1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. and NICKELODEON]Copy !req
6. The new adventures
of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy!Copy !req
7. We join Bikini Bottom's noblest,
boldest... oldest superheroesCopy !req
8. as they bravely prepare
for vacation.Copy !req
9. But wait!Copy !req
10. While our heroes relax
at Leisure VillageCopy !req
11. who will watch the Mermalair?Copy !req
12. ManSponge!Copy !req
13. And BoyPatrick!Copy !req
14. Reporting for duty!Copy !req
15. Yeah, yeah,
follow me.Copy !req
16. Up, up and away!Copy !req
17. Evil!Copy !req
18. Now, we want you boysCopy !req
19. to keep an eye
on the place.Copy !req
20. Water the plants
and make sure...Copy !req
21. Oh, my gosh,
Patrick!Copy !req
22. This is the greatest wallCopy !req
23. of superhero
secret gadgetry ever!Copy !req
24. I get the Cosmic Ray!Copy !req
25. I get the Aquaglove!Copy !req
26. Hold on there, boys!Copy !req
27. You cannot play
with this stuff.Copy !req
28. What about the Orb of Confusion?Copy !req
29. No, no!Copy !req
30. Prolonged exposure to
the Orb of ConfusionCopy !req
31. will give you...
confusion!Copy !req
32. What about the
Invisible Boatmobile?Copy !req
33. Especially not the
Invisible Boatmobile!Copy !req
34. When we say,
"Don't touch anything"Copy !req
35. we mean, "Don't touch anything!"Copy !req
36. Do you understand?Copy !req
37. Loud and clear,
trusted boy companion!Copy !req
38. Ah, great.Copy !req
39. Here are
the keys.Copy !req
40. We'll see you in a week.Copy !req
41. Up, up and away!Copy !req
42. Come, BoyPatrick.Copy !req
43. While our heroes are away,
we will keep evil at bay!Copy !req
44. Huh?Copy !req
45. Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma...Copy !req
46. What is it,
trusted sidekick?Copy !req
47. Ma-ma-ma-ma,
ma-ma-ma-ma-ma...Copy !req
48. Ma-ma-ma-ma,
ma-ma-ma-ma-ma...Copy !req
49. Ma-ma-ma-ma,
ma-ma-ma-ma-ma!Copy !req
50. Ma-ma-ma-ma,
ma-ma-ma-ma-ma!Copy !req
51. Man Ray!Copy !req
52. Hey, SpongeBob, how come
he's not chasing us?Copy !req
53. Looks like he's frozen.Copy !req
54. Fr-fr-fr, fro-fro-fro...Copy !req
55. It appears to be some
sort of prison chamber...Copy !req
56. made out of frozen tartar sauce.Copy !req
57. This is incredible!Copy !req
58. Next to the Dirty BubbleCopy !req
59. the evil Man Ray is the all-time
greatest arch-nemesisCopy !req
60. of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy!Copy !req
61. I have so many questions
to ask him.Copy !req
62. We're not supposed
to touch anything!Copy !req
63. But you said
you had a question.Copy !req
64. We could get
in trouble!Copy !req
65. He said not
to touch anything!Copy !req
66. And that includes unfreezing
a supervillain!Copy !req
67. I'm free!Copy !req
68. Uh, actually,
Mr. uh... Man Ray, sirCopy !req
69. only your head is free.Copy !req
70. By the supreme authority
of wickednessCopy !req
71. I, the evil Man Ray,
command you to release meCopy !req
72. from this frozen prison at once!Copy !req
73. Well, uh,
Mr. evil Man Ray, sir,
we can't do that.Copy !req
74. Why... not?Copy !req
75. Because you're evil!Copy !req
76. You mean, if I was good,
then you'd let me go?Copy !req
77. Yeah, sure, why not?Copy !req
78. Then, uh... in that case,
I am good.Copy !req
79. Really?Copy !req
80. Yes, really.Copy !req
