1. Bobby.Copy !req
2. Bobby.Copy !req
3. Bobby is in, what I hope,
is not his deathbed.Copy !req
4. - More juice, crazier straw.
- Roger that.Copy !req
5. Hey, Son, are you sick?Copy !req
6. Don't kiss me, Dad. I
could be contagious.Copy !req
7. - Looks normal.
- Put that on my headstone, will you?Copy !req
8. You know, it frightens me to think
that we raised Bobby for 12 years...Copy !req
9. without the Internet.Copy !req
10. Parents without the internet
should have their children taken away.Copy !req
11. What's it say?Copy !req
12. He has cedar fever, or a sinus infection,
or he may be allergic to something else.Copy !req
13. I do not know.Copy !req
14. We have to take him to the doctor.Copy !req
15. How do you know it isn't just a runny
nose? His temperature's normal.Copy !req
16. You know, when I was his age, I painted the
living room with a separated shoulder.Copy !req
17. I am searching the Web
as fast as I can.Copy !req
18. Apparently, there is a local rock band
named Cedar Fever...Copy !req
19. and it's complicating my research.Copy !req
20. Strickland Propane.
Taste the meat, not the—Copy !req
21. Okay. There's
no time for that.Copy !req
22. Hank, I am over at the doctor's office
with Bobby.Copy !req
23. There is something
you will want to know right away.Copy !req
24. Is something wrong with—Copy !req
25. Get over here!Copy !req
26. Bobby, thank God! What happened?Copy !req
27. They were pricking my back with pins!Copy !req
28. You were getting an allergy test.Copy !req
29. You still want that Merlin tattoo?Copy !req
30. Hank, it's not good.
And it's about Bobby.Copy !req
31. Bobby's having an allergic reaction
to dander.Copy !req
32. Your wife tells me you have a dog.Copy !req
33. Slow down there, Charlie.Copy !req
34. Now, what does a dog
have to do with anything?Copy !req
35. Bobby's allergic to the dog.Copy !req
36. You said "dander." How do you know
that Peggy doesn't have the dander?Copy !req
37. Well, you're in that school with kids
from all over. She got lice once.Copy !req
38. Hank, the test was specifically
for dog dander.Copy !req
39. And you once came home from Mexico
with a butt worm!Copy !req
40. Allergies can come and go suddenly and
mysteriously. It's a fascinating field.Copy !req
41. You could try bathing Ladybird three
times a week, then vacuuming her.Copy !req
42. I already do that.Copy !req
43. Hank, that dog is going
out of the house.Copy !req
44. Look, if you want a dog inside,
it says right here...Copy !req
45. that there are several hypoallergenic
breeds of dog, such as poodles or hairless.Copy !req
46. A poodle?Copy !req
47. Why not go all the way and just get me
a cat and a sex change operation?Copy !req
48. Can't we just give Bobby something?Copy !req
49. You could give him daily shots.
But Bobby...Copy !req
50. We had enough trouble
with the pinpricks.Copy !req
51. There are pills, but
they don't often work.Copy !req
52. And their side effects include
drowsiness, hives and rectal bleeding.Copy !req
53. And most people find it much simpler
just to get rid of the dog.Copy !req
54. We'll try the pills.Copy !req
55. You just say the word and Ladybird
will die a mysterious death.Copy !req
56. I know several poisons
that have the meaty taste dogs love.Copy !req
57. You know, Hank, I could
take in Ladybird.Copy !req
58. She sniffed me once
and did not look displeased.Copy !req
59. Thanks, Bill, but Ladybird
deserves better than that.Copy !req
60. Oh, I know.Copy !req
61. When I was growing up, we had a dog that
we kept outside in its own little house.Copy !req
62. Hank doesn't want your old dog!Copy !req
63. No. Bill's right.
I could build Ladybird a doghouse.Copy !req
64. I was gonna build her one
when she was a puppy.Copy !req
65. But then Bobby came along
and I got sidetracked making a crib.Copy !req
66. Maybe this is the second chance
I've been waiting for.Copy !req
67. Now, if you have any suggestions
for improvements...Copy !req
68. make them now before
I file the permits.Copy !req
69. - It looks too small.
- It's a model, Dale.Copy !req
70. In that case, it's just right.Copy !req
71. Hank, Bobby's only breathing
through his mouth.Copy !req
72. I'm afraid to bring him lunch.Copy !req
73. Give Bobby some more pills.Copy !req
74. I still have to put in the baseboards
and bolt the walls to the foundation.Copy !req
75. Gee, Hank...Copy !req
76. I would love to give our son
another handful of pills...Copy !req
77. but he's been asleep for 18 hours.Copy !req
78. Look, I'm as concerned as you
are, Peggy, but I need more time.Copy !req
79. I can't have a dog in there
licking at exposed wiring.Copy !req
80. - The floor is warm.
