1. Okay, Carol, put the card
you picked back into the deckCopy !req
2. so I can't see it... twah.Copy !req
3. What's going on?Copy !req
4. This feller David Blaine.
He's doing magic tricks.Copy !req
5. Hey, where'd you
get that ice cream?Copy !req
6. Okay, now hold this card up
to the crowd.Copy !req
7. Was that the card you picked?
- No, I'm sorry.Copy !req
8. I picked the four of hearts.Copy !req
9. Four of hearts? Really?
Look again.Copy !req
10. Aah!Copy !req
11. Ohhh!
- Whoa!Copy !req
12. That's pretty cool, dude!
- Who's this asshole?Copy !req
13. He's a magician
named David Blaine, dude.Copy !req
14. He kicks ass.Copy !req
15. Where'd you guys
get that ice cream?Copy !req
16. Sir, c-could you
come over here?Copy !req
17. Now, what I want you
to do, Mister...?Copy !req
18. Kern.Copy !req
19. Mr. Kern, I want you
to just think about a card.Copy !req
20. Pick any card,
and picture it in your mind.Copy !req
21. Okay.Copy !req
22. Okay, just —
just think about your card.Copy !req
23. Okay, look at me.Copy !req
24. Look at me.Copy !req
25. Look at me.Copy !req
26. Okay, now reach up your ass.Copy !req
27. - Huh?
- Go on, reach up your ass.Copy !req
28. I don't feel nothing.Copy !req
29. Deeper.Copy !req
30. I don't feel — I don—Copy !req
31. Wait. Wait!Copy !req
32. Was that the card you picked?Copy !req
33. Yes!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
34. - Oh ho!
- Mm!Copy !req
35. - Wow, that's cool!
- How'd he do that?Copy !req
36. Thank you.Copy !req
37. I've been traveling from town
to town for quite a while.Copy !req
38. I've started quite a following,Copy !req
39. mostly because of
my levitation trick... twah.Copy !req
40. Watch. Watch.Copy !req
41. - Whoa!
- No way!Copy !req
42. Damn. That guy is the coolest
guy in the universe!Copy !req
43. Pamphlet. Pamphlet.Copy !req
44. Here you go, kids.
Take a pamphlet.Copy !req
45. "David Blaine Workshop.Copy !req
46. Learn all about David Blaine
at the Center for Magic."Copy !req
47. Dude, we got to go!Copy !req
48. Yeah, and they probably teach
you how to do magic tricks!Copy !req
49. Hello, everyone.Copy !req
50. My name is Steven,
and I've been a BlaintologistCopy !req
51. for about three years.Copy !req
52. So, when David Blaine performed
his miracles out on the street,Copy !req
53. what moved you the most?Copy !req
54. His miracles?Copy !req
55. Oh, yes. You see, David Blaine
is much more than a magician.Copy !req
56. He's a scholar,
a visionary, a leader.Copy !req
57. When are we gonna learn
magic tricks?Copy !req
58. Yeah!Copy !req
59. Oh, I've got a trick
for you to learn —Copy !req
60. I can show you how to make
your true self appear.Copy !req
61. Let me ask you all something —Copy !req
62. Do you consider yourselves
to be happy?Copy !req
63. I don't think I'm very happy.Copy !req
64. I always fall asleep
to the sound of my own screams.Copy !req
65. Right, y-you see, the reason
that you are unha—Copy !req
66. And then I always get
woken up in the morningCopy !req
67. by the sound of my own screams.Copy !req
68. Do you think I'm unhappy?Copy !req
69. Well, the — the point is
that you can be happy.Copy !req
70. You see, your friends
and parents have programmed youCopy !req
71. in a way that makes you feel
isolated and alone.Copy !req
72. How many times have you felt
like nobody knows the real you?Copy !req
73. You're not really happy.Copy !req
74. I'm not really happy.Copy !req
75. Your potential hasn't
even been reached.Copy !req
76. My retential
hasn't even been reached.Copy !req
77. If you look through
David Blaine's incredible book,Copy !req
78. you'll find a lot
of life's answers.Copy !req
79. Let's read some of the book
together, shall we?Copy !req
80. Then we get to be in
David Blaine's secret club?Copy !req
81. - That's right.
