1. Westside.Copy !req
2. And so it is
with heavy heartsCopy !req
3. that we say good bye
to Mabel Louise Cartman.Copy !req
4. She was a good woman,
a community leader,Copy !req
5. a caring wife,
providing mother,Copy !req
6. and a loving
grandmother.Copy !req
7. Mom, it's 3:30.Copy !req
8. This is taking up
my whole Saturday.Copy !req
9. Shh, pumpkin,
it's almost over.Copy !req
10. Why couldn't the funeral
have been on a school day?Copy !req
11. And now let us bow our heads
in a moment of silenceCopy !req
12. and reflect on how
Mabel touched our lives.Copy !req
13. God, she didn't take
this long to die.Copy !req
14. And now we release the doves
to symbolize the LordCopy !req
15. taking Mabel into his armsCopy !req
16. and giving her
everlasting peace.Copy !req
17. Peace.Copy !req
18. Great.
Now can we go?Copy !req
19. No, sweetie, we have to tend
to some of grandma's business.Copy !req
20. Ohh!
God damn it!Copy !req
21. "And so I leave
my stocks and bondsCopy !req
22. "worth an estimated $14.12Copy !req
23. to be divided amongst
my loving family."Copy !req
24. Mom, I wanna go home!Copy !req
25. In a minute, sweetie.
This is important.Copy !req
26. "My loving son Stinky, I leave
you the house in Nebraska.Copy !req
27. Look after it as
your father and I did."Copy !req
28. Blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.Copy !req
29. "To my grandson Eric,Copy !req
30. "you were always my favorite
fat little man,Copy !req
31. my perfect round little
pudding piler."Copy !req
32. Oh God, you have to
embarrass meCopy !req
33. even in death, Grandma.Copy !req
34. "For you, Eric, I leave,Copy !req
35. "from my life savings,
the sum of $1 million,Copy !req
36. to be transferred
to you immediately."Copy !req
37. Whosa-jigga-what?Copy !req
38. A million dollars?Copy !req
39. "Eric is the primary
benefactor of my estate,Copy !req
40. "since it is likely
the rest of youCopy !req
41. would spend the money
on crack."Copy !req
42. Oh, my.
- That can't be!Copy !req
43. Excuse me.Copy !req
44. Does this mean I have
$1 million?Copy !req
45. Yes, Eric, it's yours.Copy !req
46. No way.
You don't understand.Copy !req
47. Since I was two years old,Copy !req
48. it has been my dream
to have $1 million.Copy !req
49. And now you do.Copy !req
50. Oh.Copy !req
51. There you are,
Jennifer Lopez!Copy !req
52. You've been most
uncooperative, Miss Lopez.Copy !req
53. No, please!Copy !req
54. I promise I'll never make
another album or movie.Copy !req
55. It's too late
for that, Miss Lopez.Copy !req
56. Have mercy!Copy !req
57. Pop!Copy !req
58. Yeah-ha!
- Awesome!Copy !req
59. You guys, you guys!Copy !req
60. Why?Copy !req
61. Because!Copy !req
62. Nuh-uh.Copy !req
63. No, swear to God,
it's true...Copy !req
64. You better not
be lying, Kenny.Copy !req
65. 999,400...
999,500...Copy !req
66. Damn, Dan, I've never
seen that much cash.Copy !req
67. Me neither.Copy !req
68. 999,900...
