1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. and NICKELODEON]Copy !req
6. Here you go, sir.Copy !req
7. A King Size
Ultra Krabby Supreme
with the worksCopy !req
8. double batter-fried
on a stick.Copy !req
9. Thanks!Copy !req
10. Barnacle head.Copy !req
11. Pardon me?Copy !req
12. You forgot
your mayonnaise.Copy !req
13. Thanks.Copy !req
14. Look at them eating
that garbage.Copy !req
15. It's disgusting.Copy !req
16. They're sickening.Copy !req
17. I hate Krabby Patties.Copy !req
18. Good one, Squidward!Copy !req
19. Good what?Copy !req
20. Like you don't know.Copy !req
21. Saying "I hate Krabby Patties."Copy !req
22. That's hilarious!Copy !req
23. Everyone loves Krabby Patties.Copy !req
24. Yeah, well, not me.Copy !req
25. You're good at that.Copy !req
26. Hey, everyone!Copy !req
27. Squid says he doesn't
like Krabby Patties. Ha!Copy !req
28. Good one, Squidward!Copy !req
29. Don't encourage them!Copy !req
30. They'll never leave.Copy !req
31. Sorry, Squidward.Copy !req
32. It's just so funny.Copy !req
33. You know what we say:Copy !req
34. The only people
who don't like a Krabby PattyCopy !req
35. have never tasted one.Copy !req
36. That's me.Copy !req
37. Never had one, never will.Copy !req
38. What?Copy !req
39. What?Copy !req
40. What did you say?Copy !req
41. I've never had a Krabby PattyCopy !req
42. and never will.Copy !req
43. I'm sorry... I don't...Copy !req
44. I've never had a Krabby Patty.Copy !req
45. Those words!Copy !req
46. Is it possible to use themCopy !req
47. in a sentence
together like that?Copy !req
48. I've never had a Krabby Patty!
I've never had a Krabby Patty!