81. Really, really?Copy !req
82. Yes, yes, really, really.Copy !req
83. Really, really, really?Copy !req
84. Yes, yes, already,
I'm good, I'm good!Copy !req
85. Not let me out of hereCopy !req
86. or you'll suffer
dire consequences!Copy !req
87. Well, that's
good enough for me.Copy !req
88. You fools!Copy !req
89. Prepare to be eradicated!Copy !req
90. Ah, ooh...Copy !req
91. What's wrong
with me?Copy !req
92. What is this infernal
contraption?Copy !req
93. Don't play dumb,
Man Ray—Copy !req
94. you know that's
the Tickle BeltCopy !req
95. Mermaidman used on you
in episode number 17!Copy !req
96. As seen in episode 17!Copy !req
97. Oh, I love that episode.Copy !req
98. Oh, me, too,
me, too.Copy !req
99. I'll never get out of here
wearing this belt!Copy !req
100. I need an evil plan that will
trick them to take it off me.Copy !req
101. Time for those acting lessons
to pay off.Copy !req
102. Remember that part
when Mermaidman...Copy !req
103. Oh, sob, oh, cry!Copy !req
104. Oh, woe is me!Copy !req
105. You don't know what it's like
being evil for so long.Copy !req
106. Oh, how I wish to be... good.Copy !req
107. If only some kind heroes would
show me the path to decency.Copy !req
108. We could teach you
how to be goodCopy !req
109. and then we'll
let you go!Copy !req
110. Ah, that would be
fantastic!Copy !req
111. I'll fake my way
through thisCopy !req
112. just like I did
in high school.Copy !req
113. Okay, Man Ray,
are you readyCopy !req
114. for your first day
at goodness school?Copy !req
115. Pat, get your wallet out.Copy !req
116. Okay, goodness lesson
number one:Copy !req
117. You see someone drop
their wallet.Copy !req
118. Patrick, drop the wallet.Copy !req
119. Now, what would you do?Copy !req
120. Excuse me, sirCopy !req
121. but I do believe you've
dropped your wallet.Copy !req
122. Doesn't look familiar
to me.Copy !req
123. What?Copy !req
124. I just saw you drop it— here.Copy !req
125. Nope, it's not mine.Copy !req
126. It isyours.Copy !req
127. I... I'm trying to be
a good personCopy !req
128. and return it to you.Copy !req
129. Return what to who?Copy !req
130. Aren't you... Patrick Star?Copy !req
131. Yup.Copy !req
132. And this is your I.D.?Copy !req
133. Yup.I found this I.D.Copy !req
134. in this walletCopy !req
135. and if that's the case,
this must be your wallet.Copy !req
136. That makes sense to me.Copy !req
137. Then take it.Copy !req
138. It's not my wallet.Copy !req
139. Oh, you dim bulb!Copy !req
140. Take back your wallet
or I'll rip your arms off!Copy !req
141. Uh-uh, wrong...Copy !req
142. Good people don't ripCopy !req
143. other people's arms off.Copy !req
144. Oh, oh, stop!Copy !req
145. Okay, goodness lesson
number two.Copy !req
146. You see someone struggling
with a heavy package.Copy !req
147. What do you do?Copy !req
148. Hello, friend.Copy !req
149. I noticed you were struggling
with that package.Copy !req
150. Would you like
some help?Copy !req
151. Ow!Copy !req
152. Oops.Copy !req
153. Sorry, can I
start over?Copy !req
154. I noticed you were...Copy !req
155. Ow!Copy !req
156. Oops, got to
start again.Copy !req
157. Oops.Copy !req
158. You butter-fingered
pink thing!Copy !req
159. What's in that box,
anyhow?Copy !req
160. My wallets.Copy !req
161. Oh, SpongeBob,
tickle him!Copy !req