1 million.Copy !req
69. Look at it.
Look at it, Mother.Copy !req
70. See how the light reflectsCopy !req
71. the spearmint green
from its surface.Copy !req
72. Eric, that is
a lot of money.Copy !req
73. Don't you think you
should keep it in the bankCopy !req
74. instead of at your house?Copy !req
75. I'm not keeping it,
Mr. Garrison.Copy !req
76. I'm spending it.
- On what?Copy !req
77. On my dream,Copy !req
78. on the one thing
that I've wantedCopy !req
79. ever since I can remember.Copy !req
80. Excuse me, son.
I'm an investment broker.Copy !req
81. I can help you
invest that money.Copy !req
82. Nuh-uh,
I'm spending it.Copy !req
83. Eric, God could sure use that
money for a bigger church.Copy !req
84. I think God has
plenty of money.Copy !req
85. What the hell
are you doing, fat-ass?Copy !req
86. Not much, just taking
my $1 million out of the bank.Copy !req
87. Oh, my God.Copy !req
88. Kenny wasn't lying.Copy !req
89. Would you mind stepping aside?
I've got a purchase to make.Copy !req
90. Dude, can you loan me
20 bucks for a new jacket?Copy !req
91. Ha! If you need money,
you can get a job, Stan!Copy !req
92. No freeloaders are gonna take
my hard-earned cash.Copy !req
93. Your grandma left it to you.
You didn't earn it!Copy !req
94. Didn't earn it?Copy !req
95. What about all the years I spent
making grandma like me,Copy !req
96. all the wet, spit-filled
kisses I put up with,Copy !req
97. the constant smell
of aspirin and pee?Copy !req
98. Don't tell me I didn't earn it,
you son of a bitch!Copy !req
99. No, no,
this is impossible.Copy !req
100. Yeah, it's unbelievable.Copy !req
101. No, I mean this
isn't impossible, Stan.Copy !req
102. Cartman is the biggest
asshole in the world.Copy !req
103. How is it that God gives him
a million dollars?Copy !req
104. Come on, we got to see what
Cartman is doing with his money.Copy !req
105. Why?
How could you do this?Copy !req
106. There are people
starving in Alabama,Copy !req
107. and you give Cartman
a million dollars?Copy !req
108. And if we can just get you
to sign here and here.Copy !req
109. You're sure this is what
you want, sweetie?Copy !req
110. My own amusement park,
Mother, I'm sure.Copy !req
111. And now you just
sign here, Mr. Foon.Copy !req
112. I can't do it.Copy !req
113. What?
- What?Copy !req
114. I can't sell
this poor kid my park.Copy !req
115. Look, I haven't been
honest with you.Copy !req
116. The park hasn't been
doing great business.Copy !req
117. Frank, shh.
- It ain't right, Chris.Copy !req
118. The truth is, the park
is a financial flop.Copy !req
119. I haven't turned
a profit in yearsCopy !req
120. because I can't keep
attendance up.Copy !req
121. Oh, but I'm not buying
the park to get people to come.Copy !req
122. You—you're not?Copy !req
123. No, no, no.Copy !req
124. I'm buying it
to keep people out!Copy !req
125. Don't you see?Copy !req
126. Forever it has been my dream
to have my very own theme parkCopy !req
127. so that I could be alone in it
all day, every day.Copy !req
128. I love theme parks,
but the lines...Copy !req
129. Everywhere you go—
people, crowds.Copy !req
130. The rides are great,Copy !req
131. but all the lines,
lines, lines!Copy !req
132. If there's
one thing I hate,Copy !req
133. all the lines, lines,
lines, lines!Copy !req
134. And then there get to be
so many peopleCopy !req
135. that they make "fast pass."Copy !req
136. So then there's lines
for fast pass.Copy !req
137. You stand in line to get a
ticket to stand in line later.Copy !req
138. Then there's lines
for the bathrooms,Copy !req
139. lines for the drinks,Copy !req
140. lines for kartankulasCopy !req
141. and rare kartankula plinks.Copy !req
142. And so you see,
this park is for me.Copy !req
143. Nobody else
will be allowed in.Copy !req
144. Oh, well, then I guess
I don't feel bad.Copy !req
145. Mr. Cartman, congratulations.
The theme park is yours.Copy !req
146. Gentlemen, I thank you.Copy !req
147. Kyle?Copy !req
148. Dude, what are you
doing here?Copy !req
149. Everybody's
looking for you.Copy !req
150. Kyle?Copy !req
151. Do you know what happened
to me this morning, Stan?Copy !req
152. This morning I woke up
and felt a sharp pain in my ass.Copy !req
153. I felt down there and found
this big, sore lump...Copy !req
154. On my ass, Stan.Copy !req
155. I couldn't even
sit down, so...Copy !req
156. I had to tell my mother,
which was humiliating.Copy !req
157. She took me to the doctor,
which was more humiliating,Copy !req
158. and he told me...