- That's the radiant subfloor heating.Copy !req
81. You know, 80% of a dog's heat loss
is through its pads.Copy !req
82. Okay, that figure came
from the radiant-floor people...Copy !req
83. so it may be a little high.Copy !req
84. "Although we move you
into Barkingham Palace today...Copy !req
85. "we will always leave
a doggy door open into our hearts.Copy !req
86. "And we hope we have made your home
as wonderful as you have made ours...Copy !req
87. "these past 13 years."Copy !req
88. Okay, Luanne, the champagne.Copy !req
89. Forgive me.Copy !req
90. Push her in!Copy !req
91. We all came to see
the opening of a doghouse!Copy !req
92. This can't be easy.Copy !req
93. She's slept at the foot of our bed
for 13 years.Copy !req
94. - Don't blame Ladybird, blame me.
- Of course I blame you!Copy !req
95. I made the architects first mistake.
I designed it for me, not the client.Copy !req
96. I can do this fast, I promise.Copy !req
97. Okay, grand reopening in 36 hours.
This time, no gifts.Copy !req
98. Bill! Not today! Abort!Copy !req
99. I've got the backscratcher
close to the food dispenser...Copy !req
100. in case Ladybird wants to scratch
and eat at the same time.Copy !req
101. Hank, I can give her a good home.Copy !req
102. Ladybird won't go in her doghouse.Copy !req
103. And her doghouse is already better
than your house.Copy !req
104. Maybe instead of three,
you could take six or seven.Copy !req
105. Whatever.Copy !req
106. They're not doing much for the
dog hair, but watch this.Copy !req
107. Bobby, that cannot be good for you.Copy !req
108. Hank, it is only fair to warn you
that tomorrow I am shaving the dog.Copy !req
109. She is going out in the morning.
Just give her one last night.Copy !req
110. You know, the allergies won't clear up
right away.Copy !req
111. Ladybird's dander is
all over the house.Copy !req
112. We're gonna have to steam-clean the
furniture, probably replace the carpets.Copy !req
113. We'll have to wash, or dry-clean,
all of our clothes...Copy !req
114. then vacuum all over.Copy !req
115. You know, Ladybird hasn't
gone in the doghouse...Copy !req
116. so there's no dander in there.Copy !req
117. And the air filter would work better
in a small room.Copy !req
118. And for less than the cost
of cleaning the house...Copy !req
119. we could pay to have a second TV set
hooked up to the cable.Copy !req
120. Hank, the dog is not
getting a television.Copy !req
121. No. Peggy, don't be silly.Copy !req
122. What I was thinking was,
Bobby could live in the doghouse.Copy !req
123. Yeah, that'll work. Bobby's only 13.
He's young. It'll be fun for him.Copy !req
124. But Ladybird's 13.
She doesn't have much time left...Copy !req
125. and she's set in her ways.
Yep, that works all around.Copy !req
126. Ladybird! Daddy's got your din-din!Copy !req
127. It'll be like Tom Sawyer, Bobby.Copy !req
128. But instead of a raft,
you'll have a doghouse.Copy !req
129. Okay, Bobby. You've indulged
your father long enough.Copy !req
130. Now, get out. Get...Copy !req
131. He's not getting out.
He must be stuck. Hank!Copy !req
132. I'll take it!Copy !req
133. Bobby, honey, I do not know
what your father told you...Copy !req
134. but he has to love you
whether you move in or not!Copy !req
135. Mom, this is a perfect starter home.Copy !req
136. I like the neighborhood...Copy !req
137. I won't have to change schools,
and it's Connie-adjacent.Copy !req
138. Bobby's a big boy, Peggy.
Can't hang on forever.Copy !req
139. Time to move on, Mom.Copy !req
140. The courtesy of an invitation.
That's all I ask.Copy !req
141. Peggy, we couldn't
even fit in the door.Copy !req
142. Tony's Pizza will do nicely
until Dad installs my kitchen grill.Copy !req
143. I stole a bottle of
Chianti from my dad.Copy !req
144. I poured out the wine
so we can put a candle in it.Copy !req
145. - You can't beat that view of the alley.