162. Ah, that tickles,
but it's worth it!Copy !req
163. All right, goodness lesson
number three.Copy !req
164. Uh... let's see...Copy !req
165. I've got one.Copy !req
166. I'm thinking of a number
between one and 100.Copy !req
167. What is it?Copy !req
168. Um... 62?Copy !req
169. Wrong!Copy !req
170. Stop, stop...Copy !req
171. Hey, PatrickCopy !req
172. that's not about
being good.Copy !req
173. Let go of it, SpongeBob!Copy !req
174. Pat, we can use it
only when he's bad.Copy !req
175. Let go! No, you let go!Copy !req
176. Frequency rising...Copy !req
177. belt out of control...Copy !req
178. Tickling my DNA...Copy !req
179. Make it stop!Copy !req
180. Please!Copy !req
181. Did you hear that,
Patrick?Copy !req
182. He said the "p" word.Copy !req
183. Peanuts?Copy !req
184. No, "please."Copy !req
185. Well, that's good enough
for me.Copy !req
186. I guess he's
reconstituted.Copy !req
187. Rehabilitated.Copy !req
188. Gesundheit.Copy !req
189. It's graduation day, Man Ray!Copy !req
190. This is the key to your future.Copy !req
191. Just look at him, Patrick,
the picture of goodness.Copy !req
192. We're not supposed
to touch that.Copy !req
193. Or that, either.Copy !req
194. We are really
not supposed
to touch those, sir.Copy !req
195. Good people haveCopy !req
196. no use for weapons...Copy !req
197. The only thing I'm good at
is being evil.Copy !req
198. So long, suckers!Copy !req
199. What's that smell,
SpongeBob?Copy !req
200. That, Patrick, is
the smell of defeat.Copy !req
201. Good, I thought it was
my skin.Copy !req
202. Forget about your skin,
Patrick!Copy !req
203. Man Ray is still bad and
someone has to stop him.Copy !req
204. This is a job
for Mermaidman...Copy !req
205. And Barnacleboy!Copy !req
206. To the Invisible
Boatmobile!Copy !req
207. Ignition... on!Copy !req
208. Wait— I don't have
a license!Copy !req
209. Well, this is
an invisible boat, right?Copy !req
210. So you need an
invisible license!Copy !req
211. You're the
best sidekick ever,
Barnacleboy.Copy !req
212. Thank goodness
for invisible seat belts!Copy !req
213. Out of my way, fools.Copy !req
214. You no longer
have control of meCopy !req
215. and now this town
belongs to Man Ray!Copy !req
216. Not so fast,
arch villain.Copy !req
217. We still have
the Orb of Confusion.Copy !req
218. Take this!Copy !req
219. Well, that was easy.Copy !req
220. All right, people!Copy !req
221. Everybody stand
right where you are.Copy !req
222. I want you to, uh...Copy !req
223. No, no, stop giggling,
or I'll have to...Copy !req
224. Stop laughing, you fools!Copy !req
225. What can I do
for you, sir?Copy !req
226. I'll tell you
what you can do!Copy !req
227. Give me all of your, uh...Copy !req
228. Give me, give me all of your...Copy !req
229. Give me...Copy !req
230. Ah! The belt is gone,
but I still feel its tickle.Copy !req
231. The urge to do bad is gone!Copy !req
232. I guess I'll just open
a checking account.Copy !req
233. Man Ray!Copy !req
234. No need to be alarmed,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
235. Your teachings have
transformed me.Copy !req
236. Besides... I have checks
with little poodles on them!Copy !req
237. I won't be
needing this
anymore.Copy !req
238. Farewell, fellow do-gooder.Copy !req
239. Bye, Man Ray!Copy !req
240. Wow, we did it—Copy !req