I have a hemorrhoid.Copy !req
159. It's like an infected
blood vessel on your ass.Copy !req
160. I'm nine years old,
and I have a hemorrhoid, Stan.Copy !req
161. I have a hemorrhoid,Copy !req
162. and Cartman has
his own theme park.Copy !req
163. Kyle, I understand
what you mean, but—Copy !req
164. Do you?
Do you, Stan?Copy !req
165. Because all my life I was
raised to believe in Jehovah,Copy !req
166. to believe that we should all
behave a certain wayCopy !req
167. and good things
will come to us.Copy !req
168. I make mistakes, but every week
I try to better myself.Copy !req
169. I'm always saying, "you know,
I learned something today."Copy !req
170. And what does this so-called
God give me in return?Copy !req
171. A hemorrhoid.Copy !req
172. It doesn't make sense.
What is your logic?Copy !req
173. Ow.Copy !req
174. Look, Cartman, he thinks
he's gonna be happyCopy !req
175. because he has his own
amusement park,Copy !req
176. but he's gonna find out
that without other people,Copy !req
177. the rides are
totally lame.Copy !req
178. I mean, who could really
have fun by themselvesCopy !req
179. at a theme park?Copy !req
180. I'll bet he's
sick of it already.Copy !req
181. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
182. Awesome!Copy !req
183. Ho! Ho!Copy !req
184. Sweet, yes!Copy !req
185. Keep your arms and legs
inside the vehicle at all times.Copy !req
186. Make sure your seat belt
is fastened.Copy !req
187. Enjoy the mine shaft!Copy !req
188. Heh, heh, heh-heh.Copy !req
189. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
190. Oh, cool!Copy !req
191. Oh, look how much
fun I had.Copy !req
192. Whoa!
Heh, heh, heh.Copy !req
193. Waa!
Heh, heh.Copy !req
194. Whoa!
Heh, heh, heh.Copy !req
195. Ooh, Adventure Island.
Check it out. Awesome!Copy !req
196. Whoo-hoo! Yeah!Copy !req
197. I'm so happy.Copy !req
198. I'm so happy!Copy !req
199. Oh, hey, dude,
Terrance & PhillipCopy !req
200. is just about to start.Copy !req
201. Great.
- What's that?Copy !req
202. it's my seat ring.Copy !req
203. I have to sit on it
because of my hemorrhoid.Copy !req
204. Ow.
- Heh, heh. Sorry.Copy !req
205. So how are things going
at Cartman's theme park?Copy !req
206. Dude,
just forget about it.Copy !req
207. We can't let him
get to us, or he wins.Copy !req
208. I guess you're right.Copy !req
209. Hey, everybody check out
the all-new Cartmanland!Copy !req
210. It's our Grand Opening!Copy !req
211. Cartmanland has over
100 fabulous rides,Copy !req
212. six roller coasters,
and tons of great surprises.Copy !req
213. And the best part is,
you can't come!Copy !req
214. That's right,
because at Cartmanland,Copy !req
215. Only I, Eric Cartman,
can get in.Copy !req
216. That means only I can ride
the all-new Tornado Twister,Copy !req
217. a roller coaster that splashes
into water—wow!Copy !req
218. It's the greatest amusement park
in the Colorado area.Copy !req
219. And nobody can go,
especially Stan and Kyle!Copy !req
220. Ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
221. So come on down
to Cartmanland now,Copy !req
222. but don't plan on getting
past the parking lot,Copy !req
223. 'Cause remember:Copy !req
224. Especially you,
Stan and Kyle.Copy !req
225. That does it!
Come on, dude.Copy !req
226. Where are we going?Copy !req
227. We're getting into
that fat-ass's park,Copy !req
228. whether he likes it
or not.Copy !req
229. Whoa!
Heh, heh.Copy !req
230. Whoa.Copy !req
231. Whoa!
Heh, heh, heh.Copy !req
232. Oh, man,
that was awesome!Copy !req
233. That one part with the spider
that dropped on you—Copy !req
234. oh, man, that totally got me;