- Cool!Copy !req
82. Ike, eat your gefilte fish.Copy !req
83. - No.
- Mom! Mom!Copy !req
84. I found out all about this great
new magician named David Blaine.Copy !req
85. That's nice, Kyle.
Ike, eat!Copy !req
86. We spent all afternoon
learning aboutCopy !req
87. how we aren't actually happy.Copy !req
88. I had no idea how unhappy I was
until today.Copy !req
89. They gave me this
cool book to read,Copy !req
90. and I'm already
on chapter four.Copy !req
91. Well, it's nice to see you so
interested in something, Kyle.Copy !req
92. Ike, for the love of Abraham,
you are gonna eat this!Copy !req
93. So can I go to the magic campCopy !req
94. to learn how to become
a full member?Copy !req
95. All the other guys are doing it,
and it's only $69.95.Copy !req
96. Magic camp?Copy !req
97. I don't know, boubbie.
Ask your father.Copy !req
98. Ike, you will eat this!Copy !req
99. Prepare to be cleansed and
release the magic inside you.Copy !req
100. I am prepared!Copy !req
101. Ah, geez,
it sure got cold in here.Copy !req
102. Next!Copy !req
103. Congratulations,
young Blaintologists.Copy !req
104. From this day, you are clean.Copy !req
105. Now, we have
very important work to do!Copy !req
106. David Blaine is going to
put on a big magic showCopy !req
107. in Denver tomorrow night, where
he's going to eat his own head.Copy !req
108. Wow!Copy !req
109. So it's up to
all you new BlaintologistsCopy !req
110. to get as many people there
as you can.Copy !req
111. Whoever gets the most people
to come gets a prize!Copy !req
112. Kyle, I'm starting to think
that this is a really bad idea.Copy !req
113. I'm not Kyle. I'm Butters.
I thought you were Kyle.Copy !req
114. - No, I'm Stan.
- You're Stan? Where's Kenny?Copy !req
115. - Who are you?
- I'm Kyle.Copy !req
116. Heh heh.
Guess who I am, you guys.Copy !req
117. Kyle, I think we may have
gotten into something bad here.Copy !req
118. What do you mean? We're learning
all kinds of cool stuff.Copy !req
119. Look at us, dude. These people
are trying to change us somehow.Copy !req
120. I think it's time we went home.Copy !req
121. But David Blaine's gonna do more
miracles in Denver tomorrow.Copy !req
122. I don't care!
I'm leaving!Copy !req
123. Excuse me.Copy !req
124. - Where are you going?
- I'm going home.Copy !req
125. You don't want to go home.Copy !req
126. You said we're free to leave
whenever we want.Copy !req
127. - You are.
- Then move out of the way.Copy !req
128. I'm not in your way.
You are.Copy !req
129. Are you unhappy
with the church's teachings?Copy !req
130. Let's just talk about it.Copy !req
131. I don't want to talk about it.
I just want to leave.Copy !req
132. Why don't we go into the back
room for a second and talk?Copy !req
133. Then you can leave.Copy !req
134. That's okay.
I-I changed my mind.Copy !req
135. I'm gonna stay.Copy !req
136. That's great news.Copy !req
137. Okay, it's all clear.Copy !req
138. - What are we doing?
- We're getting out of here.Copy !req
139. This whole thing has
gotten way out of hand.Copy !req
140. Whoa, whoa,
I'm not going anywhere.Copy !req
141. - Come on, Kyle, this is stupid!
- It's not stupid, Stan.Copy !req
142. For once in my life, I feel like
I'm part of something.Copy !req
143. A part of what? Some gaywad
magician's crazy life plan?Copy !req
144. Don't call Mr. Blaine a gaywad!
He's a brilliant man.Copy !req
145. No, they've just convinced you
that he's a brilliant man.Copy !req
146. - Let's go!
- I'm not going anywhere!Copy !req
147. God damn it, I'm not going
with you! I want to stay here!Copy !req
148. Huh?
I thought you wanted to leave.Copy !req
149. - Oh, wait, who am I again?