241. just like the real
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy!Copy !req
242. We saved the day!Copy !req
243. Isn't it incredible, Patrick?Copy !req
244. Patrick?Copy !req
245. Patrick, you knowCopy !req
246. that thing's
turned off, right?Copy !req
247. Patrick, yoo-hoo,
Patrick?Copy !req
248. Okay, everybody settle down.Copy !req
249. Welcome to the Komedy Krab!Copy !req
250. Now, please give a warm welcome
to our first comicCopy !req
251. the indiscernible
Doogie Williams.Copy !req
252. Good evening, folks.Copy !req
253. I'm going to skip the jokesCopy !req
254. and get right to the part
where I throw pies at you.Copy !req
255. I hope I do as good as that guy.Copy !req
256. Man, those people
will laugh at anything.Copy !req
257. Hey, don't
sweat it, kid.Copy !req
258. I got 'em all
warmed up for you.Copy !req
259. Put your fins together
for SpongeBob SquarePants!Copy !req
260. Go get 'em,
SpongeBob!Copy !req
261. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
262. Hey, hey, hey,
ladies and jellyfishCopy !req
263. have you ever noticed
salt shakers?Copy !req
264. I mean, you fill them up
every night at closingCopy !req
265. and, I mean,
where does it all go?Copy !req
266. Huh? You know what I mean?Copy !req
267. And tomatoes— what's the deal
on those things?Copy !req
268. Because, I meanCopy !req
269. you chop them up
into slices, but...Copy !req
270. What are they, vegetables or...Copy !req
271. fruit?Copy !req
272. And what does that make ketchup?Copy !req
273. Oh, brother!Copy !req
274. This guy stinks!Copy !req
275. Hey! Hey, funny guy!Copy !req
276. I got a joke
for you!Copy !req
277. What smells rottenCopy !req
278. and puts people
to sleep?Copy !req
279. Um, noxious gas?Copy !req
280. No! Your act!Copy !req
281. Did you ever notice
how, uh, forks, uh...Copy !req
282. Forks?
Come on!Copy !req
283. Quick, SpongeBob!Copy !req
284. Make a witty observation!Copy !req
285. P.U.Copy !req
286. Did you ever notice
how big squirrels' teeth are?Copy !req
287. That's true.Copy !req
288. Huh?Copy !req
289. I mean, heyCopy !req
290. you could land a plane
on those things.Copy !req
291. And what's up
with that squirrel fur?Copy !req
292. I guess fleas need a home, too.Copy !req
293. Squirrel fur!Copy !req
294. And they smell!Copy !req
295. Uh, but hey, you'd stink, tooCopy !req
296. if you spent three months
buried in dirt.Copy !req
297. Why does it take
more than one squirrelCopy !req
298. to change a light bulb?Copy !req
299. Why?Copy !req
300. Because they're so darn stupid!Copy !req
301. Oh, that's
a good one,
eh, Sandy?Copy !req
302. Uh, y-yeah.Copy !req
303. That was
fantastic, boy!Copy !req
304. You really
knocked them out!Copy !req
305. I think I'll do this
joke night againCopy !req
306. with youas
the headliner!Copy !req
307. I never thought I could be
a headliner!Copy !req
308. Whatever that is.Copy !req
309. The headliner's
the oneCopy !req
310. who cleans up
after the show.Copy !req
311. Well, at least I don't have
to clean up my act!Copy !req
312. Stick with
the squirrel jokes, boy.Copy !req
313. Now get busy!Copy !req
314. Mops, mops, mops.Copy !req
315. What's up with those things?Copy !req
316. I mean, really!Copy !req
317. Oh, hey, Sandy.Copy !req
318. Howdy, SpongeBob.Copy !req
