1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
6. and NICKELODEON]Copy !req
7. And now it's time for...Copy !req
8. hosted by SpongeBob's number
one fan, Patchy the Pirate.Copy !req
9. Ahoy, fellow fanatics!Copy !req
10. Welcome to Patchy's Pick.Copy !req
11. Come on back to the galley.Copy !req
12. I'm cooking up a real treat
for you today.Copy !req
13. We're going to see me
favorite show, "Shanghaied."Copy !req
14. Ta-dah!Copy !req
15. Boring!Copy !req
16. If it isn't my
less-than-amusing
sidekickCopy !req
17. Potty the Parrot.Copy !req
18. Potty, say hello
to the nice people.Copy !req
19. I'm being held here
against my will— help!Copy !req
20. Arrgh!Copy !req
21. Potty, come back!Copy !req
22. Potty?Copy !req
23. Potty!Copy !req
24. Where'd you go?Copy !req
25. Potty, you in there, buddy?Copy !req
26. Potty!Copy !req
27. Potty!Copy !req
28. Get me out of here!Copy !req
29. Well, roll the cartoon.Copy !req
30. Mm, Kelpo...Copy !req
31. "With one of eight
essential prizes inside!"Copy !req
32. Holy Shrimp!Copy !req
33. Squidward!Copy !req
34. The sky had a baby
from my cereal box.Copy !req
35. Squidward!Copy !req
36. Squidward!
The sky had a baby!Copy !req
37. That's a giant anchor—
now, go away!Copy !req
38. Hey,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
39. The sky had a baby.Copy !req
40. I know.Copy !req
41. What should we name it?Copy !req
42. How about...Copy !req
43. Why don't you two
go climb its anchor rope?Copy !req
44. I'm sure it goes somewhere
far away.Copy !req
45. Now look what you've done.Copy !req
46. We didn't do it.Copy !req
47. Our hands are clean.Copy !req
48. Clean.Copy !req
49. Well, I'm going to get
to the bottom of this thing.Copy !req
50. Isn't that the top?Copy !req
51. Squid, wait! Squid!Copy !req
52. Ship!Copy !req
53. You are in your
little fantasy world.Copy !req
54. No, look— a giant ship.Copy !req
55. Great, let's go.Copy !req
56. I can give this
anchor-dropper a
piece of my mind.Copy !req
57. I don't know, Squidward.Copy !req
58. That ship has a spooky
green glow around it.Copy !req
59. Probably because
its owner is too
lazy to cleanCopy !req
60. or drop his anchors
in the right place.Copy !req
61. Squid, wait.Copy !req
62. All right, who owns this crate?Copy !req
63. Come on out, I want
to file a complaint.Copy !req
64. Doesn't this place
seem familiar?Copy !req
65. I don't know— why?Copy !req
66. Doesn't it just ring a bell?Copy !req
67. Yes.Copy !req
68. I know who owns
this boat.Copy !req
69. I just can't place
the name.Copy !req
70. No, no, it's not...Copy !req
71. I am the Flying Dutchman.Copy !req
72. That's it!Copy !req
73. This ship belongs
to the Red Baron.Copy !req
74. Who be disturbing
the Flying Dutchman
in his own lair?Copy !req
75. Squidward wants
to complain to you.Copy !req
76. I... No, I...
I don't.Copy !req
77. What about all that stuff
about his ship being dirty?Copy !req
78. I never said that.Copy !req
79. Insulting a man's ship be worse
than insulting his mother.Copy !req
80. Wait— it washis mother
you said was dirty,
not his ship.Copy !req
81. Ow.Copy !req
82. You're next.Copy !req
83. That was a close one.Copy !req
84. Welcome back.Copy !req
85. That was
a closer one.Copy !req
86. Welcome back.Copy !req
87. Hey, how come when they act upCopy !req
88. all they get
is the welcome wagon?Copy !req
89. If you ask me, it's...Copy !req
90. So are you going
to try that again?Copy !req
91. Probably.Copy !req
92. How about now?Copy !req
93. No, no,
they're not.Copy !req
94. Now listen.Copy !req
95. "Whosoever sets foot
on the Flying Dutchman's shipCopy !req
96. "uninvited or otherwiseCopy !req
97. "shall become members
of his ghostly crew forever...Copy !req
98. and, uh... ever."Copy !req
99. Will we be getting
business cards?Copy !req
100. Silence!Copy !req
101. You're part
of my crew nowCopy !req
102. and our job is
to sail around and
frighten people.Copy !req
103. It'll be grueling,
mind-numbing and repetitive.Copy !req
104. Just like... daytime television.Copy !req
105. Now, you listen
here, Mister.Copy !req
106. If you think
I'm going to spendCopy !req
107. more than five minutes
