Joe Pera Talks With You 3x5

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Joe Pera attempts to find a movie that is appropriate to show in class.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Nothing makes students go wild

2. like when a teacher says,

3. "Today, we will be watching a movie."

4. They go nuts.

5. Yell and stuff.

6. And as an educator,

7. I try not to take it personally

8. because movies are pretty good.

9. Have you seen "Spirited Away"?

10. I know the alternative is learning.

11. But at the same time,

12. I think the students are probably more excited

13. than they should be

14. because classroom movie experiences

15. are only just okay.

16. The school library has a limited selection,

17. and they often end up watching films such as...

18. "Fresh Water Story,"

19. "Julius Caesar Revealed,"

20. "The Great Flying Day,"

21. "Tales by Old Pheasant,"

22. "The Patriot Man,"

23. "Trash Can Cats Go Rom-Pomp-Pomp,"

24. or "The Day After Tomorrow."

25. For the past five years, though,

26. I usually end up showing my favorite,

27. "The Adventures of Otto."

28. I haven't seen a man who looks like that,

29. but if he stole a book from the library

30. I'm down to help you find him.

31. Ha!

32. I could watch this one over and over,

33. but my students have gotten tired of it.

34. Humor changes.

35. Hello.

36. My name is Joe Pera,

37. and though movie days are fun for students,

38. for teachers, they can be as stressful

39. as landing an airplane on a river.

40. This Friday is the last day of school

41. before winter break.

42. And as entertainment curator,

43. I need to pick out something to watch

44. that's both enjoyable for my students.

45. But harmless enough that I won't get in trouble

46. with the school or parents.

47. Near the top of my list of fears

48. is getting bit on the nose by a snake

49. and dying with a swollen honker in the British hospital.

50. But above even that is losing my job.

51. That's why I am spending the day prescreening options.

52. You got to prescreen options.

53. It's something they should have taught a teacher school

54. 'cause last year, I learned my lesson the hard way.

55. Andrea had the most behavior points this spring,

56. so she brought in her favorite film

57. "Wish It Ain't So."

58. Interesting.

59. Hey, you bitches.

60. Please don't tell your parents.

61. Luckily, they didn't.

62. Why would that be the first line of anything?

63. Just wanna reward my students

64. for a good first half of school year

65. by showing them a good first half movie,

66. I signed up to teach choir,

67. but I'm somehow now both a film critic and censurer,

68. trying to figure out

69. can something that avoids violence or swearing

70. ever be considered great art?

71. I don't know.

72. You're probably now thinking.

73. Why not just put on the latest comedy special

74. of the popular ventriloquist.

75. That would put me in danger

76. of getting fired, as well,

77. for showing the students something

78. that could be deemed political.

79. As you and I both know,

80. all ventriloquist are overtly Republican.

81. That's why I got so nervous last month

82. when Gabriel did his lunch performance.

83. Long story, but, basically,

84. we give him the last five minutes

85. of lunch each month

86. to perform for the other students.

87. His decision to not talk through the puppet,

88. but instead re-create the title sequence

89. of "Caddyshack"

90. was, to put it bluntly,

91. a freakin' relief.

92. After, I spoke with Gabriel, and he shared his thoughts

93. on the connection between conservatism and ventriloquism.

94. It was fairly obvious to observe,

95. but I still haven't figured out why.

96. I've got theories, but the nicest of them is,

97. it's a throwback to old times.

98. In fact, ventriloquism can even be traced

99. back to ancient Greece, ancient Egypt,

100. I didn't know that.

101. But make this thing talk?

102. Modern ventriloquism is the oppression of puppets.

103. So right, my man.

104. People are thrilled

105. by the spectacle of a puppet speaking,

106. but only with constant reassurance

107. that it's not actually speaking

108. by always having a hand up its back.

109. It's very...

110. I feel this applies to ventriloquism post-1960,

111. when puppets were liberated by Jim Henson

112. and allowed to exist as autonomous Muppets.

