SpongeBob SquarePants 3x18

Directed by

This episode is a training video for new employees of the Krusty Krab. The video goes over the basics of being an employee, such as: good hygiene, clean work area, being a good employee, and dealing with the customer. And, of course, the unforgettable POOP session.

Request examples:

!req SpongeBob SquarePants 3x18 [02:32]
!req SpongeBob SquarePants 3x18 [SpongeBob SquarePants 3x18]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req SpongeBob SquarePants 3x18 [10-11]; !req SpongeBob SquarePants 3x18 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Are you ready, kids?

2. Aye, aye, Captain!

3. I can't hear you.

4. Aye, aye, Captain!

5. Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

6. and NICKELODEON

7. Oh, no, I lost my pen.

8. You can borrow mine.

9. Thanks.

10. I lost something once.

11. I lost something I couldn't live without—

12. my identity.

13. So anyway, thanks for the pen.

14. No problem, hon.

15. It all started last week— Monday morning to be exact—

16. the day I lost my identity.

17. I got to go.

18. Good morning, world, and all who inhabit it.

19. Awk! Gary, help! I can't see.

20. Gary!

21. Gary, are you there?

22. Gary? Gary, buddy?

23. I need you to be my eyes, okay?

24. Am I near the bathroom?

25. Gary? Gary? Gar?

26. Gary.

27. Now that my horrific incident of terror is over

28. how 'bout some breakfast?

29. Enjoy, buddy.

30. Mmm. You know, I've been feeding this to Gary for years

31. and I don't even know what it tastes like.

32. Bleah!

33. Bleah!

34. Bleah!

35. What is it, Peterson?

36. I'm not sure.

37. I feel... a disturbance.

38. That was the worst thing I've ever tasted.

39. Oh, well, at least I'll never have to do it again.

40. Barnacles!

41. All these shenanigans made me late for work.

42. Uh-oh.

43. All right.

44. Hi, SpongeBob.

45. Hi, Patrick.

46. Wait a minute.

47. When exactly did you lose your identity?

48. Yeah, and who's Patrick?

49. Why did you eat Snail-Po?

50. Have patience, good people.

51. A great story can't be rushed.

52. However, I willskip ahead to The Krusty Krab.

53. Order up!

54. One Krabby Patty, grilled with the fiery warmth

55. of my beating heart. Enjoy.

56. Thanks.

57. Uh...

58. Oh.

59. Is there a problem?

60. Well, you really should be wearing a name tag

61. so I can thank you properly.

62. While it is against my philosophy

63. to disagree with a customer

64. I must point out that I am, in fact, wearing a name tag...

65. right here.

66. Huh?

67. Uh... SpongeBob.

68. Oh, Squidward, it's terrible.

69. It's the most terrible thing that's ever happened to me.

70. I lost my name tag.

71. Pourquoi?

72. SpongeBob, take it easy.

73. I'm sure you can get a new one.

74. But I don't want a new one, Squidward.

75. My name tag is out there somewhere.

76. Lost... Hungry...

77. Who will help it?

78. What if someone's using it?

79. All right, nobody move!

80. This is a bank robbery!

81. Attica!

82. I'm innocent, I tell ya.

83. Wow... Ooh...

84. Squidward, what happened?

85. Huh? Oh, you fainted

86. because you lost your name tag or something.

87. Huh?

88. SpongeBob, will you get ahold of yourself?

89. Since when is losing your name tag

90. the end of the world?

91. Attention, all employees!

92. Just a quick heads-up, boys.

93. There's going to be a surprise uniform inspection

94. in one hour.

95. Anyone who doesn't pass, gets the boot.

96. This boot, to be exact.

97. It's very stinky

98. and you have to wear it all day.

99. See you in an hour.

100. SpongeBob, if you really want

101. to find your name tag, just retrace your steps.

102. Retrace my steps?

103. Squidward, you're a genius.

104. Huh. Huh. A genius.

105. Well, I don't know about that, but...

106. Cover me till I get back, okay?

107. Oh, sure, sure.

108. A genius. Well, how about... Hey!

109. Let's see.

110. If I'm going to retrace my steps

111. I got to remember everything I did this morning.

112. Hi, SpongeBob.

113. Oh, hi, Patrick.

114. You said hi to me this morning, right?

115. As I do every morning.

116. Well, I need you to do it again.

117. That wasn't part of the deal, Squarepants.

118. Patrick, what are you talking about?

119. My hellos aren't just some tape recording

120. that you can rewind and play over and over.