- You're Stan.Copy !req
150. Oh, oh, yeah. God—
God damn it, hold on a second.Copy !req
151. Okay. Now, look, dude,
I'm getting out of here,Copy !req
152. and you're a dumb-ass
if you don't come with me.Copy !req
153. Then I guess I'm a dumb-ass.Copy !req
154. Kyle, please.Copy !req
155. You're — You're my best friend.Copy !req
156. Well, this is
what I believe in now, Stan.Copy !req
157. And if you can't respect that,Copy !req
158. then I guess we're not
best friends anymore.Copy !req
159. Hello, ma'am. My name is Kyle.
And this is Cartman.Copy !req
160. We'd like to share our interest
in David Blaine with you.Copy !req
161. Uh-oh. My husband warned me
about you Blainiacs.Copy !req
162. I'm sorry, but I'm a Catholic.Copy !req
163. Uh, it doesn't matter, ma'am.
Blaintology is for everyone.Copy !req
164. There are Blaintologists
who are Catholics, Buddhists.Copy !req
165. Why, even Kyle here
is a Goddamn Jew.Copy !req
166. That's right.Copy !req
167. So you're not a cult?Copy !req
168. A cult?
No.Copy !req
169. David Blaine is a real person.Copy !req
170. You may have seen
his television specials on ABC.Copy !req
171. He also wrote a book, and we'd
like to share it with you.Copy !req
172. Well, all right.
Come on in.Copy !req
173. Cool.Copy !req
174. And if you look here,
you can see how David BlaineCopy !req
175. performed the miracle of being
frozen in ice at Times Square.Copy !req
176. Ma'am, have you ever wonderedCopy !req
177. what David Blaine's
plan is for you?Copy !req
178. No, not really.Copy !req
179. Oh, see, that —
that's interesting becauseCopy !req
180. I'm so thankful
for David Blaine's book,Copy !req
181. and I'm so thankful
that he showed meCopy !req
182. the way to true happiness,Copy !req
183. but I think about
his plan often.Copy !req
184. David Blaine is doing
a big performanceCopy !req
185. in Denver tomorrow night.Copy !req
186. We're sure his magic
will entertain and astound you!Copy !req
187. He's going to eat his own head.Copy !req
188. How many tickets
can we put you down for?Copy !req
189. Oh, I can't go.Copy !req
190. Oh, come on.
It'll make you a happy person.Copy !req
191. - I am happy.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
192. - Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
193. - I really am.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
194. - But I am.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
195. - All right, two tickets.
- Great!Copy !req
196. That's 15 people
we got to agreeCopy !req
197. to come see
David Blaine perform in Denver!Copy !req
198. Yes, Brother Kyle,
but our work is not over.Copy !req
199. We must still recruit
10 more audience membersCopy !req
200. in order to get the prize.Copy !req
201. I think if we try Kenny's
neighborhood, we might find a...Copy !req
202. Come, Brother Kyle.
We have no time for him.Copy !req
203. Aaah!Copy !req
204. You'd better watch yourself
next time, abandoner!Copy !req
205. - Hi, Jesus. It's me, Stan Marsh.
- Stan Marsh.Copy !req
206. Of course, I know you, my child.
Come in.Copy !req
207. This guy is going around
doing magic tricksCopy !req
208. and saying they're miracles.Copy !req
209. My friend Kyle thinks
he's totally awesome!Copy !req
210. You are good to bring this
to my attention, Stan.Copy !req
211. Cults are
a very dangerous thing.Copy !req
212. I read in the Bible that
you performed miracles too.Copy !req
213. If you could
go in front of these peopleCopy !req
214. and do your miracles,
then they'll all seeCopy !req
215. that David Blaine
isn't so special.Copy !req
216. The miracle I'm most famous for
is turning water into wine.Copy !req
217. - Can you do it again?
