.

245. We got a bunch of them.

246. We got a real problem.

247. Please don't.

248. Wait a minute!

249. That's actually real!

250. It's like roaches, you know?

251. It's like roaches.

252. Aaaaaaaah! Okay.

253. It's like roaches.

254. This is not... aaaaah!

255. Aaaaaaaah!

256. Chief's riding my ass.

257. I say him!

258. What's up?

259. You got a boyfriend, or...

260. I don't care anymore.

261. It's my last day on the force.

262. Ryan phillippe, we're ready.

263. You got any new stuff you're

264. working on?

265. Yeah, I am. I'm an actor.

266. I'm also...

267. this is absolutely true.

268. It turns out... I read this

269. online... David mamet, when he

270. finished "glengarry Glen Ross,"

271. he typed "the end," printed it

272. out, decided to celebrate.

273. He ended up one of the

274. monkeys from "wizard of oz"...

275. Just banged the shit out of her,

276. no condom.

277. Oh!

278. Four years later, that monkey

279. gave birth to zosia mamet.

280. Ow! Ow! Oww!

281. This is hurting my hands!

282. Hey, yo! My co-host is here!

283. Oh, shit. You got one, too?

284. What's up, fool?

285. Hey, what's up, man?

286. Chilling, man.

287. Ohh!

288. Want some almonds, dog?

289. That's awesome.

290. You ever been to an awards

291. ceremony?

292. I have, yeah.

293. Let me give you the, uh,

294. pencil award for best actor.

295. Ryan, you know what I'm talking

296. about.

297. Ryan, you ever been on set

298. and then there's a bunch of girl

299. extras and you walk up to one

300. and you say, "somebody just got

301. promoted"?

302. Yeah, casting couch.

303. Some people say life begins

304. at conception.

305. I say life begins when

306. Ryan phillippe is horny and

307. ladies be ovulating.

308. Am I right, dog?

309. Whoo-whoo!

310. Ryan's like

311. How many kids do you have off

312. the books?

313. Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-al!

314. Uno! Dos! Tres! Punto! Cinco!

315. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

316. [ "We wish you a merry

317. Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

318. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

319. Aah! Aah!

320. Aah!

321. Ugh!

322. Aah!

323. Ugh!

324. Ohh! Ohh!

325. Happy hanukkah!

326. Uh...

327. here to try to perform while

328. wearing volume-sensitive shock

329. collars, trash talk.

330. God!

331. Do you know who I am?

332. Ooh!

333. Coconut Perry!

334. Coconut Perry is my ex-wife.

335. Awesome.