121. They're special.

122. Patrick, this is an emergency.

123. I lost my name tag this morning

124. and I need to retrace my steps.

125. You lost your name tag?

126. Okay, Patrick, you know the plan, right?

127. I got it, I got it.

128. You're going to retrace your steps and when you walk by me

129. I say, "Hi," just like this morning.

130. Perfect!

131. Mm, I guess I should start with when I woke up.

132. I sure hope this works.

133. Good morning, world, and all who inhabit it.

134. Awk!

135. So far, so good.

136. I don't see my name tag up here.

137. Now that my horrific incident of terror is over

138. how 'bout some breakfast?

139. Bleah!

140. Okay. Next I just have to walk outside

141. and say hi to Patrick.

142. Patrick!

143. What?

144. You were supposed to say hi to me.

145. Hi.

146. Oh. All right, let's take it from the top.

147. Bye, SpongeBob.

148. Don't forget your line this time!

149. I won't.

150. Good morning, world and all who inhabit it.

151. Patrick, why didn't you say hi to me?

152. What's my motivation?

153. Forget the motivation.

154. Just say hi!

155. Hi, Patrick.

156. Wait! I'm Patrick.

157. I'm sorry. Sorry.

158. I'm sorry.

159. Let's try it again.

160. Bleah!

161. Hi, SpongeBoob.

162. SpongeBoob?

163. I-I said— ha-ha!

164. Who's SpongeBoob?

165. I said SpongeBoob!

166. Again, again. Sorry, people.

167. I got the giggles.

168. Oh, what's the use?

169. I'll never find my name tag in time for inspection.

170. Well, what did you do

171. after I said hi to you this morning?

172. Hmm. Let's see.

173. I skipped merrily to The Krusty Krab.

174. Said hello to old man Jenkins.

175. Hi, Mr. J.

176. Placed an apple on Mr. Krabs's desk

177. and that's about it.

178. Oh, and these two guys threw me in the dumpster.

179. Yi-yi-yi.

180. Good one, guys!

181. Whoa!

182. That's it!

183. Your name tag is in the apple

184. on Mr. Krabs' desk.

185. Patrick, you're a genius.

186. Oh, wait, he's probably thrown it away by now.

187. Well, then, we'll look in the dumpster.

188. What is that stench?

189. That is the stench of discovery.

190. Come on, buddy, I'll give you a boost.

191. Hop on, pal.

192. Yup-ho!

193. Hey, it's not so bad, once you get used to it.

194. I wish I had a nose.

195. Come on in, buddy, the garbage is fine.

196. Cannonball!

197. You look over there

198. and I'll look over here.

199. Okay.

200. Patrick.

201. I'm looking, I'm looking.

202. Patrick.

203. Patrick!

204. I'm looking as fast as I can.

205. Patrick!

206. Thank you.

207. Here, let me get that.

208. Hey, look— a Stingray 5000 single.

209. Hey, these guys rock!

210. Why would anybody throw this away?

211. Have you forgotten what we're looking for

212. knee deep in yesterday's Top 40 songs?

213. Yes.

214. I'll give you a hint: Two words.

215. First word, "my."

216. Second word, "name tag."

217. Could I have another hint?

218. Patrick, I would love to sit here

219. and play "20 Questions" with you

220. but I've only got one minute till inspection.

221. Aah! One minute?

222. Hurry, Patrick!

223. We don't have much time.

224. Hey, SpongeBob.

225. Not now, Patrick.

226. I know where your name tag is.

227. Where? Where?

228. Uh...

229. I can't remember.

230. Patrick, I don't have time for this.

231. There it is!

232. Where?

233. Uh. I forgot again.

234. Patrick, are you with me or against me?

235. Well, could you give me a hint?

236. There! I see it!

237. Yeah, yeah, yeah— the boy who cried, "Name tag."

238. If you're not going to help me

239. then just go crawl back under your rock.