- Very well.Copy !req
218. I shall perform the miracle.Copy !req
219. Behold! Here you can see
ordinary water — clear, clean.Copy !req
220. Okay, now turn around.Copy !req
221. Uh, n— tur— turn around.Copy !req
222. O-Okay, now turn back.Copy !req
223. It is now wine!Copy !req
224. That's it?
That's how you did that trick?Copy !req
225. W-Well, yeah.Copy !req
226. That trick sucks, Jesus.Copy !req
227. Oh. Well, I guess it worked
a little better on peopleCopy !req
228. 2,000 years ago.Copy !req
229. Dude, we have to do something.Copy !req
230. This guy is performing more
miracles in Denver tonight.Copy !req
231. He's gonna get more followers,Copy !req
232. and it will be impossible
for me to get Kyle out.Copy !req
233. Then let's go!Copy !req
234. But, dude, I'd I don't think
you should doCopy !req
235. that lame water-to-wine trick.Copy !req
236. Oh, don't worry. I have a few
more miracles up my sleeve.Copy !req
237. This is a really good turnout.Copy !req
238. And now, ladies
and gentlemen, David Blaine!Copy !req
239. Hello, my children... twah.Copy !req
240. Ladies and Gentlemen,
may we have silence, please,Copy !req
241. as magician David Blaine
will now eat his own head.Copy !req
242. Dude, no way!Copy !req
243. Thank you, everyone... twah.Copy !req
244. Our organization
grows larger every day.Copy !req
245. Soon the government
will even have to give usCopy !req
246. tax-exempt status
as a bona fide religion.Copy !req
247. Hold!Copy !req
248. - It's Jesus!
- Is that Jesus?Copy !req
249. What's he doing here?Copy !req
250. My children,
it is time for you to go homeCopy !req
251. and stop following
this false prophet.Copy !req
252. You should be using your money
and time for other things.Copy !req
253. These are simple magic tricks.Copy !req
254. His magic is interesting, but
will it put food on your table?Copy !req
255. Feeding the hungry,
now that is a miracle!Copy !req
256. Behold. I have here fives loaves
of bread and three fish.Copy !req
257. Certainly not enough
to feed this entire crowd,Copy !req
258. but now — turn around.Copy !req
259. You need to turn around.Copy !req
260. Okay, now turn back.Copy !req
261. Now, how the hell
did he do that?Copy !req
262. - Wow!
- Wow!Copy !req
263. Your magic is old and outdated,
Jesus... twah.Copy !req
264. - Just like you are.
- Oh, really?Copy !req
265. Then what's this ace of spades
doing behind your ear?Copy !req
266. - Whoa.
- Nice. Ooh!Copy !req
267. - Whoa!