I've never had a Krabby Patty!Copy !req
49. Never had a Krabby Patty?Copy !req
50. Well, you've gotta have one
right now!Copy !req
51. No wonder you're
always so miserable!Copy !req
52. Here, try this!Copy !req
53. Get that garbage
outta my face!Copy !req
54. If you try it,
you'll love it!Copy !req
55. Try one of those radioactive
sludge balls you call food?Copy !req
56. Next I suppose you'll want me to
go square-dancing with Patrick.Copy !req
57. Sorry, Patrick.Copy !req
58. Come on, you're gonna...Copy !req
59. No.Copy !req
60. Open up the tunnel.Copy !req
61. Here comes the train.Copy !req
62. Choo-choo...Copy !req
63. No!Copy !req
64. Whoop! What's that
in your ear?Copy !req
65. Quit it.Copy !req
66. Come on, open wide!Copy !req
67. SpongeBob,
if I were trappedCopy !req
68. at the bottom of a
well for three yearsCopy !req
69. with nothing to eat
but that Krabby PattyCopy !req
70. I'd eat
my own legs first!Copy !req
71. And not just
the extra ones.Copy !req
72. But it's good for you!Copy !req
73. Good for you?Copy !req
74. That thing is a heart attack
on a bun!Copy !req
75. No, Squidward, I meant...
good for your soul.Copy !req
76. Oh, puh-leez! I have no soul.Copy !req
77. Okay, just half.Copy !req
78. No.Copy !req
79. A quarter?Copy !req
80. No.Copy !req
81. One bite?Copy !req
82. Just smell it.Copy !req
83. If I didn't want it
out thereCopy !req
84. what makes you think
I'd find itCopy !req
85. more appealing
in here?Copy !req
86. Come on, Squidward.Copy !req
87. No.Copy !req
88. One bite.Copy !req
89. No.Copy !req
90. You won't be sorry.Copy !req
91. No!Copy !req
92. It's delicious...Copy !req
93. SpongeBob, how long are you
prepared to keep this up?Copy !req
94. Give me that!Copy !req
95. When I die... you stay
away from my funeral.Copy !req
96. Ohh... do I really...Copy !req
97. Ah...Copy !req
98. Ooh...Copy !req
99. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...Copy !req
100. Why... this Krabby Patty
may be the most...Copy !req
101. Horrible!Copy !req
102. Putrid!Copy !req
103. Poorly prepared!
Vile!Copy !req
104. Unappetizing!Copy !req
105. Disgusting excuse
for a sandwichCopy !req
106. it has ever been
my displeasureCopy !req
107. to have slither
down my throat!Copy !req
108. But..Copy !req
109. And I curse
this Krabby PattyCopy !req
110. and all who enjoy them
to an earlyCopy !req
111. and well-deserved
grave!Copy !req
112. Get it?Copy !req
113. But it doesn't
make any senseCopy !req
114. The Krabby Patty
is an absolute good.Copy !req
115. Nobody is immune
to its tasty charms.Copy !req
116. Nobody but me.Copy !req
117. Are you sure?Copy !req
118. Does this look unsure
to you?Copy !req
119. No.Copy !req
120. Good!Copy !req
121. Now go spread the word.Copy !req
122. Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!Copy !req
123. Ah...Copy !req
124. Still alive!Copy !req
125. Oh, so delicious!Copy !req
126. Oh...! The wasted years!Copy !req
127. I got to have more.
I got to have more!Copy !req
128. But wait!Copy !req
129. After that
performanceCopy !req
130. he'd never let me
live it down!Copy !req
131. I gotta sneak one, just one...Copy !req
132. then I'm off the stuff for good!Copy !req
133. I didn't think it was possibleCopy !req
134. but I guess some people
just don't like Krabby Patties!Copy !req
135. Uh, SpongeBob?Copy !req
136. Yes, Squidward?Copy !req
137. I need a Triple Krabby Supreme
on a kelp bunCopy !req
138. with extra sea pickle and,
and burn it to a crisp, okay?Copy !req
139. Coming right up!Copy !req
140. Listen, Squidward.Copy !req
141. I want to apologize
for before.Copy !req
142. I was only trying
to make you happy.Copy !req
143. but now
I've learnedCopy !req
144. there's room for
all kinds of people...Copy !req
145. and they don't
all have to like
the same things.Copy !req
146. Don't go.Copy !req
147. While I strongly
disagreeCopy !req
148. with your decision,
I accept it.Copy !req
149. You know, it's not often
I get to make one like this.Copy !req
150. I want to see the look
on their faceCopy !req
151. when they take
that first bite.Copy !req
152. Triple Krabby Supreme!Copy !req
153. Triple Krabby Supreme!Copy !req
154. Did somebody order
a Triple Krabby Supreme?Copy !req
155. Huh? They must have left.Copy !req
156. Well, uh, why don't you
just uh, leave it out hereCopy !req
157. in case they come back.Copy !req
158. Nope, a patty this special
should be eaten freshCopy !req
159. and... well... I haven't
had one of these babiesCopy !req
160. in over 20 minutes so...Copy !req
161. Well, whoever they were,
they had great taste!Copy !req
162. Mm, mm-hmm-hmm,
mm-hmm-hmm-hmm...Copy !req
163. Ah, they don't know
what they're missing.Copy !req
164. Well, back to work.Copy !req
165. What do I have to do?Copy !req
166. Eat one out of the garbage?Copy !req
167. I wish I could eat this,
but I'm so darn full.Copy !req
168. Oh well.Copy !req
169. I had to say garbage...
but okay!Copy !req
170. Bleah...Copy !req
171. Oh no, what's this
doing here?Copy !req
172. This patty should
be cremated!Copy !req
173. I know you didn't
like himCopy !req
174. but it means so much
that you came.Copy !req
175. Honey?Copy !req
176. What? Oh...Copy !req
177. I have got to get my hands
on a Krabby Patty!Copy !req
178. And no one's going to stop me.Copy !req
179. There it is...Copy !req
180. Holy shrimp!Copy !req
181. I don't know where to start.Copy !req
182. All that matters is thatCopy !req
183. it's just you... and me...