that was sweet.Copy !req
235. Help! Help! Help!
Oh, that hurts!Copy !req
236. Help!
Oh, that hurts!Copy !req
237. You sons of bitches!Copy !req
238. Come on, dude!Copy !req
239. Oh God, I popped it!
Oh, it hurts!Copy !req
240. What the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
241. Oh crap.Copy !req
242. Oh God, get me
off of here!Copy !req
243. Dude!Copy !req
244. Stan, I have to go home.Copy !req
245. I need my cream.
I need my cream!Copy !req
246. Alright, let's go.Copy !req
247. That's right.
You stay out!Copy !req
248. You can't keep us out forever,
you fucking fat-ass!Copy !req
249. We'll be back as soon as Kyle's
hemorrhoid is better.Copy !req
250. My life can't
get any worse!Copy !req
251. You'll see.
We'll get in.Copy !req
252. Alright, so listen.Copy !req
253. All I want you to do
is keep anybody outCopy !req
254. who tries to get in here.Copy !req
255. If you see anybody
on my proper-tuh,Copy !req
256. especially Stan and Kyle,
you are to shoot on sight.Copy !req
257. So what does
this job pay?Copy !req
258. Alright,
now this is very hardCopy !req
259. for me to do, you understand.Copy !req
260. But in return for you
working security,Copy !req
261. I'll let you ride
two rides a day,Copy !req
262. but only two rides
and only if I'm not on them.Copy !req
263. Uh, I'm afraid I don't
really like rides.Copy !req
264. But you can ride
anything you want,Copy !req
265. and you don't have to
wait in line.Copy !req
266. I'm not interested.Copy !req
267. Dude, are you from Mars
or something?Copy !req
268. Any ride you want,
no lines.Copy !req
269. if you need security,
I need a cash salary.Copy !req
270. But I don't
have any cash.Copy !req
271. I spent everything
on this park.Copy !req
272. Well, look,
why don't you just letCopy !req
273. a couple of people in
each day?Copy !req
274. Every day you can just
let two people in,Copy !req
275. charge $29.95 for tickets,Copy !req
276. and then you can use that
to pay my daily salary.Copy !req
277. Ugh, two people!Copy !req
278. This place is huge.
You'll never notice two people.Copy !req
279. And then you'll have
security for your park.Copy !req
280. Well, alright,
God damn it.Copy !req
281. I'll open the park
to two people each day.Copy !req
282. But remember, anybody else you
see trespassing in the park...Copy !req
283. I will shoot on sight.
- Sweet.Copy !req
284. You're a very
lucky little boy.Copy !req
285. I've never seen
a hemorrhoid so infected.Copy !req
286. It could've killed you.Copy !req
287. Lucky.Copy !req
288. Oh, look, Kyle, your little
friend Stan is here to see you.Copy !req
289. Dude, you okay?
- Oh, I'm swell, Stan.Copy !req
290. I popped my hemorrhoid
trying to climb the fenceCopy !req
291. into Cartmanland,
and it got infected.Copy !req
292. I really need to go
to the bathroom,Copy !req
293. but if I do,
it will pop again,Copy !req
294. and the pain will
make me pass out.Copy !req
295. How are you?Copy !req
296. Well, I found out
that Cartman's lettingCopy !req
297. a few people each day
into his theme park.Copy !req
298. I was thinking we could put
on disguises and get in.Copy !req
299. I'm afraid Kyle can't ride
any amusement park ridesCopy !req
300. for over a year because of
his horrible hemorrhoid.Copy !req
301. Jesus.Copy !req
302. But it's okay, Stan, because
I finally figured it out.Copy !req
303. You see,
if someone like CartmanCopy !req
304. can get a million dollars
and his own theme park,Copy !req
305. then there is no God;