- Wow!Copy !req
268. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
269. He's incredible!Copy !req
270. The old religions
have failed you... twah.Copy !req
271. What have they offered except
for war, poverty, and sadness?Copy !req
272. Blaintology offers you the keyCopy !req
273. to living your life
to the fullest!Copy !req
274. Will you join us?Copy !req
275. Yes!Copy !req
276. His magic is too powerful,
Stanley.Copy !req
277. I've never seen
anything like it.Copy !req
278. Then what are we gonna do?
- I cannot face him alone.Copy !req
279. We must get the help
of all the Super Best Friends.Copy !req
280. Buddha — Buddha, come in!Copy !req
281. "Super Best Friends"?Copy !req
282. This is Buddha, Jesus.
Go ahead.Copy !req
283. Buddha, we may have a problem.Copy !req
284. I've just encountered a magic
I've never seen before.Copy !req
285. I'll call everyone together.Copy !req
286. Come as fast as you can.Copy !req
287. Come, Stanley.
We must travel far and long.Copy !req
288. To where?
- Distances unfathomable to man.Copy !req
289. Yea, take hold
of my robe, Stanley,Copy !req
290. and do not open your eyes.Copy !req
291. I am ready.Copy !req
292. Are you still
keeping your eyes closed?Copy !req
293. Yeah.
- Good. You want some peanuts?Copy !req
294. Congratulations, sister.Copy !req
295. You have heard the noble truth
and are now a Blaintologist.Copy !req
296. Everyone!
Everyone, gather around!Copy !req
297. I have great news
for all BlaintologistsCopy !req
298. and for our new members, as well.Copy !req
299. We've just gotten word
from Mr. Blaine himself.Copy !req
300. The government has denied
our church's requestCopy !req
301. for tax-exempt status!Copy !req
302. But we want
tax-exempt status.Copy !req
303. Yeah, why is that good news?Copy !req
304. Because Mr. Blaine has arranged
for all Blaintologist membersCopy !req
305. from every city and state
to march into WashingtonCopy !req
306. and demand our right
for tax-exempt statusCopy !req
307. by committing a mass suicide!Copy !req
308. Mass suicide?Copy !req
309. Mr. Blaine has said that by
killing ourselves in Washington,Copy !req
310. we are guaranteed everlasting
happiness in the afterlife!Copy !req
311. Get your things ready.
We leave for Washington at dawn!Copy !req
312. Did you hear that, guys?
We're finally gonna die!Copy !req
313. All right, Stanley.
You can open your eyes now.Copy !req
314. This is the Hall of the
Super Best Friends, Stanley.Copy !req
315. The headquarters for those
who stand for what's right.Copy !req
316. Jesus! We've been working hard
since we got your distress call.Copy !req
317. Who the kid?Copy !req
318. Stanley, I want you to meet
some of the Super Best Friends.Copy !req
319. Buddha, with the powers
of invisibility.Copy !req
320. Muhammad, the Muslim prophet
with the powers of flame.Copy !req
321. Krishna, the Hindu deity.Copy !req
322. Joseph Smith,
the Mormon prophet.Copy !req
323. Lao-tzu, the found of Taoism.Copy !req
324. And Sea Man, with the ability
to breathe underwaterCopy !req
325. and link mentally with fish.Copy !req
326. So you mean to tell me
that even though people fightCopy !req
327. and argue over
different religions,Copy !req
328. you guys are all
actually friends?Copy !req
329. More than friends, young boy.Copy !req
330. We are Super Best FriendsCopy !req
331. with the desire
to fight for justice.Copy !req
332. We all believe in the power
of good over evil.Copy !req
333. Except for Buddha, of course,Copy !req
334. who doesn't really
believe in evil.Copy !req
335. Wow.Copy !req
336. Jesus!
Come look at this.Copy !req
337. After your distress call,
we entered David BlaineCopy !req
338. into the Super Best Friends
computer.Copy !req
339. Many interesting things
showed up.Copy !req
340. He was raised in New York City
by a decent familyCopy !req
341. but a freak washing-machine accidentCopy !req
342. at the age of 12 made him learn
the ways of the black arts.Copy !req
343. That's right, Seaman.Copy !req
344. Sea Man!Copy !req
345. Uh, that's what I said —
Seaman.Copy !req
346. Stop it!Copy !req
347. Cartman!Copy !req
348. Cartman, wake up.
Cartman.Copy !req
349. No, Paula Poundstone,
leave me alone!Copy !req
350. - Aah! Uh...