113. Hmm.

114. If Jeff Dunham and Terry Fator fans

115. saw Kermit the Frog riding a bicycle,

116. they would cry blasphemy,

117. then bludgeon it.

118. 'Cause something so free and beautiful

119. should not be allowed to exist.

120. Oh, and Gabriel,

121. how do you know about "Caddyshack"?

122. Oh, it was one of the three videos

123. we had at the Hitobo Research Base.

124. Oh.

125. By the way, if you're wondering

126. if this program has an agenda, it does —

127. to encourage everyone to pick up an instrument.

128. It's not just ventriloquist.

129. If you think about it,

130. other types of entertainment people

131. can also be linked to particular political leanings.

132. Correct me if I'm wrong,

133. but I think that actors, for example,

134. tend liberal,

135. except for, of course, Ronald Reagan.

136. Sports announcers, conservative.

137. Magicians, Libertarian.

138. I was thinking about this when Sarah and I went

139. to the Evelyn Bonnet

140. in Forest Roberts Theatre.

141. You probably know her.

142. She was featured last season on "USA is Gifted."

143. Next.

144. I'm sure you want to wait in on this slide

145. The show is terrific. I want to tell her so.

146. Oh, my God! Yo, Joe!

147. Carlos, wow.

148. I didn't expect to see you.

149. Yeah, man, I'm up here once a month for sales meetings.

150. I just grab a hotel room bar hop for eight or nine hours.

151. Okay.

152. Enough about my rock star life.

153. You going to introduce me to your sister?

154. Actually, Carlos, this is my girlfriend, Sarah.

155. Damn!

156. I thought the grand finale was the last time

157. my jaw would drop tonight.

158. What up, Sarah?

159. It's nice to meet you, Carlos.

160. What happened to your arm?

161. Nothing.

162. Next.

163. Yeah.

164. Weird, but, like, interesting stuff.

165. Thank you for coming to the show.

166. How did you turn that guinea pig into a bowl of pico de gallo?

167. A magician never reveals her secrets.

168. But if you're interested in magic,

169. I have some DVDs for beginners at the merch table.

170. Don't ever try to sell a salesman!

171. Wrong!

172. One at a time.So good.

173. Such a good show. Aww, thank you.

174. Are you a magician, as well?

175. Me? Oh, no.

176. Crowds are not my favorite,

177. and my fingers are bulky from climbing.

178. That's weird because I was picking up

179. some serious magician vibes from you,

180. and I'm usually never wrong about vibes here.

181. Here.

182. Check your pocket.

183. 30% off any of my DVDs at the merch table.

184. We need more women in STEM, and by that,

185. I mean skateboarding, television,

186. e-sports, and magic.

187. Okay. Big smile.

188. Good luck. Thank you.

189. Hi, thanks for coming to the show.

190. It was such a great show. I just had a quick question.

191. I read in a magazine

192. that Penn Jillette is a libertarian,

193. and I was wondering if all magicians

194. are libertarians.

195. I will say this.

196. Magic, in a way, is political freedom.

197. I make my own rules.

198. I'm not even governed by the laws of reality.

199. Cool.

200. Do you believe in magic?

201. Only miracles.

202. Interesting.

203. Is your DVD anything like your show tonight?

204. I kept thinking it'd be the perfect thing

205. for my class to watch.

206. It definitely would be.

207. Okay. Photo time.

208. 3, 2, 1...

209. $30.

210. Well, Bob, from Arizona,

211. have you checked your pockets recently?

212. Is this your driver's license?

213. Everyone give Bob a round of applause.

214. You can go take a seat.

215. So that just happened.

216. I'd like to see God do that.

217. We shouldn't need these things anyways.

218. People should be able to drive at age 12.

219. And what do we say about taxes, Dee Dee?

220. "Uh, that's theft, bitch."

221. I guess we'll be watching "The Adventures of Otto" again.