on this dumpsterCopy !req
108. then you're crazy.Copy !req
109. I mean, look at this place.Copy !req
110. It's disgusting.Copy !req
111. Whoever told you
that hanging oil lampsCopy !req
112. next to hardwood paneling
was a good idea...Copy !req
113. I suppose you're going
to show me...Copy !req
114. Oh, that's very nice.Copy !req
115. Oh, is this some kind
of magic act?Copy !req
116. Would anyone else
like to enter the
Fly of Despair?Copy !req
117. No, we know
our place now,
Mr. Dutchman.Copy !req
118. We'll do
anything you say.Copy !req
119. Then for starters,
you can swab the deck.Copy !req
120. Look, Patrick, a real,
live ghost mop.Copy !req
121. And I got this hat.Copy !req
122. Listen!Copy !req
123. We're going
to Bikini Bottom tonightCopy !req
124. for a little haunting spreeCopy !req
125. so I want this ship
to look good and scary.Copy !req
126. You mean you want it
to look good... and scary.Copy !req
127. Well, I think
we could probably...Copy !req
128. No, no, he means
he wants it to look
so good that it's scary.Copy !req
129. Or maybe that
by looking so scaryCopy !req
130. you forget that
it doesn't look good.Copy !req
131. I don't get it.Copy !req
132. Look, it's easy...Copy !req
133. Never mind
what it means!Copy !req
134. I just want it
to look scary!Copy !req
135. That's it!Copy !req
136. You know, mold growing
on the ceilingsCopy !req
137. bugs in the sink.Copy !req
138. So you don't want it
to look good?Copy !req
139. Get moving!Copy !req
140. What a night be this.Copy !req
141. Crew, howl with me
so that we might set
the seven seasCopy !req
142. ablaze with fear!Copy !req
143. Eh, that'll do.Copy !req
144. Okay, square one.Copy !req
145. Since pink one's working
the navigationCopy !req
146. it's up to you to find
our first victim.Copy !req
147. Here, use this spyglass.Copy !req
148. Now, hurry up—
we're burning moonlight.Copy !req
149. Let's see who we can find.Copy !req
150. Captain, there's a guy
we can scare.Copy !req
151. I had four biscuits,
and I ate one.Copy !req
152. Then I only had three.Copy !req
153. Ah... it does me heart goodCopy !req
154. to see children out
after dark.Copy !req
155. Pink one, take us
behind those rocks.Copy !req
156. Moving behind the rocks!Copy !req
157. Keep going!Copy !req
158. You're good, you're good.Copy !req
159. You're good.Copy !req
160. And... stop.Copy !req
161. We'll buff out those scratches.Copy !req
162. All right,
never mind it.Copy !req
163. Just jump out
when I give the signal.Copy !req
164. Boo!Copy !req
165. Prepare to be burdened
with the haunting memoryCopy !req
166. of my ghostly ghost pirates.Copy !req
167. Was that the signal?Copy !req
168. Okay, sorry, sorry.Copy !req
169. Just do it again!Copy !req
170. With the haunting memory
of my ghostly ghost pirates!Copy !req
171. How does he do that?Copy !req
172. Get back on the ship.Copy !req
173. It's still a mystery.Copy !req
174. Those guys
are dorks.Copy !req
175. Yes, but they're my dorks.Copy !req
176. You're good,
you're good.Copy !req
177. You're good.Copy !req
178. Huh?Copy !req
179. You're good,
you're good.Copy !req
180. You're good.Copy !req
181. You're good,
you're good.Copy !req
182. You're good.Copy !req
183. Why did the Dutchman
ask us to wait in
our bunk room?Copy !req
184. Maybe he's going
to give us a reward.Copy !req
185. Like movie passes?Copy !req
186. Or an oversized
coffee mug!Copy !req
187. I've been thinking.Copy !req
188. Stop bouncing!Copy !req
189. This whole "crew for eternity"
thing isn't working out.Copy !req
190. It's not really you,
so much as it is me.Copy !req
191. You're setting us free?Copy !req
192. Well, actually,
I'm just going to eat you.Copy !req
193. See you at dinner.Copy !req
194. Wait.Copy !req
195. I have an idea.Copy !req
196. Really? What is it?Copy !req
197. Let's leave.Copy !req
198. But the door
is locked.Copy !req
199. And the only way out
is through the...Copy !req
200. perfume department!Copy !req
201. Let's do it.Copy !req
202. Blah!Copy !req
203. I always hate going
in there.Copy !req
204. Yeah.Copy !req
205. Wait, listen!Copy !req
206. Dear Diary...Copy !req
207. I've told them