319. Did you like
the show?Copy !req
320. Well, a-actually, SpongeBob, no.Copy !req
321. Those jokes are hurtful
and you know it.Copy !req
322. Come on, Sandy.Copy !req
323. I was just joking.Copy !req
324. I mean,
everybody knowsCopy !req
325. you're the smartest one
at Bikini Bottom.Copy !req
326. Well, I can't argue with that.Copy !req
327. We all gotta laugh
at ourselves once in a while.Copy !req
328. I do it all the time!Copy !req
329. You're right,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
330. I was being
a little too sensitive.Copy !req
331. No hard feelings.Copy !req
332. Okay, deodorant.Copy !req
333. Huh, let's see.Copy !req
334. Roll-on or stick?Copy !req
335. I think she
should buy both.Copy !req
336. Huh?Copy !req
337. Hey, look,
guys!Copy !req
338. It's the
stupid squirrel!Copy !req
339. I know—Copy !req
340. let's try
and communicate
with it.Copy !req
341. Duh...Copy !req
342. Hmph!Copy !req
343. Hello,
little critter.Copy !req
344. What's your name?Copy !req
345. Don't stand too close
to a squirrel, Billy.Copy !req
346. You'll catch
its stupid.Copy !req
347. Okay, Mom.Copy !req
348. Stupidity isn't a virusCopy !req
349. but it sure is spreading
like one.Copy !req
350. SpongeBob! SpongeBob!Copy !req
351. SpongeBob! SpongeBob!Copy !req
352. Because they're stupid.Copy !req
353. Because they're stupid.Copy !req
354. Hey, uh,
SpongeBob?Copy !req
355. Oh, hi, Sandy.Copy !req
356. Um, I need
to talk to youCopy !req
357. about them
squirrel jokes.Copy !req
358. We already talked
about that, remember?Copy !req
359. SpongeBob,
this is serious.Copy !req
360. Since you've been
telling them jokesCopy !req
361. people have been treating me
different.Copy !req
362. SpongeBob,
five minutes.Copy !req
363. Hel-lo, Sandy.Copy !req
364. Me Patrick.Copy !req
365. Do you
un-der-stand?Copy !req
366. Squirrels.Copy !req
367. Y-y-you see?Copy !req
368. That's what I'm
talking about.Copy !req
369. That's just
Patrick.Copy !req
370. He's fooling
around.Copy !req
371. I'm just asking you
as a friendCopy !req
372. please lay off them
squirrel jokes, okay?Copy !req
373. Tell some of them
other jokes you got.Copy !req
374. Other jokes?Copy !req
375. Bah!Copy !req
376. I got a million
of them.Copy !req
377. Thanks, SpongeBob.Copy !req
378. I knew
you'd understand.Copy !req
379. SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!Copy !req
380. Put your fins together
for SpongeBob SquarePants!Copy !req
381. Uh, hi.Copy !req
382. Uh, did you hear about
the goldfish who went bankrupt?Copy !req
383. Now he's a bronze fish.Copy !req
384. What? What did
he say?Copy !req
385. I guess you heard that one.Copy !req
386. I haven't
heard it!Copy !req
387. Good one,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
388. Thank you, you're too kind.Copy !req
389. Hey, what about this water?Copy !req
390. I mean, the stuff's everywhere.Copy !req
391. Tell the one about
the squirrel and
the light bulbs!Copy !req
392. Uh... hey, what about
this thing?Copy !req
393. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
394. Get on with
the squirrel jokes!Copy !req
395. Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes!
Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes!Copy !req
396. Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes!
