1. Although I'm up
at 2:00 a.m. on a school night,
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2. I was glad to be woken
by the night thunder,
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3. because, to me,
watching snow and rain
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4. is a special event.
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5. My favorite part of this
past year's Super Bowl was when,
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6. with 7:35 left
in the third quarter,
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7. I looked outside my window
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8. and see the gently falling snow.
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9. And as it landed
on the quiet, empty street,
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10. I said to myself,
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11. "Touchdown."
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12. Hello. My name is Joe Pera,
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13. and did the thunder
wake you, too,
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14. or was it something else?
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15. Perhaps you're nervous
about starting something new,
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16. a new job, a new baby,
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17. a new pair of dress shoes you're
stressed about breaking in.
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18. Maybe you're waiting
for the cast list to go up,
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19. or perhaps your debut album
is coming out tomorrow,
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20. and you're worried
that people will say
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21. you're ripping off
Bruce Springsteen.
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22. Well, you're nothing
like Bruce Springsteen.
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23. You're not from New Jersey.
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24. You're from Delaware.
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25. You make dubstep.
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26. Your hair's been
thinning for years.
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27. You're 5'1" tall.
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28. You have no teeth.
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29. You're all gums.
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30. Your microphone is just
an old vacuum cleaner.
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31. You perform
on your hands and knees,
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32. and you sing about Fashion Week.
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33. I don't know.
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34. Sorry.
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35. I could go for
some wafers and milk,
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36. but it would be a shame
to get up
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37. and miss a good lightning.
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38. Rain rapping on windows
has got to be
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39. the number four
most soothing sound.
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40. Milk being poured into
a glass is close behind.
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41. Whole milk is
especially soothing,
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42. but then again,
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43. most liquid pours are.
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44. Watching liquids flow
from a large container
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45. to a small container
is a delight.
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46. Don't talk to me until
I've had my morning coffee.
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47. Just kidding.
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48. I'm happy to talk anytime.
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49. It's Ladies' Night.
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50. This one's for the guys.
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51. This is Clinton Moy.
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52. He pours professionally
for commercials and television.
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53. - Hi, Joe.
- Hey, Clinton.
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54. Do you ever have
trouble sleeping?
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55. - No.
- Oh.
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56. Will you share
your secret with us?
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57. How do you stay so relaxed?
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58. Dominoes.
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59. I don't like this.
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60. I'm sorry, and please
don't tell Clinton,
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61. but I don't like dominoes.
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62. Exhilarating as it is
to set them up,
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63. once they are falling,
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64. you're watching potential
disappear before your eyes.
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65. No matter how hard you wish, the
last domino is not getting up.
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66. Sorry to get down on dominoes,
but it's one of my core beliefs
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67. that you shouldn't waste
kinetic energy.
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68. Here. If you're still awake,
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69. I've got something special
to show you.
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70. This is my sheet
music collection.
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71. Before 1920, when radios
were still uncommon,
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72. you purchased paper versions
of the latest tunes
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73. for your home piano.
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74. It's hardly the way
the music industry works today,
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75. but there's something
about the old paper smell
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76. that helps me relax.
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77. The cover art is great, too.
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78. I love this piece,
because the composer
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79. looks like a little
hamburger boy.
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80. Sorry to tease.
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81. Sometimes, a song perfectly
articulates a question
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82. that's been on your mind
your whole life.
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83. Imagine not having a radio
and depending on your father
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84. to interpret all
popular music for you.
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85. You might think this
if you saw my school photos...
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86. but it's just me.
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87. I can't keep my eyes open,
no matter how hard I try.
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88. And this year, I tried.
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89. Three, two, one.
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90. Sorry.
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91. Can we please do one more?
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92. Okay.
All right.
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93. Three, two, one.
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94. - Did we get it?
- Great.
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95. We got it.
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96. - Okay.
- Okay. Come on, hon.
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97. Sit right up there.
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98. You're a star.
Okay.
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99. Three, two, one.
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100. It's okay.
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101. I'm not too worried
about my photographic legacy.
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102. In fact, I hope
I'm not remembered at all
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103. and that, one day,
I can just disappear.
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104. Oh. Are those French horns?
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105. One of the nicest parts
about teaching music
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106. is that you can literally
hear the students learning.
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107. And when that happens,
it takes your breath away.
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108. Gus has got a built-in
sleep mask.
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109. Sorry, bud.
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110. But you don't have to be
a music teacher
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111. to have your breath taken away.
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112. There's a lot of nice stuff
that can do that,
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113. like a really good lightning...
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114. great water pressure...
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115. when you almost die,
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116. but then you survive...
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117. the flavor of a pineapple...
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118. when the hotel hot tub
isn't filled with teenagers,
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119. so that you can relax
your neck muscles
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120. after a long day
of looking up at the air show.
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121. The Blue Angels
were extraordinary
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122. in their F/A-18 Super Hornets,
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123. but these jets are even better.
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124. Also, you don't travel much,
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125. so staying at the hotel
is an exciting thing.
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126. When you go back to your room,
you can watch a movie
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127. that's not even out on DVD yet.
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128. DVDs, will they even
exist in two years?
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129. Hard to tell,
but the fact is that,
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130. at some point,
most stuff becomes obsolete.
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131. Textile mills were once
powered by water wheels.
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132. Now they are powered
by a hydroelectric dam,
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133. but it's good, 'cause
there's more cloth now
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134. than there ever was.
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135. Just think.
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136. There are 95 million metric
tons of textile fibers
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137. now produced around
the world annually.
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138. That should take
your breath away.
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139. Also,
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140. when the ceiling
at your favorite bar
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141. is a football field.
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142. Or when you open a box and your
grief counselor is inside...
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143. or the size and depth
of Lake Superior...
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144. or the moments it feels like
your students do like you,
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145. 'cause they take the time
to explain a new slang.
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146. And when you've caught your
breath, I hope you'll doze off,
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147. and that tomorrow,
your crush becomes your bae.
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148. Good night.
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