and nobody...Copy !req
184. Squidward?Copy !req
185. Is that you?Copy !req
186. SpongeBob?Copy !req
187. Uh, uh, uh...
what are you doing here?Copy !req
188. I always come to work
at 3:00 a.m.Copy !req
189. This is when I count
the sesame seeds.Copy !req
190. What are you doing here?Copy !req
191. Uh... I forgot my...Copy !req
192. And why is
the patty vault open?Copy !req
193. And why are you holding
a patty behind your back?Copy !req
194. I... I... I...
no, I didn't do...Copy !req
195. And why are you
acting so nervous?Copy !req
196. And why are you
sweating so much?Copy !req
197. And why do you look so hungry?Copy !req
198. No, wait... it's
not what you think.Copy !req
199. Th-this is a big
misunderstanding.Copy !req
200. You've got to
believe me, I...Copy !req
201. Listen, I am
telling you...Copy !req
202. You better listen
to me, SpongeBob.Copy !req
203. You like Krabby Patties,
don't you, Squidward?Copy !req
204. Yes! Yes! I admit it, SpongeBob!Copy !req
205. I loveKrabby Patties!Copy !req
206. I knew it all along,
Squidward.Copy !req
207. No one can resist
a Krabby Patty.Copy !req
208. Squidward!
How many are you eating?Copy !req
209. Squidward!Copy !req
210. Squidward, you can't eat
all those patties at one time!Copy !req
211. Squidward!Copy !req
212. What's gonna happen?Copy !req
213. Am I gonna blow up?Copy !req
214. No, worse— it'll go
right to your thighs...Copy !req
215. My thighs?Copy !req
216. and then
you'll blow up.Copy !req
217. Yeah...Copy !req
218. I remember my first
Krabby Patty.Copy !req
219. Excuse me, Miss.Copy !req
220. I don't want to have
to report you again.Copy !req
221. I was just wondering...Copy !req
222. Is it the "homework pencil"
on the left side of the paperCopy !req
223. next to the "quiz pencil"Copy !req
224. or over on the right side,
all by itself... or...Copy !req
225. I think it goes
stuck inside your...Copy !req
226. Wait! I got it!Copy !req
227. The "quiz pencil"
goes right over hereCopy !req
228. next to the "essay" pencil.Copy !req
229. And the "essay" pencil
gets turned sidewaysCopy !req
230. towards the notepad.Copy !req
231. Just in case
I have to write an essay.Copy !req
232. MRS.
Good morning, class!Copy !req
233. Sorry I'm late...Copy !req
234. I got caught in traffic
on the way hereCopy !req
235. when that whole
"I'm gonna be doing this
for the rest of my life" thingCopy !req
236. reared its ugly headCopy !req
237. and I...Copy !req
238. Anyway, we have a new student
starting today.Copy !req
239. So let's all put on a happy faceCopy !req
240. for Flats the Flounder.Copy !req
241. Tell the class something
about yourself, Flats.Copy !req
242. Well, I like to
kick people's butts.Copy !req
243. What a card.Copy !req
244. Now, Flats, it's time
to pick your seat.Copy !req
245. Just go ahead
and sit anywhere you like.Copy !req
246. MRS.
Okay, class,
as you remember last week...Copy !req
247. Hi, I'm SpongeBob.Copy !req
248. Hi, SpongeBob.Copy !req
249. I'm gonna
kick your butt.Copy !req
250. Whoa!Copy !req
251. That joke was almost
funnier the second time.Copy !req
252. No... I mean it.Copy !req
253. That time
it almost seemed like...Copy !req
254. you did mean it.Copy !req
255. Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
256. Yes, SpongeBob?Copy !req
257. Can I be excused
for the rest of my life?Copy !req
258. Why no, SpongeBob.Copy !req
259. I'm in the middle of a coffee-
fueled sermon right now.Copy !req
260. You can't afford
to miss this information.Copy !req
261. Yes, Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
262. Sorry, Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
263. Now... can I please
have a volunteerCopy !req
264. to come up to the board?Copy !req
265. How about you, Flats?Copy !req
266. Please draw for us a diagramCopy !req
267. of a basic four-way
intersection, Flats.Copy !req
268. Please turn
and show the classCopy !req
269. what you drew, honey.Copy !req
270. My!
How very creative!Copy !req