there's no God, dude.Copy !req
306. Kyle, don't
say such things!Copy !req
307. Why? Why, Mom?Copy !req
308. Because if I do, something
bad will happen to me?Copy !req
309. Because if I do,
your God might not shower meCopy !req
310. with his blessings of
infected hemorrhoids?Copy !req
311. Kyle, you just don't
understand; it's—Copy !req
312. No, I finally do
understand!Copy !req
313. There is no justice!
There is no God!Copy !req
314. Do you hear me?
I renounce my faith!Copy !req
315. Alright, alright,
listen up, people.Copy !req
316. Cartmanland is open but only
to two people each day.Copy !req
317. Aww!Copy !req
318. I've just got to cover
my security expenses.Copy !req
319. Butters, Clyde,
you can come in.Copy !req
320. Oh!Copy !req
321. The rest of you will just
have to try another day.Copy !req
322. Hey, one park admission.
That'll be $29.95, sir.Copy !req
323. Five cents
is your change.Copy !req
324. Enjoy your stay
at Cartmanland.Copy !req
325. Oh boy, oh boy!Copy !req
326. And enjoy your stay
at Cartmanland.Copy !req
327. Oh, finally work is over.Copy !req
328. Now I can get back
to riding my rides.Copy !req
329. Hmm, what should
I go on now?Copy !req
330. I know; I'll go on
the Haunted Mansion ride again!Copy !req
331. What are you doing?Copy !req
332. We're in line
for the Spook House.Copy !req
333. Line? Line?Copy !req
334. I hate lines!Copy !req
335. Can't you go on something
else right now?Copy !req
336. We want to see
the Spook House.Copy !req
337. Well, we paid $29.95.Copy !req
338. We should be able to go
in the Spook House.Copy !req
339. Yeah, but I think
it's broke down.Copy !req
340. The cars aren't moving.Copy !req
341. Alright, alright,
hang on.Copy !req
342. Security!Copy !req
343. What?Copy !req
344. Oh! Jesus, look,Copy !req
345. the Haunted House ride
broke down.Copy !req
346. I need you to fix it.Copy !req
347. Uh, I'm security,
not maintenance.Copy !req
348. But I don't know
how it works.Copy !req
349. Your rides are gonna
break down every now and then.Copy !req
350. You need to hire
a maintenance person.Copy !req
351. Uh, alright, alright.Copy !req
352. I'll let two more people
in each dayCopy !req
353. so I can hire
a maintenance person.Copy !req
354. Alright, folks, we've had
another change in policy.Copy !req
355. I've had to hire
a maintenance person,Copy !req
356. and to pay his salary,Copy !req
357. I have to let in
two more people a day.Copy !req
358. However, the stupid
maintenance personCopy !req
359. demanded I have food
and drinks inside the park,Copy !req
360. so now I've had to hire
a beverage personCopy !req
361. and a cotton candy person,Copy !req
362. which means I now have to let
eight people come in a day.Copy !req
363. But you are
to try your bestCopy !req
364. not to ride any rides
that I am on.Copy !req
365. Understood?Copy !req
366. Alright, let's go.Copy !req
367. Timmy!Copy !req
368. Wait a minute.
Who are you?Copy !req
369. Mike Gainer.Copy !req
370. Ha, get the hell
out of here, Stan!Copy !req
371. God damn it, Cartman,
let me in!Copy !req
372. I thought you said buying
a theme park was stupid.Copy !req
373. Security!Copy !req
374. it is stupid, Cartman.Copy !req
375. You made Kyle lose his faith
in God, you fat asshole!Copy !req
376. Get him out of here.Copy !req
377. Move along, sir.Copy !req
378. Ah! This isn't over,
Cartman!Copy !req
379. Ugh!Copy !req
380. Well, now I can finally get back
to riding my rides.Copy !req
381. Sweet! Yay!Copy !req
382. Oh, man, I'm so scared.Copy !req
383. Aah!Copy !req
384. Ah!
Aaah!Copy !req
385. Just a little more.
There we go.Copy !req
386. Hello, Kyle.
How's the hemorrhoid today?Copy !req
387. Awesome.Copy !req
388. Kyle, we want to tell you
about the Book of Job.Copy !req
389. It's a story
from the Bible.Copy !req
390. I've had enough of the Bible.
What has it gotten me?Copy !req
391. Oh, I think you'll see
differently after hearing this.Copy !req
392. Sit down, Kyle.Copy !req
393. Uh, okay.Copy !req
394. You see, Job lived
in the east of JordanCopy !req
395. a long, long time ago.Copy !req
396. Job was a great man.Copy !req
397. He was blessed with
ten lovely children,Copy !req
398. a wonderful wife,
and many friends.Copy !req
399. he was a godly and a good man
and fed the poor.Copy !req
400. He was the most upright
and honorable of men.Copy !req
401. And every day
he praised God.Copy !req
402. But one day,Copy !req
403. Satan went up to heaven
and talked to God.Copy !req
404. Satan talked to God?Copy !req
405. Yes, in the Book of Job,Copy !req
406. Satan talks to God.Copy !req
407. And God says to Satan,
"have you seen Job?"Copy !req
408. "He is a great man,
and he praises me every day."Copy !req
409. But Satan said,
"oh, yeah?Copy !req
410. "he only praises you
because you gave him so much.Copy !req
411. "if you didn't
give him those things,Copy !req
412. he would curse
your name."Copy !req
413. To which God said,Copy !req
414. "Oh, yeah?