Squirrel jokes!Copy !req
397. What do I do? What do I do?Copy !req
398. SpongeBob, you've got
a choice to make:Copy !req
399. Your friends or your career?Copy !req
400. Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes!Copy !req
401. Howdy, y'all!Copy !req
402. How come it takes
more than one squirrelCopy !req
403. to screw in a light bulb?Copy !req
404. Because they're so darn stupid!Copy !req
405. My people!Copy !req
406. Seriously, folks,
I want to giveCopy !req
407. a special thanks
to my friend Sandy.Copy !req
408. Sandy, don't you see?Copy !req
409. The crowd loves these jokes.Copy !req
410. Am I right?Copy !req
411. Don't you see, Sandy?Copy !req
412. We're laughing with
you, not at you.Copy !req
413. Do you understand
now, Sandy?Copy !req
414. Huh? Do you?Copy !req
415. I understand exactly
what's going on, SpongeBob.Copy !req
416. Great.Copy !req
417. I knew sooner or later
you'd get it.Copy !req
418. What a great sport.Copy !req
419. Let's give a big hand
to Sandy!Copy !req
420. But clap slow, because remember,
she's a squirrel!Copy !req
421. Thank you.Copy !req
422. You've been a wonderful audience
and, uh, good night.Copy !req
423. Ah... another spectacular
performance, SpongeBob.Copy !req
424. Oh, what's this, a fan letter?Copy !req
425. You did it, SpongeBob.Copy !req
426. You get to keep your career
and your friends.Copy !req
427. I'm glad that Sandy can finally
see the genius of my comedy.Copy !req
428. Good morning, Sandy.Copy !req
429. Well, how-dee!Copy !req
430. Sandy, are you
feeling all right?Copy !req
431. I'm just being
my au-naturally squirrely self.Copy !req
432. Well, come
on in.Copy !req
433. Y'all must be tiredCopy !req
434. from telling them
funny jokes all the time.Copy !req
435. Why don't you take
a load off?Copy !req
436. Uh, Sandy, I think something's
wrong with this seat.Copy !req
437. Naw, I just done put glue on it
so you wouldn't fall off.Copy !req
438. Are them flowers
for me?Copy !req
439. You even done
got me a vase.Copy !req
440. But Sandy, that...
that's not a...Copy !req
441. Ain't that purdy?Copy !req
442. Sandy, I need wa...Copy !req
443. Oh, that's right.Copy !req
444. You's a sea critter.Copy !req
445. Now, what was that thing
sea critters need?Copy !req
446. Um... uh, let's see...
sea critters need, uh...Copy !req
447. Wa...Copy !req
448. Oh, wait!
Don't tell me.Copy !req
449. I know this one.Copy !req
450. Wa...Copy !req
451. Wa... llet?
Watch? Waffles?Copy !req
452. Sandy!Copy !req
453. Water!Copy !req
454. Well, why didn't you
just say so?Copy !req
455. Here you go.Copy !req
456. Yup, us squirrels
sure is stupid.Copy !req
457. Sandy!Copy !req
458. Squirrels is dumb.Copy !req
459. Sandy!Copy !req
460. Okay, Sandy, I get it!Copy !req
461. What's that?Copy !req
462. You want more?Copy !req
463. Okey-dokey.Copy !req
464. More water for the sea critter.Copy !req
465. Okay, Sandy, okay!Copy !req
466. I get it!Copy !req
467. No more squirrel jokes.Copy !req
468. SpongeBob! SpongeBob!Copy !req
469. SpongeBob! SpongeBob!Copy !req
470. Thank you, thank you very much.Copy !req
471. On my way over here
I ran into a squirrelCopy !req
472. and I said, "HeyCopy !req
473. "why don't you go get
a couple squirrel friendsCopy !req
474. and we'll go change
a light bulb?"Copy !req
475. But seriously, folks, the only
thing dumber than a squirrelCopy !req
476. is a sponge!Copy !req
477. I mean, we're so dumb,
we don't even have a vertebrae!Copy !req
478. Look at me!Copy !req
479. I got no bones.Copy !req
480. That's true.Copy !req
481. Crabs? Oh, brother.Copy !req
482. They're so cheap they can't even
pay attention!Copy !req
483. It's true!
I am cheap!Copy !req
484. Now let me tell you
about those fish.Copy !req
485. Boy, are they smelly.Copy !req
486. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
487. How could a creatureCopy !req
488. who spends so much time
in the water smell so bad?Copy !req
489. I mean, really.Copy !req
490. Soap, soap, what is soap?Copy !req
491. And don't even get me started
on starfish!Copy !req
492. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
493. and NICKELODEON]Copy !req