271. We have an artist
in the class!Copy !req
272. I just don't understand.Copy !req
273. Why would Flats
want to kick mybutt?Copy !req
274. I haven't said
two words to the guy!Copy !req
275. Hi, I'm SpongeBob.Copy !req
276. One... two...Copy !req
277. Oh no, that's three!Copy !req
278. What am I gonna do?Copy !req
279. What's that? Someone's coming.Copy !req
280. They're getting closer.Copy !req
281. I just got to act natural.Copy !req
282. Oh, that's real nice.Copy !req
283. Whew!
I thought for sure
that was gonna be...Copy !req
284. Flats?Copy !req
285. Uh, hello, um... sir.Copy !req
286. Uh... kicked any
good butts lately?Copy !req
287. Yeah, I remember
last weekCopy !req
288. I was kickin' this
guy's butt real good...Copy !req
289. and he leans over and says...Copy !req
290. "Hey, ya know... life's like
a bucket of wood shavings,Copy !req
291. "except for when the shavings
are in a pail...Copy !req
292. then it's like a pail
of wood shavings."Copy !req
293. Hey, that story
really speaks to me.Copy !req
294. Really? What's it say?Copy !req
295. It says now I'm gonna
kick your butt twice as hard.Copy !req
296. It says now I'm gonna
kick your butt twice as hard.Copy !req
297. And I'll leave
Gary's water bowl to GaryCopy !req
298. and my curtains to...Copy !req
299. Oh, Neptune,
I just can't do this!Copy !req
300. Death row.
"Next-in-line" speaking.Copy !req
301. Hi! I'd like to place
an order for delivery.Copy !req
302. Patrick! Is that you?Copy !req
303. Yeah. Hey, Mario.Copy !req
304. Let me get a large,
double olive, double...Copy !req
305. Patrick, listen!
It's me, SpongeBob!Copy !req
306. I need your help.Copy !req
307. You're working
at Pizza Castle now?Copy !req
308. What? No... listen!Copy !req
309. I'm in big trouble.Copy !req
310. There's a new guy at school here
and he wants kick my butt.Copy !req
311. Listen, you're big and strong.Copy !req
312. Do you think
you can come down here...Copy !req
313. maybe rough him up a bit,
just to get him off my back?Copy !req
314. Please, Patrick!Copy !req
315. I'm so scared it feels
like I'm gonna throw up.Copy !req
316. No, they're not closed...Copy !req
317. I know, you want olives...Copy !req
318. Patrick? You there?Copy !req
319. Oh, I'm sorry,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
320. I was just talking
to my old community
college buddy, Flats.Copy !req
321. I bumped into him
at the soda store,
isn't that funny?Copy !req
322. It must have been years
since we've seen each other.Copy !req
323. Well, let me get going.Copy !req
324. He's got to go
back to school soon.Copy !req
325. He says he's got to
kick somebody's butt.Copy !req
326. Aah...!Copy !req
327. Hello?
Is this Pizza Castle?Copy !req
328. Aah...!Copy !req
329. Come in, SpongeBob.Copy !req
330. Mrs. Puff, can I be
in a different class?Copy !req
331. But why?Copy !req
332. I can't tell you.Copy !req
333. Why ever not?Copy !req
334. I just can't, Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
335. My physical being is at stake.Copy !req
336. Let's just leave it at that.Copy !req
337. SpongeBob,
you can tell me anything.Copy !req
338. You've got to believe that.Copy !req
339. Well... okay.Copy !req
340. But only if you promise
to keep it between us.Copy !req
341. Of course.Copy !req
342. Flats says
he's gonna kick my butt!Copy !req
343. What? There shall be
no butt-kickingCopy !req
344. in any class of mine.Copy !req
345. This is an adult program.Copy !req
346. SpongeBob, just leave it to me.Copy !req
347. Aw, thanks, Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
348. I knew I could count on you.Copy !req
349. Have a nice lunch, SpongeBob?Copy !req
350. Yes, Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
351. Psst! SpongeBob!Copy !req
352. I talked to Flats for you.Copy !req
353. I used your name.Copy !req
354. It was all
a misunderstanding.Copy !req
355. You what?Copy !req
356. He was never going to
kick your butt at all.Copy !req