I'm going to eat them tomorrow.Copy !req
208. I made up some
of that brown sauceCopy !req
209. my cousin showed me
just for the occasion.Copy !req
210. It's a good thing
I found my dining sock again.Copy !req
211. Remember the last time
I lost me dining sock?Copy !req
212. I couldn't eat for a whole week.Copy !req
213. Sure, sometimes I wonder
how I survive.Copy !req
214. If anything should
ever happen...Copy !req
215. Ahh!Copy !req
216. Give me back my sock!Copy !req
217. Everyone knows
I can't eat without it!Copy !req
218. Never!Copy !req
219. Okay, then!Copy !req
220. Uh, oh,
give it to me!Copy !req
221. No!Copy !req
222. You're stretching
the elastic!Copy !req
223. It would seem
we have reached
an impasse.Copy !req
224. Pink one is right.Copy !req
225. Tell you what—Copy !req
226. you give me back the sock and
I'll give you... three wishes.Copy !req
227. Make it five.Copy !req
228. Four.Copy !req
229. Three.Copy !req
230. Take it or leave it.Copy !req
231. Okay, uh, three.Copy !req
232. You get three wishes.Copy !req
233. Wow! Three wishes,
Pat.Copy !req
234. Isn't that great?Copy !req
235. Wishes... I wish
we had known that earlier.Copy !req
236. Okay, you got
two wishes left.Copy !req
237. Well, we still
have two more.Copy !req
238. How exciting!Copy !req
239. I wish Squidward were here
to see this.Copy !req
240. Ahh!Copy !req
241. Boy, I'm glad all that's over.Copy !req
242. Squidward, you're back!Copy !req
243. Guess what.Copy !req
244. The Dutchman gave us
three wishes!Copy !req
245. Patrick used the first oneCopy !req
246. and I guess I...
just used the second one.Copy !req
247. Well, then the last one
you owe meCopy !req
248. because you got me back
into this mess!Copy !req
249. Wait, I think
it belongs to me!Copy !req
250. That's enough!Copy !req
251. Using my mystic
otherworldly powersCopy !req
252. I shall decide
who gets the last wish.Copy !req
253. Eenie-meenie-minie-mo,
catch a sailor by the toe.Copy !req
254. If he hollers, let him go.Copy !req
255. My mother told me
to pick the very best oneCopy !req
256. and you are it!Copy !req
257. Our fate, SpongeBob!Copy !req
258. We're about
to get eaten!Copy !req
259. What can you wish forCopy !req
260. to make it so
we don't get eaten?Copy !req
261. Don't worry,
Squidward.Copy !req
262. I've got it
all figured out.Copy !req
263. He won't be able
to eat usCopy !req
264. because I wish
that the DutchmanCopy !req
265. was a vegetarian!Copy !req
266. Hooray!Copy !req
267. We're home!Copy !req
268. You did it,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
269. We're safe!Copy !req
270. But why have we
been turned into fruits?Copy !req
271. Hey, I get
a wish, too.Copy !req
272. Fruit prevents scurvy.Copy !req
273. Ahh!Copy !req
274. Hey, get back here
with that!Copy !req
275. I'll get you!Copy !req
276. Ahoy, children— I'm back!Copy !req
277. I hope all you boys and girls
enjoyed the showCopy !req
278. because it's time for you
to walk the plank.Copy !req
279. Oh, sorry, kids.Copy !req
280. What I meant to say was,
"It's time for fan mail."Copy !req
281. Hooray!Copy !req
282. And now the moment
you've all been waiting for!Copy !req
283. So get ready
to blow milk out your noseCopy !req
284. because we're going
to open a letter!Copy !req
285. The envelope please,
Potty.Copy !req
286. Thank you, my fine,
feathered assistant.Copy !req
287. You're not welcome.Copy !req
288. Hey, Potty,
you smell something?Copy !req
289. Ah! Potty, that fuse
in your head!Copy !req
290. I told you we're
not doing that stunt!Copy !req
291. I didn't get the memo!Copy !req
292. Well, that's it
for Patchy's Pick.Copy !req
293. Hooray!Copy !req
294. Gary, looks like it's
that time of week again.Copy !req
295. Bath time!Copy !req
296. Come on, let's go get
the water started.Copy !req
297. You're going to have
to get in that tub, Gary.Copy !req
298. Now, Gary, we can do this
the hard way or the easy way.Copy !req
299. Or the medium way.Copy !req
300. Or the semi-medium-
easy-hard way.Copy !req
301. Or the sort of hardCopy !req
302. with a touch of awkward-easy,
difficult-challenging way.Copy !req
303. So that's how you want