240. Well, at least I don't wear my shirt backwards.

241. My shirt backward? What the...?

242. My shirt's on backwards!

243. I had my identity all along.

244. Oh, and just in time.

245. Thanks, Patrick.

246. Don't mention it, buddy.

247. Fall in for inspection!

248. All right, you two.

249. Hat and uniform seem to be in order.

250. Hmm...

251. Promise me you'll shave tonight and you pass.

252. Hoo-rah.

253. Okay, boy, your turn.

254. I think you'll find everything ship-shape.

255. Jumping jellyfish, what's that stench?

256. Uh, discovery?

257. And that's how I got my identity back.

258. Welp, that's my story.

259. Well, you managed to kill 11 minutes.

260. Thanks, uh...

261. Betty.

262. What? Oh, sweetie, I'm not Betty.

263. I just borrowed her uniform while mine's at the cleaners.

264. Ah, The Krusty Krab

265. home of the delicious Krabby Patty

266. and its super-secret recipe.

267. Attention, Krusty Krab crew!

268. All hands report immediately!

269. Fry Cook SpongeBob reporting, sir!

270. What's all the yelling about?

271. Today is the 25th anniversary

272. of the first time me archenemy Plankton

273. ever tried to steal me secret

274. Krabby Patty formula.

275. Can I have the secret formula?

276. No! Okay.

277. But he was persistent.

278. Pretty please? Uh-huh.

279. He used disguise...

280. super-science...

281. civil disobedience...

282. and I always came out on top.

283. Fascinating.

284. But thousands of failures have made him crafty

285. so keep your eyes open.

286. You never know what trick he'll use

287. to steal me secret Krabby Patty formula.

288. What a quaint restaurant.

289. I think I will sample their wares.

290. Ooh, how weird—

291. a machine made to look like a customer.

292. SpongeBob, why don't you go hose out the men's room.

293. With pleasure, sir!

294. I'lltake this one.

295. Welcome to The Krusty Krab, sir.

296. May I help you?

297. Yes, please.

298. I'd like an order of chili coral bits.

299. You sure you don't want a Krabby Patty?

300. No, thank you.

301. Will this cover it?

302. Uh... sure.

303. Here you go.

304. Good day.

305. Hm. I was sure it was one of Plankton's tricks.

306. Well, at least his money's good.

307. Aha!

308. Plankton! You knew I would never distrust a dollar!

309. That's right, Krabs.

310. Now, hand over the secret Krabby Patty formula!

311. Or what?

312. I don't know.

313. I never thought I'd get this far.

314. Well, then, allow me to suggest your next move.

315. Yowww!

316. Curse you, Krabs!

317. And now for the chaser.

318. You just wait, Krabs!

319. Next time I'll...

320. Who am I kidding?

321. At least I can go home to a wife who understands.

322. So, tell me what happened.

323. I don't want to talk about it.

324. Talking will make you feel better.

325. Leave me alone.

326. That's your problem— you never let anyone in.

327. Plankton the rock, Plankton the loner.

328. And she's off, ladies and gentlemen.

329. You have to do everything yourself.

330. That's why everything you try ends up like this.

331. And like this.

332. And more recently, like this.

333. I'm a failure!

334. It's not that bad.

335. You just require a little help.

336. Maybe some henchmen.

337. Henchmen?

338. Yes. What you need to do

339. is surround yourself with muscular tough guys

340. who will do whatever you say.

341. I like the sound of that.

342. I'll canvass all the seediest lowbrow dives in town

343. to find my minions.

344. And I know just how to speak their language.

345. Felicitations, malefactors!

346. I am endeavoring to misappropriate

347. the formulary for the preparation

348. of affordable comestibles.

349. Who will join me?

350. I don't get it— no matter what I do

351. I always end up being squashed by someone bigger than me.

352. Oh, come on.

353. I think you're overreacting.

354. Sorry.

355. That's okay— I'm no different

356. than the millions of other plankton in the sea.

357. The plankton family

358. has always been pushed around and stepped on.

359. Wait. That's it.

360. Acting alone, we're powerless

361. but united, the plankton family

362. could be a real pain in the belly!

363. Krabs may think one plankton is no problem

364. but let's see him take on two

365. or ten

366. or 100

367. or 1,000!

368. And why stop there?

369. I'll gather every family member from every corner of the ocean.

370. The entire plankton family

371. under one roof!

372. Krabs won't stand a chance

373. against the staggering intellect

374. of a million super-smart criminal masterminds!

