Robot Chicken 1x16

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Jaws gets a special edition DVD. A drug operation at the North Pole is revealed in "Unsolved Case Files: Claus & Effect." The A-Team solves its problems with maximum firepower and minimal intelligence.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

2. - IT'S ALIVE!

3. - PAC?

4. - BIGGIE!

5. - GOOD MORNING, BETSY. HOW'S IT COMING?

6. - HUH? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

7. - IT'S... A LITTLE GAY.

8. HEY AGAIN, BETSY.

9. WHAT'S THE NEW IDEA FOR TODAY?

10. - YOU CRAZY, GIRL. YOU CRAZY.

11. OK, BETSY. WHAT CAN YOU SHOW ME TODAY?

12. - WELL...

13. - AH, CRAP.

14. AND I GUESS IT'LL HAVE TO DO.

15. - EXCUSE ME, MISS.

16. - WHOA. AREN'T YOU THAT SUBWAY GUY

17. WHO USED TO BE A BIG, FAT SLOB?

18. WHAT'S THE NAME... JERRY?

19. - JARED. HI. UH, IS THERE A RESTROOM HERE?

20. UH, I MUST'VE PASSED OUT FROM THE STRAIN

21. OF PUSHING THAT ENORMOUS LOG OUT OF MY BUTT.

22. DID MY DOOKIE FUMES CLEAR OUT THE WHOLE BAKERY?

23. I'M LOCKED IN! I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEKEND

24. WITH NOTHING TO EAT BUT—BUT...

25. SO... DELICIOUS.

26. NO! I MUST STAY ON MY DIET.

27. I'M A CORPORATE SPOKESMAN. HERO TO MILLIONS.

28. I MUST—I MUST...

29. - MY BAKERY! IT'S RUINED!

30. I ONLY LOCKED UP 10 MINUTES AGO!

31. I'M CALLING THE POLICE.

32. - WAIT A MINUTE.

33. YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE.

34. WE CAN WORK THIS OUT LIKE—

35. - UGH!

36. - ... MISSING SINCE LAST TUESDAY...

37. - ONE, TWO-WHO...

38. - I WANT TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

39. - RAHH!

40. - DECEMBER 24, 4:30 PM, CHRISTMAS EVE.

41. A TIME FOR JOYOUS CELEBRATION.

42. A TIME FOR GIFT GIVING, FOR PEACE AND LOVE.

43. A TIME FOR MURDER.

44. IT WAS THE CHRISTMAS THAT MADE EVERYONE CRY—

45. EXCEPT FOR MAYBE THE JEWS,

46. BUT WHEN THE EVIDENCE POINTED TO MURDER,

47. THE QUESTION ON EVERYONE'S MIND BECAME "WHO KILLED CHRISTMAS?"

48. - BLEECH!

49. - PERHAPS NO ONE CAN SHED LIGHT ON THIS MYSTERY

50. MORE THAN MARTHA CLAUS,

51. THE VICTIM'S WIFE OF 43 YEARS.

52. - WE STAYED TOGETHER MOSTLY DUE TO LICENSING ISSUES.

53. I DOUBT HE WOULD'VE GOTTEN ANY SPONSORSHIP DEALS

54. IF HE WERE A DIVORCED SINGLE MAN LIVING WITH A BUNCH OF ELVES.

55. THEY'D THINK HE WAS GAY.

56. - CRUSHED BY GRIEF,

57. THE WIDOW CLAUS HAS KEPT A LOW PROFILE SINCE THE MURDER.

58. BUT NOT ALL WAS WARMTH AND LOVE AT THE NORTH POLE.

59. DEEP INSIDE SANTA'S FABLED WORKSHOP,

60. DISCONTENT HAD BEGUN TO SPREAD

61. AMONG THE ANDROGYNOUS ELVIN WORKFORCE.

62. - IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE COKE, MAN.

63. SANTA HAD US ELVES HIDE THE BLOW IN THE CRAPPY WOODEN TOYS.

64. THEN HE'D MAKE THE DROP...

65. - GIVE IT TO ME! TOY! GIMME, GIMME TOY!

66. GIVE IT TO ME! TOY! GIMME, GIMME TOY!

67. - AND THE SALE WAS COMPLETE.