357. You see, SpongeBob,
Flats is from a townCopy !req
358. where "kicking
someone's butt"Copy !req
359. means that he wants
to be your friendCopy !req
360. and maybe playCopy !req
361. some sports with you
on weekends. and maybe playCopy !req
362. some sports with you
on weekends.Copy !req
363. I got diarrhea.Copy !req
364. Huh?Copy !req
365. Are you Flats's Dad?Copy !req
366. Why, yes, I am.Copy !req
367. Okay, see...Copy !req
368. I didn't know
where else to turn!Copy !req
369. Patrick couldn't
help meCopy !req
370. and Mrs. Puff
only made it worse!Copy !req
371. I sit next to your son
Flats in schoolCopy !req
372. and he is a fine boy
and allCopy !req
373. and I don't want you
to take this the wrong wayCopy !req
374. but he wants
to kick my butt.Copy !req
375. Dad, what
are you doing?Copy !req
376. Uh, nothing, son.Copy !req
377. What did I tell youCopy !req
378. about talking
to strangers?Copy !req
379. Now he's going
to kick mybutt.Copy !req
380. Aah...!Copy !req
381. Out of my way! Out of my way!Copy !req
382. Can't you see
he's going to kick my butt?Copy !req
383. Hi there, young people!Copy !req
384. Nice day today.Copy !req
385. So you like kickin'
butts, do ya?Copy !req
386. Well, we'll show you,
old man.Copy !req
387. Okay, okay,
I got to skip town!Copy !req
388. Start a new life!
Live under an assumed name!Copy !req
389. BobPants SpongeSquare!
Yeah, that's good.Copy !req
390. Grow a beard
and then shave it off...Copy !req
391. and live happily ever after.Copy !req
392. Yeah, except
you forgot the partCopy !req
393. where I kick your butt!Copy !req
394. Whoa...!Copy !req
395. Hey, Flats.Copy !req
396. You feeling better?Copy !req
397. Wh-wh-hat? Where am I?Copy !req
398. Why, you're
in the hospital.Copy !req
399. This young boy
saved your life.Copy !req
400. He performed CPR
for five hours straight.Copy !req
401. Yeah... they said you'd be okay
after the first few minutesCopy !req
402. but I just wanted to be sure.Copy !req
403. Wow! I'm touched.Copy !req
404. I'll have to remember that
when I'm kicking your butt.Copy !req
405. Those flowers for me?Copy !req
406. Aah...!Copy !req
407. He's still gonna kick my butt!Copy !req
408. How many times
do we have toCopy !req
409. teach you this
lesson, old man?Copy !req
410. I love the young people.Copy !req
411. Aah...!Copy !req
412. Oh Gary! I'm too young
to have my butt kicked.Copy !req
413. There are so many things in life
that I haven't gotten to do!Copy !req
414. Hang on...
I'll transfer your call.Copy !req
415. Who is it?Copy !req
416. Aah...! Flats!Copy !req
417. It's butt-kicking time.Copy !req
418. Gary, there's something
I want you to know.Copy !req
419. but I'm too scared
to remember what it is.Copy !req
420. Let's do it.Copy !req
421. Go away, Gary.Copy !req
422. I don't want you to see this,
it'll be ugly.Copy !req
423. Are you ready?Copy !req
424. Hold on.Copy !req
425. Okay, I'm ready.Copy !req
426. I said, I'm ready.Copy !req
427. Huh?Copy !req
428. Didn't you hear me?Copy !req
429. I said I'm ready.Copy !req
430. That tickled!Copy !req
431. Gary! I'm absorbing
his blowsCopy !req
432. like I was made of some
kind of spongy material!Copy !req
433. And do you know
what that means?Copy !req
434. I get to go
to work tomorrow!Copy !req
435. Do you have any sevens?Copy !req
436. Flats? Are you okay?Copy !req
437. Do not cheer me, my
fellow adult classmates.Copy !req
438. Flats was
the real victim here.Copy !req
439. A victim of a societyCopy !req
440. that's riding down
a violent road to nowhere...Copy !req
441. a road I call "Violence Road."Copy !req
442. Sorry I'm late, class.Copy !req
443. I...Copy !req
444. SpongeBob!Copy !req
445. I can't believe
you beat up a new student!Copy !req
446. MRS.
I'm going to kick your butt!Copy !req
447. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
448. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
449. Captioned byThe Caption Center
Educational Foundation]Copy !req