Joe Pera Talks With You 2x10

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In which Joe and you attempt to write something meaningful.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hello.

2. I'm Joe Pera, and I've been trying to write

3. my grandmother's obituary for a week now.

4. It's tough.

5. How do you condense a loved one's life

6. into four or five sentences for the local newspaper?

7. I started by making a list of things

8. I know are absolutely true.

9. She loved to bake, and she loved the film "Gigi."

10. She liked going for rides,

11. and when visitors stopped by for coffee.

12. And she loved, loved, loved the mother

13. from "Everybody Loves Raymond."

14. I think she was funnier.

15. There's so much more.

16. It's just hard to put on paper what made her special —

17. like the sense of warmth she gave off

18. even when just talking on the phone

19. with the cable company representative

20. about how she couldn't get her remote to work —

21. which reminds me, I consider it one of my biggest failures

22. that I could never teach her to use the DVD player.

23. Believe me, I tried.

24. These things are so small

25. compared to what she meant to me.

26. And even if I could sum her up with a single anecdote,

27. I don't know if I'd want to.

28. I suppose there is something comforting it in that,

29. to get into the "Mining Journal,"

30. you don't have to invent anything or commit an atrocity.

31. You just have to live most of your life

32. in Marquette, Michigan.

33. It's enough.

34. When you're gone, that's news.

35. It's hard to write an obituary in the moment that you have to.

36. With all the arrangements to be made,

37. bank accounts to be closed, and people to call,

38. I've hardly had the time or energy

39. to write what my grandmother deserves.

40. It would have been much easier to compose it in advance.

41. Then again, that would be kind of sick, wouldn't it?

42. I already feel like I let her down

43. with what I brought to the wake 3 days ago.

44. With the exception of the two cinnamon toaster waffles

45. she ate every morning, my nana made everything from scratch.

46. In a similar situation, she would have found the energy

47. to make a kettle of sauce.

48. I didn't do that.

49. Joe, sorry for your loss.

50. Thanks, Georgie.

51. Hey, what a bunch of sandwiches.

52. It looks like, uh, turkey, lettuce, and tomato?

53. Is that white cheese?

54. Yeah. People will like this.

55. This is a nice touch.

56. I'll put it over here on the table for you.

57. Nana had a lot of people who loved her.

58. Mm-hmm.

59. You hungry? There's a lot of stuff.

60. I'm alright. Thanks.

61. Hi, Sue.

62. Was your grandma 100 when she died?

63. No. She was 93.

64. That's still a really long time.

65. That's true.

66. Thanks, Kelsey.

67. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Joe.

68. Thanks, Sue.

69. Thanks Nicole, Josh.

70. Hi, sweetie. I'm so sorry.

71. We're all gonna miss nana so much.

72. Thanks, Carole.

73. I've been meaning to call.

74. I'm still working on the obituary,

75. and I was wondering

76. if there's anything you think I should include.

77. Did she ever tell you about our late-night doughnut runs?

78. No. How late?

79. Eleven o'clock.

80. Really?

81. I thought she was always in bed by 10 o'clock.

82. What kind would she get?

83. Coconut.

84. Take care.

85. What Carole said reminded me that there's so many things

86. I didn't know about my grandmother.

87. She had a hard life early on,

88. and there was a lot she didn't tell me.

89. She also tucked away a lot of worry.

90. But when we were together, things were straightforward.

91. Was life really that complicated?

92. When you spend time with your grandmother,

93. watching "Dancing With the Stars,"

94. you realize it doesn't have to be.

95. And during the third commercial break,

96. you get big bowls of cookie-dough ice cream,

97. and you bring them back into the living room,

98. with dish towels on your laps, so you don't spill it on you.

99. Sarah?

100. I'm really trying to focus.

101. I'm sorry, I just — I don't want it to go bad.

102. It's lots of mayonnaise, and it's been out

103. 11 hours, so...

104. Okay.

105. Stay. I'll — I'll get it.

106. Hey!

107. One, two, three, four cup man.

108. How many cups do you need?

109. Look at you! Look at that!

110. Uh, sorry I couldn't be at the wake.

111. Um, I had to hold down the fort at the garage.

112. Hey, what's this? I know this bowl.

113. It's Sue's chicken salad, huh?

114. Yeah. Have some. Have you ever had this stuff?

115. It's absolutely phenomenal.

116. Oh, my God.

117. Mmm.

118. How's it going with Sue?

119. Mm...

120. I don't know.

121. Would you like to take the chicken salad home with you?

122. Nah. I can't.

123. We've got more than enough stuff.

124. Alright. Yeah, sure, I'll...

125. Thanks.

126. Yeah.

127. Look, I just wanted to stop by and let you know,

128. if there's anything you need,

129. I can help you. And I'm really sorry.

130. Thanks, Mike.

131. Have a nice time with Mike?

132. Mm-hmm.

133. Hey, come on.

134. Let's go outside.

135. I'm Sarah Conner, and, uh, let's —

136. let's talk about edible and non-edible plants.

137. So, um, take, um, lawn grass.

138. It contains a high level of silica,

139. which, uh, definitely, um, eats away at tooth enamel.

140. Uh, still, I'd take it over kale.

141. Um...

142. rhododendron, here, while being the beauty queen

143. of the garden, uh, is highly deadly.

144. Ingest any part of this plant, and it could result in, uh,

145. drooling, violent vomiting, seizures,

146. and eventually a slowing of the pulse.

147. You know, uh, if you remember nothing else,

148. memorize the following is not to eat —

149. jimsonweed, hemlock, nightshade, acorn, hollyberries,

150. mistletoe, yewberry, daffodil.

151. Uh, any of those, you want to stay away from,

152. because they could result in sudden death.

153. Um... - Sarah.

154. You can come back inside.

155. I think I finished.

156. Good. That's good.

157. I'm proud of you.

158. Steven Sawyer? - Hey, Joe.

159. May I come in? - Of course.

160. Please, um, can — can —

161. can I get you a cup of coffee or anything?

162. Uh, no. I'm good. Thanks.

163. Steven Sawyer, editor of the "Mining Journal," in my house.

164. I, uh, wanted to stop by because, um, Joe,

165. I wasn't able to publish your whole obituary.

166. To run it, we would have had to cut sports,

167. weather, and world news.

168. I understand.

169. It was really good, though.

170. I can tell your grammy had a really full life.

171. I hope you don't mind, but I edited it down

172. to the typical length of an obituary,

173. and we ran it, and I wanted to show it to you.

174. "Marquette, Michigan. Francis 'Nana' Pera

175. passed August 5th, 2018, Marquette County Hospital

176. surrounded by close friends.

177. A lifelong resident,

178. she was an active member of the Catholic church.

179. Married to Joseph Pera Senior on May 18th, 1950,

180. she is survived by her grandson, Joe.

181. She loved doughnuts."

182. This is nice.

183. And everyone knows there's more to her than this.

184. This is for high school classmates and neighbors,

185. so they don't, you know, send Christmas cards.

186. Right.

187. Well, I'll leave you alone.

188. I wanted to say, again, what you wrote was really thorough,

189. and I'm sure her friends and loved one

190. would want to read it if you shared it with them.

191. I will. Alright.

192. Hi, Joe.

193. I found this in the back of your fridge —

194. Nana's meatballs.

195. Eat them before they expire.

196. Love, Sarah.