375. They're here!

376. Welcome, brethren!

377. Hey, look here, buddy— it's Cousin Plankton!

378. Yee-haw!

379. I've been away from home longer than I thought.

380. Well, howdy, cousin!

381. Guh...

382. It's me, Clem.

383. Of course, you remember Zeke

384. Rufus, Jete, Billy Bob, Billy Jim

385. Billy Billy Bo Willy Banana Fana Fo Filly

386. Doug, Enos...

387. Julio, Fletcher McGee, Rainchild...

388. All right, I get it!

389. I mean, uh, come inside, make yourself at home.

390. I'd like you to meet my computer wife, Karen.

391. Golly, she sure is pretty, Sheldon.

392. Sheldon?

393. Yes, that's my first name.

394. Sheldon? Will you please...?

395. I'm sorry. All right

396. [ laughter continues]as I was saying...

397. Okay, we all know Sheldon's a funny name.

398. O-ho-kay. Okay, I'm done.

399. No more. Good.

400. To continue.

401. Only you can bring honor...

402. and dignity...

403. back to the plankton...

404. For years, it has been my goal

405. to acquire the secret formula for...

406. Okay, that's enough!

407. Sheldon! Ha...

408. Bottom line: we invade The Krusty Krab

409. so I can steal the secret formula.

410. What do you think?

411. Uh, what's in it for us?

412. Hey, what about us?

413. Well, what do you want?

414. Garsh! Could I get a new string for my banjo?

415. And another boot to match this 'un?

416. And some more memory for my laptop?

417. What about root beer?

418. Root beer?

419. Help me get the secret formula

420. and you can have as much root beer as you can drink.

421. Victory, thy name is plankton!

422. Well, Mr. Squidward

423. it's almost closing time, and we haven't seen

424. eye or antenna of old Plankton for hours.

425. Yes, sir, I think this time, he's finally given up...

426. Attention, Krusty Krab management.

427. This is your better speaking.

428. What?

429. I have the restaurant surrounded.

430. Give me the secret formula

431. or I'll destroy The Krusty Krab.

432. Eh, you and what army, bug?

433. What army?

434. What army?

435. Look around you, Krabs.

436. You planted grass?

437. Grass?

438. Uh-oh.

439. You'll never get away with it, Plankton!

440. You're right— the pipes are much too narrow.

441. Besides, what I really want is the Krabby Patty formula.

442. Well, you might as well forget it!

443. The formula is locked away in me safe

444. and I'll never give you the combination.

445. Silence!

446. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

447. I think you'll find we're more than capable

448. of figuring it out for ourselves.

449. Oh, boys?

450. That's it— a little to the left.

451. Curse you plankton

452. and your ability to join together

453. to form a working human ear.

454. Hot dog!

455. Yes!

456. It's mine! The formula's mine!

457. After all these years, it's finally mine!

458. Let it be known that on this day

459. I, Sheldon J. Plankton

460. single-handedly overthrew The Krusty Krab!

461. Ahem!

462. A-And if course, I had a little help from the family.

463. Plankton, wait! You can't look at the formula!

464. Begging won't help.

465. I'm telling you, you won't be able to handle the truth.

466. There's some things in this world

467. that weren't meant for mortal eyes.

468. Eye.

469. Eye.

470. I don't care.

471. Drumroll, please!

472. Finally, after all these years

473. I'm about to find out what makes a Krabby Patty taste so good.

474. The secret recipe for one Krabby Patty is...

475. "A pinch of salt..."

476. Plankton, wait!

477. "... three teaspoons of chopped onions..."

478. I'm warning you.

479. "... a cup of love..."

480. Don't do it!

481. "... mixed together

482. "with the most important ingredient of all—

483. "four heaping pounds of freshly ground...

484. plankton"?

485. I warned you.

486. Hey, why ain't you running?

487. Well, I can't read.

488. Get out of here.

489. Hyuh, hyuh, hyuh, hyuh.

490. Hey, guys. Did I miss anything?

491. Mr. Krabs, is this really the secret ingredient

492. for the Krabby Patty?

493. Of course not.

494. And Plankton'll probably figure that out

495. and be back again to find out what the real formula is.

496. But don't worry, boys—

497. the formula's safe from harm.

498. I got it hidden in me most secret hiding place—

499. a place no one, not even Plankton, would ever figure out.

500. Let me guess— it's at home under your mattress.

501. Curse you, Squidward!

502. Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

503. and NICKELODEON