I'll show you, Satan.Copy !req
415. "I'll take those things
away from Job,Copy !req
416. and he will still
praise my name."Copy !req
417. And so God had a bunch
of barbarians come inCopy !req
418. and slaughter Job's
ox and donkeysCopy !req
419. and murder
all his workers.Copy !req
420. Then God sent his fireballs
from the skyCopy !req
421. and killed his sheep
and the rest of his employees.Copy !req
422. And then, as Job's sons
and daughters were eating,Copy !req
423. God sent a mighty wind
to collapse the houseCopy !req
424. and crushed
and killed them all.Copy !req
425. Job was terribly sad,Copy !req
426. but he fell
to his knees and said,Copy !req
427. "the Lord giveth,
and the Lord taketh away"Copy !req
428. and praised God's name.Copy !req
429. So then Job got painful sores
all over his body.Copy !req
430. he was in terrible, miserable
pain all day, every day.Copy !req
431. But he still
kept his faith.Copy !req
432. God said to Satan,Copy !req
433. "see? I told you."
"Job still praises me."Copy !req
434. And that's it?
That's the end?Copy !req
435. Basically.Copy !req
436. That's the most horrible story
I've ever heard.Copy !req
437. Why would God do such horrible
things to a good personCopy !req
438. just to prove
a point to Satan?Copy !req
439. Oh, uh, I don't know.Copy !req
440. Then I was right.Copy !req
441. Job has all
his children killed,Copy !req
442. and Michael Bay
gets to keep making movies.Copy !req
443. There isn't a God.Copy !req
444. And since the stupid security
guard needs video surveillance,Copy !req
445. I have to let in
two more people a dayCopy !req
446. to cover those expenses.Copy !req
447. Need to cover the new
ticket guy's salary,Copy !req
448. so that's three more
admissions a day.Copy !req
449. Clean-up crew
for the bathroom,Copy !req
450. money to cover
paint and upkeep.Copy !req
451. So that's about
four admissions,Copy !req
452. Bringing the grand total to...Copy !req
453. God damn it.Copy !req
454. 816 people can come
into the park today.Copy !req
455. Welcome
to Cartmanland.Copy !req
456. Isn't he getting
any better, Doctor?Copy !req
457. I don't understand it.Copy !req
458. He's not fighting the
infected hemorrhoid at all.Copy !req
459. It's like he...Copy !req
460. Like he's lost
all hope.Copy !req
461. Well, if you'll excuse me,Copy !req
462. I've got some more
tests to run.Copy !req
463. And now back to
Money Quest on HBC.Copy !req
464. Welcome back
to Money Quest.Copy !req
465. In just over two weeks,Copy !req
466. young financial genius
Eric CartmanCopy !req
467. has managed
to turn a theme parkCopy !req
468. that was seeing less than
100 attendees a dayCopy !req
469. into a thriving park with
attendance in the thousands.Copy !req
470. And the way he did itCopy !req
471. was with the brilliant
"you can't come" technique.Copy !req
472. For the first
several days,Copy !req
473. the young businessman
saturated the marketCopy !req
474. with claims that nobody
could get into his park.Copy !req
475. It made the public crazy.Copy !req
476. So then, weeks later,
when he opened the doors,Copy !req
477. they were lining up
around the block.Copy !req
478. Simply amazing.Copy !req
479. Well, I think
we should point outCopy !req
480. that this technique is
already being appliedCopy !req
481. by businesses
all over the country.Copy !req
482. I'm sorry, we're no longer
taking reservations.Copy !req
483. Nobody can eat here.Copy !req
484. You'll have to
leave now.Copy !req
485. No, I'm sorry.
You can't see this movie.Copy !req
486. Nobody can see
this movie.Copy !req
487. I can't even go in.Copy !req
488. Out!Copy !req
489. Nobody is allowed into
Gracy's anymore!Copy !req
490. Get out of here!Copy !req
491. Amazing—Eric Cartman
is surelyCopy !req
492. the financial genius
of our time.Copy !req
493. Uh, uhaah...Copy !req
494. Kyle? Kyle?Copy !req