to play it, huh?Copy !req
304. Gary, check out
this new toy.Copy !req
305. Fetch!Copy !req
306. Huh?Copy !req
307. "New Boomerang Pet Ball—
Really works."Copy !req
308. Aye!Copy !req
309. Gary, there's a bomb strapped
to my chest!Copy !req
310. It's going to explode
in three secondsCopy !req
311. unless you take a bath!Copy !req
312. Please.Copy !req
313. I am now going
to assault your mindCopy !req
314. with subliminal messages.Copy !req
315. Sorry you had
to see that.Copy !req
316. Hello, fancy
French restaurant...Copy !req
317. I've got
a naughty snail hereCopy !req
318. who won't take a bath.Copy !req
319. What?Copy !req
320. Could you say
that again?Copy !req
321. Slow down!Copy !req
322. It's like you're speaking
some other language.Copy !req
323. Hey, Gar,
how about some leapfrog?Copy !req
324. Whee-hee!Copy !req
325. Okay, your turn.Copy !req
326. Hey, Gar,
how about some leapfrog?Copy !req
327. I've got a crisp
dollar bill for
the next fellaCopy !req
328. to take a bath
in this house!Copy !req
329. That didn't
work either, huh?Copy !req
330. Gary! Gary! Gary!Copy !req
331. Look what I found!Copy !req
332. It's an old pirate
treasure map
revealing the locationCopy !req
333. of buried pirate
treasureCopy !req
334. in this very house.Copy !req
335. Come on, boy, let's
go get that treasure!Copy !req
336. Whoo!Copy !req
337. Okay, Gary.Copy !req
338. Now, 40 paces to the left.Copy !req
339. One, two, three,
four, five, sixCopy !req
340. seven, eight,
nine, ten...Copy !req
341. 24, 25, 26, 27... 40.Copy !req
342. The treasure
must be in here.Copy !req
343. Wow, Gary, look!Copy !req
344. A pirate treasure chest!Copy !req
345. Meow.Copy !req
346. Why, no, Gary,
this isn't the bathtub.Copy !req
347. It's treasure!Copy !req
348. Look— doubloons.Copy !req
349. Don't drop them.Copy !req
350. Look at this brooch!Copy !req
351. Meow.Copy !req
352. I don't know what a snail
wants with a brooch!Copy !req
353. Now, why don't you
just get in the tub?Copy !req
354. Get in the tub!Copy !req
355. Get in the tub!Copy !req
356. Get in the tub!Copy !req
357. In the tub!Copy !req
358. In the tub!Copy !req
359. Now, Gary, are you going
to get in this tubCopy !req
360. or am I going
to have to...Copy !req
361. Gary, uh... could you, uh...Copy !req
362. Gary, no!Copy !req
363. Gary!Copy !req
364. All right, Gary.Copy !req
365. You have duped and/or
frustrated me for the last time!Copy !req
366. So if I can't get you
to come to the bathCopy !req
367. I'll just have to bring the bath
to you.Copy !req
368. Psst... Gary...Copy !req
369. Bath delivery.Copy !req
370. Come back, Gary.Copy !req
371. I have something
to share with you.Copy !req
372. This is more like it.Copy !req
373. Meow.Copy !req
374. What are you waiting for, Gary?Copy !req
375. Meow, meow, meow.Copy !req
376. Oh, stuck in a tree?Copy !req
377. Meow, meow, meow.Copy !req
378. It's time
to clean up your act, Gary.Copy !req
379. Meow, meow, meow...Copy !req
380. Oh, no!Copy !req
381. I bathed Gary too hard
and removed his skin.Copy !req
382. Meow, meow, meow, meow.Copy !req
383. Gary!Copy !req
384. Bring that ladder back
this instant!Copy !req
385. I am not amused, mister.Copy !req
386. You're going to take a bath and
you're going to get clean now!Copy !req
387. Meow.Copy !req
388. I am sothe boss of you.Copy !req
389. Meow.Copy !req
390. It's a free countryCopy !req
391. but you live in my house,
under my rules.Copy !req
392. Meow.Copy !req
393. Don't use that tone with me.Copy !req
394. You will do what I say,
when I say!Copy !req
395. What are you doing?Copy !req
396. I am talking to you, Mister.Copy !req
397. Do not go near that mud puddle!Copy !req
398. Gary, do you hear me?Copy !req
399. I am giving you
three secondsCopy !req
400. to get a away
from that mud puddle.Copy !req
401. One, two,
two and a half...Copy !req
402. Don't make me say three.Copy !req
403. Gary!Copy !req
404. Gary! Gary!Copy !req
405. Gary!Copy !req
406. I'm a dirty boy.Copy !req
407. Meow.Copy !req
408. Yeah, yeah, Gary, I'm
getting behind my ears.Copy !req
409. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
410. and NICKELODEON]Copy !req