- It's just me.Copy !req
351. Brother Kyle.
Why do you disturb my rest?Copy !req
352. Dude. I don't think I want to
be part of this anymore.Copy !req
353. What?Copy !req
354. I think Stan might've been right.Copy !req
355. Anyway, I think
it's going too far.Copy !req
356. I mean, if I kill myself, it's
gonna make my family really sad.Copy !req
357. Yeah, I know what you mean.
I don't want to die either.Copy !req
358. I haven't even
gotten my pubes yet.Copy !req
359. I think we should bail.Copy !req
360. If we leave the group,Copy !req
361. maybe other people will get
the courage to leave, too.Copy !req
362. That cou— That could be
difficult, Brother Kyle.Copy !req
363. But all right, listen —
Why don't we sleep on it?Copy !req
364. If we decide
to leave the faction,Copy !req
365. we can do it in the morning.Copy !req
366. Okay.
Okay, you're right.Copy !req
367. Oh, Cartman?
Thanks.Copy !req
368. Cartman?Copy !req
369. What the hell?Copy !req
370. I told on you!Copy !req
371. I told on you!Copy !req
372. What have you done, Cartman?Copy !req
373. This is for your own good,
Brother Kyle.Copy !req
374. You must understand,
brother Kyle... twah.Copy !req
375. You know too much
about the church.Copy !req
376. If you left now, you'd become
a danger to our cause.Copy !req
377. And you know
what else Kyle said?Copy !req
378. Um, Kyle,Copy !req
379. he said that if we were
all gonna commit suicide,Copy !req
380. that he wouldn't do it.Copy !req
381. Cartman, you fat-ass tattletale!Copy !req
382. At least I'm not the boy
in the plastic bubble.Copy !req
383. The suicide pact
will go as planned.Copy !req
384. If we die, we all die together.Copy !req
385. Meanwhile, at the
Hall of Super Best Friends...Copy !req
386. Look at that, Jesus.Copy !req
387. His followers are growing
at a rate even faster than mine.Copy !req
388. It appears this David Blaine
is as dangerousCopy !req
389. as you and your young friend
had feared.Copy !req
390. I knew it!Copy !req
391. Here, I have a videotape of his
performance the other night.Copy !req
392. Perhaps we should have
Moses look at the tapeCopy !req
393. and see what he comes up with.Copy !req
394. Moses, scan this tape.Copy !req
395. Can you tell us the source
of Blaine's power?Copy !req
396. Give me the information.Copy !req
397. Wow! The Moses.Copy !req
398. His magic is a combination
of centrifugal lineCopy !req
399. and sleight of hand.Copy !req
400. Wait a minute.Copy !req
401. I'm picking up movementCopy !req
402. from Blaintologists
all over the country.Copy !req
403. The Blaintologists
are heading to Washington.Copy !req
404. - But why?
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
405. At his performance, David Blaine
said something aboutCopy !req
406. trying to get
tax-exempt status.Copy !req
407. - Oh, my God!
- What?Copy !req
408. If he gets tax-exempt status,Copy !req
409. then he'll become a real religion.Copy !req
410. He would become unstoppable.Copy !req
411. Meanwhile,
in the Nation's Capitol,Copy !req
412. Blaintologists from
all over the countryCopy !req
413. have gathered
to commit mass suicide!Copy !req
414. If the government will not
give us tax-exempt status,Copy !req
415. then we must prove
that we are willing to dieCopy !req
416. for our beliefs... twah.Copy !req
417. All right, brothers and sisters,
gather around.Copy !req
418. It's time to drown ourselves
in the reflecting pool.Copy !req
419. However, the reflecting pool
is a little more shallowCopy !req
420. than we originally thought,
so to drown ourselves,Copy !req
421. you will need to
lie on your stomach facedownCopy !req
422. until you die, as such.Copy !req
423. Next!Copy !req
424. Meanwhile,
at the White House...Copy !req
425. Mr. President, we can't let them
all kill themselves.Copy !req
426. Well, we can't give them
tax-exempt status either, Karl!Copy !req
427. Hey, George!
What's going on?Copy !req
428. All right, Brother Kyle,
it is time for us to die!Copy !req
429. Cartman! We've been brainwashed,
don't you see?Copy !req
430. We don't have to do this!Copy !req
431. But it's the only way
for us to be happy.Copy !req
432. Cartman, no!Copy !req
433. Give us what we want or we will
continue to die... twah.Copy !req
434. Not so fast, David Blaine.Copy !req
435. Jesus! Not again.Copy !req
436. Yes! But this time,
I've brought some help.Copy !req
437. Super Best Friends, ho!Copy !req
438. - Buddha!
- Muhammad!Copy !req
439. - Joseph Smith!
- Krishna!Copy !req
440. - Lao-tzu!
- Sea Man!Copy !req
441. The mass suicide is over,
Blaine, and so are you!Copy !req
442. I don't think so.
Get them!Copy !req
443. My ice breath
should take care of you.Copy !req
444. Kyle! Kyle!Copy !req
445. Sweet salvation!Copy !req
446. Kyle?Copy !req
447. Oh, my God!
They killed Kenny!Copy !req
448. You bastards!Copy !req
449. Kyle?Copy !req
450. Oh, my God!
They killed Kenny!Copy !req
451. You bastards!Copy !req
452. Oh, my God!
They killed Kenny!Copy !req
453. - That takes care of them.
- Now it's your turn, Blaine!Copy !req
454. Perhaps you need to see
some real magic.Copy !req
455. Raaargh!Copy !req
456. Oh, this looks like trouble.Copy !req
457. So long, Super Best Fools!Copy !req
458. - Kyle!
- Stan!Copy !req
459. - Kyle, you can't kill yourself!