68. - OOH.

69. - HE TRIED USING SOME DIFFERENT WAYS TO SNEAK THE PRODUCT IN.

70. YOU EVER SEE A YETI WHEN A DOZEN CONDOMS OF COKE

71. BURST IN HIS BELLY?

72. - AAH!

73. - IT'S A BAD SCENE, MAN.

74. - WERE THE ALLEGATIONS TRUE?

75. SANTA CLAUS AN INTERNATIONAL DRUG PEDDLER?

76. - DRUGS, THAT WASN'T NO SECRET.

77. BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE FAT MAN'S REAL PROBLEM WAS—

78. WHEN SOME OF THE SHIPMENTS

79. STARTED TO TURN UP A LITTLE LIGHT.

80. FOLLOW ME? SOMEBODY STARTED HAVING LITTLE PRIVATE PARTIES,

81. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? I THINK YOU DO.

82. AS FOR WHO, WELL YOU EVER WONDER HOW HIS NOSE GOT SO RED?

83. - PUNISHMENT WAS SWIFT

84. FOR ANYONE WHO DARED CROSS THE BOSS.

85. - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

86. - FOR ANYONE CAUGHT BEING NAUGHTY AT THE NORTH POLE.

87. - HAPPY BIRTHDAY—OOH!

88. - WHO KILLED SANTA CLAUS?

89. A NEGLECTED HOUSEWIFE? COLUMBIAN DRUG RUNNERS?

90. SOME RETARD SNOWMAN?

91. WE MAY NEVER KNOW WHO KILLED SANTA CLAUS,

92. BUT WHOEVER DID IS STILL OUT THERE...

93. WATCHING, WAITING.

94. WHO'S NEXT? THE EATER BUNNY? CUPID?

95. THAT LUCKY CHARM'S CEREAL GUY?

96. WHO'S TO SAY?

97. BUT WHEN IT DOES HAPPEN,

98. "UNSOLVED CASE FILES" WILL BE THERE TO MAKE A BUCK.

99. NEXT TIME ON "UNSOLVED CASE FILES,"

100. THE TACO BELL CHIHUAHUA'S CASTRATION...

101. SIMPLE NEUTERING OR HATE CRIME?

102. - YO QUIERO MY NUTS!

103. - COME AND GET SOME!

104. - WHAT'S WRONG, HERMAN?

105. - OOH, I'M CONSTIPATED, PICKLES.

106. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN GIVE ME FOR THAT?

107. - YEAH.

108. - UGH!

109. - SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE

110. I JUST KICKED YOUR ASS!

111. - BRANDON, YOU ARE SO GROUNDED.

112. - "JAWS" WAS A MASTERPIECE OF SUSPENSE AND TERROR

113. BECAUSE OF HOW LITTLE YOU SAW THE SHARK ITSELF,

114. BUT THAT'S NOT THE WAY I WANTED IT.

115. THE DAMN MECHANICAL SHARK DIDN'T WORK.

116. AS A RESULT, I HAD TO RELEASE A MOVIE

117. THAT WAS ONLY A QUARTER DONE.

118. NOW, THANKS TO COMPUTER GRAPHICS,

119. I CAN BRING MY TRUE VISION TO LIFE.

120. - $10,000 FOR ME BY MYSELF.

121. FOR THAT YOU GET THE HEAD, THE TAIL, THE WHOLE DAMN THING.

122. - I SAY WE LET HIM GO.

123. - GET OUT OF THE WATER!

124. - "THE SPECIAL EDITION,"

125. FEATURES OVER 100 ALTERED SCENES.

126. - THERE HE IS, CHIEF! THROW IT! THROW IT!

127. - YOU ACTUALLY GET A FEEL FOR THE SHARK'S PERSONALITY.

128. - YOU MISSED ME, YOU DRIED UP DOUCHEBAGS!

129. - OW! MY TIBIA!

130. - AH, YOU BASTARD! AH, YOU BASTARD!

131. - TRUST ME, THIS IS A WHOLE NEW SET OF "JAWS."

132. - SMILE, YOU SON OF A BITCH.

133. - EVERYONE'S PLAYING THE BRAND-NEW GAME

134. THAT'S FUR-OCIOUSLY FUN.

135. - YEAH! - YEAH!