- Yeah.Copy !req
146. Hey, Peggy Hill!Copy !req
147. Connie want to have
your Bobby over to play.Copy !req
148. You had him fixed, right?Copy !req
149. I'm glad you find my son's sickness
so amusing.Copy !req
150. If he were living in a plastic bubble, I
would be having lunch with Elton John.Copy !req
151. But because he is in a doghouse...Copy !req
152. Big laugh.Copy !req
153. You know what would be really funny?Copy !req
154. If Connie broke her leg!Copy !req
155. Oh, look. We got a letter from Bobby.Copy !req
156. Apparently, he can't make it to the
Gribbles' anniversary party. That's...Copy !req
157. Hank, people are starting to talk.Copy !req
158. Well, let them talk.
I say this is good for Bobby.Copy !req
159. He's learning a little bit about the
real world out there in the doghouse.Copy !req
160. And look at you
with the spiffiest new office in town.Copy !req
161. Yes. It is everything
I have always deserved.Copy !req
162. But I have turned our
son into a stranger.Copy !req
163. I am moving back into the closet.Copy !req
164. Well, if that's what
you think is best...Copy !req
165. I guess I'll set up Ladybird
in Bobby's room, then.Copy !req
166. Don't let Ladybird...
LB in the room until I'm finished.Copy !req
167. I want it to be a surprise.Copy !req
168. We got some of your mail here.Copy !req
169. Suddenly everybody wants to sell
Bobby Hill a security system.Copy !req
170. So, your mother was
wanting to see you.Copy !req
171. How does dinner on Thursday sound?Copy !req
172. Thursday's poker night.Copy !req
173. The stripper comes over at 9:00.Copy !req
174. I'm just yanking your chain.Copy !req
175. She's over at 8:00.Copy !req
176. Little help?Copy !req
177. Lfl get one more Frisbee,
I'm opening a store.Copy !req
178. Mayor Bridgewater said
a financial feasibility study...Copy !req
179. You gonna hog all of that pillow?Copy !req
180. Bobby, it's covered
with Ladybird's hair.Copy !req
181. Oh, thank God!
I thought I was losing mine.Copy !req
182. You're not sneezing
or hacking up something gross.Copy !req
183. Maybe it's the pills.Copy !req
184. I started taking two of the yellows
with half a red.Copy !req
185. My heart stopped beating funny
and I didn't cry as much at school.Copy !req
186. So, your allergies are under control?Copy !req
187. Yeah. How about that?Copy !req
188. But my dislike for
local news continues.Copy !req
189. I guess that means
you'll be moving back into the house.Copy !req
190. I may be well, but I'm not stupid.Copy !req
191. I am not giving up this doghouse.
You got that?Copy !req
192. Connie, look at me. You got that?Copy !req
193. Say it.Copy !req
194. - I got that.
- Good.Copy !req
195. That would be our toaster pastries.Copy !req
196. I own my own house.Copy !req
197. Hey, everybody, look what
the gun club made for our anniversary.Copy !req
198. After dessert, they're going to fire
15 bullets into our hearts...Copy !req
199. one for every year of conjugal bliss.Copy !req
200. Okay, now, everyone get into
single file for dessert.Copy !req
201. Single file.Copy !req
202. I'm sorry Bobby isn't here.Copy !req
203. I'm sure he would have
loved the desserts.Copy !req
204. Say, what if I give you one to
take home for him in a doggy bag?Copy !req
205. My son does not eat leftovers.Copy !req
206. Oh, that's right.Copy !req
207. Once you get them on the table scraps,
they won't eat their kibble.Copy !req
208. Doghouse.Copy !req
209. Come on, Ladybird, don't make me beg.Copy !req
210. Please, Ladybird, be a good dog.Copy !req
211. It's my fault, Peggy.
I raised her in a real house.Copy !req
212. Well, I have no choice.Copy !req
213. You'll have to walk her
when it's time to go.Copy !req
214. - She won't go in her own yard.
- I'm the same way.Copy !req
215. Yeah, and when you change her water...Copy !req
216. mix in two tablespoons of red wine
for her heart.Copy !req
217. Let's be honest.Copy !req
218. Neither one of us is any good
at saying goodbyes.Copy !req
219. I'll, uh, see you when I see you.Copy !req
220. All right, get yourself washed up.
We don't eat with dirty fingernails.Copy !req
221. You go ahead without me.
I'm just gonna order a pizza.Copy !req
222. - We're having chicken and broccoli.
- Okay.Copy !req
223. You can have some of my pizza
if you want.Copy !req
224. The only pizza you'll be having
is chicken and broccoli pizza...Copy !req
225. without the crust and the pizza sauce.Copy !req
226. But plenty of cheese, because
that's the way your mother makes it.Copy !req
227. Delicious chicken and
broccoli, Mother.Copy !req
228. No! I've been down this road...Copy !req
229. Before!Copy !req
230. Oh, my goodness!
Bobby, honey, are you okay?Copy !req
231. Has Ladybird been in the house?Copy !req
232. - Hank?
