Smiling Friends 1x7

Directed by

Harry Partridge as 3D Squelton (voice) • Lyle Rath as Angry Dent-Headed Racist / Warren Buffett (voice) • Lyle Rath as Mr. Man / Warren Buffett

A rival business moves across the street, much to the boss's dismay. Nuff said.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. No calls today.

2. That's unusual.

3. You know, I was just reading about how the...

4. Renaissance Men are coming in town.

5. Oh, who are they? Who's the Renaissance Men?

6. Um... oh, it just says here that the Renaissance Men

7. are coming in town, and by the looks of it,

8. it's, like, super soon.

9. It's, like, really soon.

10. Who are the Renaissance Men?

11. I don't know who they are.

12. Like the Renaissance fair?

13. Dude, I'm just telling — Look, I've just telling you

14. what I'm reading here, man. That's all I know.

15. You know as much as I know. I'm just reading off this thing.

16. It says the Renaissance Men are coming in town really soon.

17. Okay.

18. I just don't know what that means.

19. I don't know what that is.

20. I think it's that.

21. Ah. Well, well, well.

22. The Smiling Friends. We meet at last.

23. Hi. Who are you guys?

24. I am Grim, and this is Gnarly.

25. We're the Frowning Friends. And we just moved in yesterday.

26. How peculiar.

27. Well, nice to meet you.

28. So what exactly do you guys do?

29. So what do you guys even do?

30. Shut up, man.

31. Good one, Gnarly. I love you.

32. And I love you, Grim.

33. Let's leave these smiling fools to it.

34. That's not even a real laugh.

35. Don't worry, Charlie.

36. I'm sure The Boss will know what to do about this.

37. Fuck. Fuck!

38. Excuse me, Mr. Boss.

39. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. One sec, one sec.

40. God damn it!

41. Okay, go. What's up?

42. We just wanted to bring to your attention

43. that a new company moved in across the street

44. called the Frowning Friends, and we just wanted...

45. Frowning... Friends?

46. Yeah.

47. Should we be worried?

48. No, don't fret, young Pim.

49. It's just a little bit of friendly competition.

50. Okay, great. Well, then there's no time to waste, Charlie.

51. Let's go out there and make people smile!

52. Oh, like, I did not think he was gonna do that.

53. That's scared me. That actually scared me a little bit.

54. Anyways, I'll see you later, man.

55. Pim, why can't we just wait for jobs

56. to come into the office, like we normally do?

57. Come on, Charlie. Now that we've got competition,

58. we can't afford to sit around in the break room all day.

59. We've got to get out there and get our hands dirty.

60. I'll knock your head off, man.

61. I'll knock your head off and roll on it if you ever insult me again.

62. What about this guy?

63. Hello, sir. Why the long face?

64. Oh, yeah, I'm kind of, like, friggin' pissed off, man.

65. I always wanted to be something of an artist, man.

66. But no one wants to, you know,

67. listen to my friggin', um...

68. my shit and stuff, man.

69. And it makes me angry, man.

70. I don't mind it. You just need to keep working hard on it,

71. and you'll definitely find an audience.

72. Practice makes perfect.

73. Hey, I just remembered. You two little critters told me

74. that it would be easier if I just quit making music

75. and gave the freak up and stuff, man.

76. No, we've never spoken to you, sir.

77. Yeah, no, I've met you two, man. I friggin' met you two.

78. You're Grim, and you're Gnarly and stuff, man.

79. Oh.

80. All right, look, I see what's going on.

81. Now, look, those are just two guys who look like us.

82. Yeah, they just look like us.

83. Man, shut up, man.

84. You're trying to trick me, man.

85. Put smoke into my friggin' head and shit, man.

86. Not at all, man.

87. Man, I don't know what to think no more, man!

88. Okay, okay. Let's de-escalate.

89. No one's messing with your head.

90. Get out of me head!

91. Get out of me head!

92. Nobody's messing with your head, man.

93. Nobody's messing with...

94. Hello, Mr. Man.

95. We were just wondering if you needed cheering up today.

96. Well, the shape of my head causes me

97. constant mental anguish.

98. Does it sound like I need cheering up?

99. Yeah, a little bit.

100. In fact, didn't you two just come by and tell me

101. I should feel bad about my disgusting head shape

102. and shouldn't do anything to address it?

103. God damn it, man. They've gotten everyone.

104. No, sir, that wasn't us.

105. Your head is stunning, by the way.

106. No, I've definitely seen you two before.

107. You're — You're trying to mess with me.

108. Get out of my head. Get out of my head!

109. Get out of my head, man! Get out of my head, man!

110. Nobody's messing with your head.

111. Look, Pim, I get what's going on here.

112. They're the Bizarro versions of us. That's fine.

113. But what's their end game? What's the point of this?

114. It's just pissing me off now.

115. Let's try one more, Charlie. What about that guy?

116. Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo-hoo!

117. Hey, there, little guy.

118. What's got you upset?

119. Oh, boo-hoo.

120. It's just that the world is so damn rotten.

121. There's so much hate and evil.

122. 3D Squeldon just doesn't see a point in living anymore.

123. What's the point? Oh, boo-hoo-hoo!

124. Is there anything that does make - you feel better, 3 - D Squeldon?

125. 3D Squeldon likes balloons.

126. Well, there you go. Balloon maker, right there.

127. Why don't you just get your license?

128. I'm sure a balloon profession will put

129. a big old smile on your face.