- I don't want to kill myself!Copy !req
460. They rigged this thing
to fill with water!Copy !req
461. We've got to stop
that oversized Abraham Lincoln!Copy !req
462. Muhammad!Copy !req
463. - Aargh!
- Aah!Copy !req
464. Great Scott!Copy !req
465. Okay, try again.Copy !req
466. Hyup!Copy !req
467. It is too powerful, Jesus!Copy !req
468. It seems to have no weakness.Copy !req
469. There has to be a way
to destroy it.Copy !req
470. Jesus to Moses!Copy !req
471. Meanwhile, at the
Super Best Friends League...Copy !req
472. - Come in, Moses!
- What?Copy !req
473. We need to know how to kill
a giant, stone Abraham Lincoln.Copy !req
474. Um...Copy !req
475. Let me, um...Copy !req
476. A giant, stone
John Wilkes Booth?Copy !req
477. You heard him,
Super Best Friends!Copy !req
478. We've got to make a giant,
stone John Wilkes Booth!Copy !req
479. Krishna, we're going
to need wood for a mold!Copy !req
480. Form of — a beaver!Copy !req
481. I will find sources of concrete.Copy !req
482. You, get the water
to mix it with, Seaman.Copy !req
483. Using the wood that
Krishna cut down as a beaver,Copy !req
484. Jesus uses
his master carpentry skillsCopy !req
485. to make a giant mold.Copy !req
486. That should do the trick.
Now for some concrete.Copy !req
487. Meanwhile, in the ocean depths,Copy !req
488. Seaman seeks out water
to mix with the concrete.Copy !req
489. Sea Man!Copy !req
490. Look, Swallow, we should be able
to divert the waterCopy !req
491. with that pipe.Copy !req
492. And so Seaman and SwallowCopy !req
493. get to — get to work, heh.Copy !req
494. Kyle, you have to
hold your breath!Copy !req
495. Oh, very funny.Copy !req
496. Lao-tzu, bring it to life.Copy !req
497. Using his power of Taoism,Copy !req
498. Lao-tzu becomes one with the
giant, stone John Wilkes Booth.Copy !req
499. Barp!Copy !req
500. Ah!Copy !req
501. It worked.Copy !req
502. Now freeze over the pool so no
one else can drown themselves!Copy !req
503. - Whoa!
- Whoa!Copy !req
504. Hey, I was just about to do it!Copy !req
505. Later,
at the exact same location...Copy !req
506. Damn you, Super Best Friends!Copy !req
507. Your magic is no match for
our powers combined, Blaine!Copy !req
508. Then I guess you win this time,
Super Best Fools!Copy !req
509. But I'll be back!Copy !req
510. Twaah.Copy !req
511. God damn it!Copy !req
512. It's all right.
Everything is as it should be.Copy !req
513. Oh, shut up, Buddha.Copy !req
514. Our leader, he's —
he's leaving us.Copy !req
515. Don't leave us, David Blaine!Copy !req
516. Listen up, everyone.Copy !req
517. You don't need David Blaine
to tell you how to live.Copy !req
518. You see, cults are dangerous
because they promise you hope,Copy !req
519. happiness,
and maybe even an afterlife.Copy !req
520. But in return,
they demand you pay money.Copy !req
521. Any religion that
requires you to pay moneyCopy !req
522. in order to move up
and learn its tenets is wrong.Copy !req
523. You see, all religions have
something valuable to teach,Copy !req
524. but just like
the Super Best Friends learned,Copy !req
525. it requires
a little bit of them all.Copy !req
526. He's right.
He — He's right!Copy !req
527. Thanks for saving me, Stan.
You're my Super Best Friend.Copy !req
528. Your my Super Best Friend, too,
Kyle.Copy !req
529. Oh, that's so sweet, you guys.Copy !req
530. You want to go get a room
so you can make out for a while?Copy !req
531. Ow!
Jesus! What was that for?Copy !req
532. Ow! Ow! Stop it! Ow!Copy !req
533. Well, it looks like
everything worked out.Copy !req
534. And so Jesus and his
companions leave Washington.Copy !req
535. But their return is assured,Copy !req
536. for there will
always be a need forCopy !req
537. the Super Best Friends!Copy !req