- No.Copy !req
233. Well, Bill brought her by the alley.
She gave me her paw. But...Copy !req
234. What am I supposed to do?Copy !req
235. Leave her hanging?
That would have been rude.Copy !req
236. Rude.Copy !req
237. Hank, you could have dragged dander
into this house.Copy !req
238. Don't panic.Copy !req
239. There's no need to send me
back out to the doghouse yet.Copy !req
240. Hello. This is Bobby Hill.Copy !req
241. I'd like to order a large pizza
with everything.Copy !req
242. Ladybird?Copy !req
243. I'm sorry,
but she won't go in her own yard.Copy !req
244. Peggy, it's like I told you, the crawl
space under the house is spotless.Copy !req
245. I shouldn't have cleaned this book first.
It's too engaging. I can't put it down.Copy !req
246. Peggy, there's nothing in here.Copy !req
247. We've already gone
through the house twice.Copy !req
248. Hank, give me a boost.Copy !req
249. I bet those light fixtures
are the perfect dander magnet.Copy !req
250. I can't see it, but I
know it's in there.Copy !req
251. Pack your bags, you flaky bastards!
Dust mop!Copy !req
252. I can't believe I didn't
eat this last night.Copy !req
253. - What are you doing?
- I thought I'd clean up a bit.Copy !req
254. I like it the way it is.
That is why it is the way it is.Copy !req
255. You used to have the best-looking
doghouse in the neighborhood!Copy !req
256. Now I bet it isn't even in the top 10!Copy !req
257. Why don't you move back in?Copy !req
258. Every night your dad has to watch
another man brush his dog.Copy !req
259. Every time Ladybird wags her tail,
your father dies a little.Copy !req
260. It was my dad's idea to move me
in here in the first place...Copy !req
261. so just relax. We got
a good thing going.Copy !req
262. As long as I keep sneezing,
the lady next door can't say boo.Copy !req
263. No pop-ins! Get out of here!Copy !req
264. Out, out!Copy !req
265. Out!Copy !req
266. Bill is gonna get it!Copy !req
267. That's so cute.Copy !req
268. I made that game up.
That's our game. I wanna play.Copy !req
269. Those two look more alike after a week
than you did after 10 years.Copy !req
270. I've never dang old seen that
little dog so happy, man.Copy !req
271. Talking about that little dog's life,
you know, Bill's best friend, man.Copy !req
272. You want a beer, man?Copy !req
273. I don't wanna associate beer
with this kind of pain.Copy !req
274. Bobby, I brought you an air freshener.Copy !req
275. Bobby!
Come on, Bobby Hill!Copy !req
276. Were we robbed?Copy !req
277. They took the carpeting.Copy !req
278. Robbers wouldn't do this good of a job
sanding and triple-varnishing the floors.Copy !req
279. We cleaned this house top to bottom
for you, Bobby.Copy !req
280. It is clean enough
to make computer chips in.Copy !req
281. Don't be afraid to breathe, Bobby.Copy !req
282. It's the only way we can find out
if we got all the dander.Copy !req
283. Damn it.Copy !req
284. I knew we should have
steam-cleaned the ceiling...Copy !req
285. but that guy was so damn smug.Copy !req
286. Boy, the place sure feels empty.Copy !req
287. You know, no carpet, no dog, no son.Copy !req
288. Maybe I'll just go
over to Bill's house.Copy !req
289. Hank, remember what I told the doctor.
You should not even touch Ladybird.Copy !req
290. Okay, Hank, you got five minutes.Copy !req
291. I won't say her name because then
she'll just get all excited...Copy !req
292. and jump up on me. I can't have that.Copy !req
293. No. She's starting to wag.
Dale, quick. Tape her tail to her leg.Copy !req
294. I'm on it.Copy !req
295. Ladybird? No! Get out!Copy !req
296. Dad, look. I'm cured.Copy !req
297. I found a combination of
pills that work. See?Copy !req
298. Hey, girl, welcome home.
You, too, boy.Copy !req
299. Thank you, Dad.Copy !req
300. You're ready?Copy !req
301. All right.Copy !req
302. I have a client in here I am
trying to tutor, so cool it down!Copy !req
303. Okay. Water.Copy !req
304. - Cool.
- Perfect.Copy !req
305. Good boy.Copy !req
306. We all came to see
the opening of a doghouse!Copy !req
307. We all came to see
the opening of a doghouse!Copy !req