136. I'M HAVING FUN!

137. UH-OH. EUTHANASIA.

138. - EUTHANASIA!

139. - THE CIRCLE OF LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN THIS EXCITING.

140. - WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH ALL THESE KITTENS?

141. - EUTHANASIA!

142. - MY PIT BULL RIPPED A FACE OFF A TODDLER.

143. - TIME TO PUT HIM DOWN.

144. - I CAN RETRAIN HIM.

145. - NO. EUTHANASIA! - NO. EUTHANASIA!

146. - MY FATHER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED

147. BECAUSE HE REFUSES TO PAY PROTECTION MONEY

148. TO A BUNCH OF THUGS!

149. - UGH.

150. - SORRY, LADY, WE'RE GONNA PASS ON THIS ONE.

151. - BUT—BUT...

152. - ALL RIGHT. WHO'S OUR NEXT APPOINTMENT?

153. - MY FATHER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED

154. BECAUSE HE REFUSES TO PAY PROTECTION MONEY

155. TO A BUNCH OF THUGS!

156. - LADY, YOU JUST HIRED THE A-TEAM.

157. - I AIN'T FLYING, HANNIBAL. NO WAY, NO HOW.

158. - THAT'S SOUNDS PERFECTLY REASONABLE, B.A.

159. NOW CALM DOWN AND HAVE SOME NICE MILK.

160. - GLUG! GLUG!

161. MMM. MILK.

162. GOOD FOR THE BONES. GOOD FOR THE KIDS.

163. I PITY THE FOOL WHO AIN'T GO NO CALCIUM IN HIS DIET.

164. - MURDOCK, WE DRUGGED THE MILK!

165. - YOU KNOW, YEARS OF DRUGGED MILK

166. CAN HAVE UNFORTUNATE SIDE EFFECTS.

167. - OH, YEAH? LIKE WHAT, MURDOCK?

168. - SEVERE LACTOSE INTOLERANCE.

169. I DON'T LIKE CHEESE.

170. - CAN YOU ROLL DOWN THE WINDOWS

171. IN A HELICOPTER?

172. - THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG TRIP.

173. - I WANT MY RUBBER DUCKIE.

174. - OK, FACE, INFILTRATE THE OFFICE

175. AND STEAL THEIR FILES.

176. - EASY AS PIE.

177. GREETINGS. IS THIS WHERE THE THUGS

178. AND/OR CRIMINALS HANG OUT,

179. BECAUSE I, TOO, AM A THUG AND/OR CRIMINAL.

180. - HOLY CRAP, IT'S FACE MAN FROM THE A-TEAM!

181. - GET HIM!

182. - HANNIBAL, THEY'RE ONTO US!

183. - EASY, BOYS. WE SURRENDER.

184. - WE'RE GONNA COME BACK

185. - AND DEAL WITH YOU HEROES LATER.

186. - ALL RIGHT. LET'S ASSESS THE SITUATION.

187. - I FOUND A LAWNMOWER.

188. - I FOUND SOME THIMBLES.

189. - I FOUND JESUS!

190. - LET'S SHOW THESE PUNKS WHAT IT MEANS

191. TO MESS WITH THE A-TEAM.

192. - OK, GANG.

193. LET'S GET FROGGY ON THESE TADPOLES.

194. NOW, ARE YOU GONNA LEAVE THAT OLD MAN

195. AND HIS DAUGHTER ALONE?

196. - YES! FOR GOD'S SAKE, YES!

197. - THAT'S ALL I NEEDED TO HEAR.

198. B.A., DO THE HONORS.

199. - I'M GONNA FLY YOU OUT ON KNUCKLE AIRLINES.

200. FIRST CLASS. UGH!

201. - MY AZALEAS!

202. - A-TEAM, YOU DID IT.

203. YOU SAVED OUR FAMILY BUSINESS.

204. - IT WAS OUR PLEASURE.

205. OH, AND BY THE WAY, THAT'LL BE $50,000.

206. - $50,000?

207. - OUR WHOLE BUSINESS IS ONLY WORTH 10,000!

208. WE'RE RUINED! RUINED!

209. - I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER.

210. - YOU GUYS ARE GREAT.

211. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

212. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—