495. Get the doctor!Copy !req
496. God damn it,
stop running into me!Copy !req
497. Ahh!Copy !req
498. Ahhhhh!Copy !req
499. My God,
look at it, Chris.Copy !req
500. That kid completely
turned this place around.Copy !req
501. He sure did.Copy !req
502. Oh, if I could only have
a park that worked like this.Copy !req
503. Hey, there you are.
- Oh, hello.Copy !req
504. Congratulations
on your success.Copy !req
505. Just give me my money back.
- What?Copy !req
506. I changed my mind.
I don't want your stupid park.Copy !req
507. But it's doing great.Copy !req
508. You call this great?
I call it Hell.Copy !req
509. Trade me back,
God damn it!Copy !req
510. You bet!Copy !req
511. I'll go get your money
right now.Copy !req
512. Daddy, Daddy,
can we ride the rockets?Copy !req
513. God damn it, get the fuck
out of my way!Copy !req
514. Isn't he responding
at all, Doctor?Copy !req
515. I'm sorry, your son appears
to be losing the battle.Copy !req
516. I'm afraid that the hemorrhoid
has spread to his lungs.Copy !req
517. Normally the body
would fight the infection,Copy !req
518. but he's—he's just
given up on life.Copy !req
519. But then
are you saying...Copy !req
520. there's nothing more
I can do.Copy !req
521. Little fella's just
lost his will to live.Copy !req
522. Oh, Kyle! Kyle,
you've got to fight!Copy !req
523. Good riddance,
you stupid park.Copy !req
524. You can all kiss my ass!Copy !req
525. Excuse me,
Eric Cartman?Copy !req
526. Yeah.Copy !req
527. I'm Frank Gerret
with the IRS.Copy !req
528. You haven't kept records
of your income or payout,Copy !req
529. and there's a $500,000
discrepancy.Copy !req
530. Seize the assets.Copy !req
531. Hey!
Hey, that's my money!Copy !req
532. There's also the lawsuitCopy !req
533. of the little boy
who died in your park.Copy !req
534. The family's entitled
to the rest of this.Copy !req
535. What, Kenny?
He dies all the time!Copy !req
536. You still owe $13,000
more than this, Mr. Cartman.Copy !req
537. We'll see you in court.Copy !req
538. You can't take my money,
God damn it!Copy !req
539. We know how well
your park is doing.Copy !req
540. You'll make it back
in no time.Copy !req
541. Ah! But I—ah!Copy !req
542. Hey, hey, Mr. Foon,
I changed my mind.Copy !req
543. I need the park
to make my money back.Copy !req
544. No way, Jose.
- But I'm getting sued now.Copy !req
545. If I don't have the park,
I lose everything.Copy !req
546. "I don't care," said Pierre.
"I'm from France."Copy !req
547. This can't be happening!
Aaah!Copy !req
548. Kyle, you got to
come see!Copy !req
549. Kyle's not going
to make it, Stanley.Copy !req
550. Oh, Gerald!Copy !req
551. Doctor, can we wheel Kyle
out of here on his bedCopy !req
552. with the machines attached?Copy !req
553. Well, I suppose
it could be rigged, but I...Copy !req
554. Then damn it, man,
do it!Copy !req
555. it isn't fair!Copy !req
556. You Goddamn assholes,
it isn't fair!Copy !req
557. Look, Kyle, look.Copy !req
558. You just built me up to
knock me down, didn't you?Copy !req
559. What about my dreams?Copy !req
560. What about my money?Copy !req
561. Huh?Copy !req
562. I'm so pissed off!Copy !req
563. Move along, sir.Copy !req
564. You are vandalizing
private property.Copy !req
565. Hey, you used to
work for me!Copy !req
566. God damn it,
you son of a bitch!Copy !req
567. Kyle.
- He's coming back.Copy !req
568. That's it, baby,
that's it.Copy !req
569. Oh God damn it,
this sucks!Copy !req
570. Wait a minute; yes,Copy !req
571. the hemorrhoid is
going into remission.Copy !req
572. Arrrrrr rrr!Copy !req
573. Look, Kyle, Cartman
is totally miserable,Copy !req
574. even more miserable
than he was before,Copy !req
575. because he's had his dream
and lost it.Copy !req
576. It's not fair!Copy !req
577. It's not fair.
I wanna die!Copy !req
578. I wanna die!Copy !req
579. You are up there.Copy !req