130. Yeah, it kind of does.

131. Ah, yes, but think about how much time and energy

132. it would take to become a balloon salesman.

133. And it doesn't matter because you will die one day.

134. Oh, no, but think about how good it'd feel

135. once you finally did get the license.

136. But did you know that all of Earth's helium

137. is running out and will be completely depleted

138. within 15 to 20 years?

139. Is that actually true?

140. We only tell the truth, even when it hurts.

141. Any time you feel like

142. changing your life for the better,

143. give us a call, and we'll put a frown on that face.

144. Okay,

145. Charlie, I don't — I don't think these guys

146. want friendly competition with us at all.

147. Dude, I just looked at the helium thing

148. he was talking about. That's true.

149. That's, like, 100%. Everything he said was true.

150. It's all gonna be gone.

151. All right, guys. Things are looking pretty bleak.

152. I'm down $2.4 billion

153. since this new company moved in across the street.

154. Any ideas?

155. Don't worry, Mr. M.

156. I had a similar problem when I acquired Wrigley's gum.

157. You should just buy more stocks.

158. Well, when the American public discovered

159. I'd been filling my peanuts up with toxic pesticides,

160. I decided to go on "The Dick Cavett Show"

161. and do a little peanut jig.

162. Yes, that's what you need, is a peanut jig of your own.

163. Yes, a peanut jig of your own. Yes.

164. Well, I don't know what that peanut or that fellow

165. over there are saying, but I believe you should try

166. to win back the marketplace

167. with a more competitive business model.

168. Oh, wow, What a great idea!

169. Not!

170. Why did you invite us here in the first place

171. if you won't listen to our advice?

172. None of you are any help. Just get out.

173. Get out now! Bah!

174. Mr. Boss?

175. You all right?

176. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, Alan.

177. Just having fun.

178. Why don't you go find a piece of cheese

179. or something, man?

180. I can't think with all this ruckus around me.

181. I just need to go to my thinking room for a little while.

182. Frowning Friends, of course.

183. Fuck, it's genius.

184. Why didn't I think of that?

185. Look at yourself. Weak.

186. Looter. You deserve nothing.

187. Oh! Oh!

188. You know what you must do.

189. I-I can't.

190. You must!

191. I really can't. It's not right.

192. You must!

193. Perhaps you're right.

194. Perhaps I should do what I should have done from the start.

195. Yeah, it came out — Like I said,

196. it came out, like, green and chunky.

197. I've never seen it like that before.

198. Yeah, like I said, I'm not a doctor,

199. so you should probably talk to someone who understands

200. that stuff more.

201. Hey, what's with all the people?

202. And that is why you shouldn't try

203. to better your life — because you might fail.

204. So it's easier to frown.

205. That's not true!

206. Help, help! That rotten pink man is trying to bully

207. a mentally ill man like myself.

208. Guards, seize them.

209. Alan? Glep?

210. They have a better 401(k). Sorry.

211. But I just have to note

212. that it was only Pim that yelled something.

213. I didn't say anything. Oh!

214. Now witness the brutal cruelties of reality.

215. Don't look, Charlie.

216. Is this really supposed to be —

217. I mean, I've seen way worse stuff than this on the Internet.

218. I don't...

219. My brothers, now the next step of our plan shall commence.

220. You must all go and spread the word of frowning.

221. Pretty soon, everyone will embrace sadness,

222. and there'll be no such thing as smiling.

223. And once that's done, we can finally eradicate

224. all the Puerto Ricans on the planet.

225. Yeah!

226. Huh? Huh?

227. I mean make everyone on the planet frown.

228. Yeah!

229. Nothing matters because we're all gonna die someday!

230. Hey!

231. No, no, no. Please don't kill me. Please.

232. I don't want to die. Please don't kill me!

233. Please don't!

234. Relax, man.

235. I was just gonna shoot you in the head and kill you.

236. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, man.

237. They don't think nothing matters at all, man.

238. He was scared to die and stuff, man.

239. What the fuck? Man, that makes me angry, man.

240. 3D Squeldon hates lies! Boo-hoo!

241. I actually wanted to kill the Puerto Ricans.

242. Riiight.

243. Kinda cringe.

244. Do we still have to detain you?

245. Probably not, man. I think the guy pissed in his pants.

246. Hey, hey, hey. Don't cry.

247. You should be happy that your idea was so good

248. that it drove me bonkers with jealousy.

249. That's kind of cool, huh?

250. Oh!

251. Wow. Smiling feels good.

252. Ooh! Ooh!

253. Ooh-hoo-hoo!

254. Ooh-hoo-hoo! Ooh!

255. This is a beautiful ending.

256. Fire!

257. Run!

258. Charlie, what was that? What just happened?

259. Oh, the Renaissance Men came into town finally.

260. I literally told you at the beginning

261. the Renaissance Men were coming into town.

262. And you didn't believe me.

263. You knew they were gonna come

264. and kill Grim and Gnarly with arrows and stuff?

265. No, no. I didn't know that was gonna happen.

266. Who are the Renaissance Men? I don't know what that means,

267. 'cause that's not Renaissance.

268. But they didn't look like Renaissance... men.

269. I literally — I don't know.

270. That's, like, a completely different era.

271. I literally told you the extent of my knowledge.

272. I knew that the Renaissance Men were coming into town.

273. That's it.

274. Okay.

275. Yeah. So...

276. Goblin caught on tape.