1. You're not thinking about
going to work today, are you?Copy !req
2. Thought I would. That inhaler
really seems to be doing the trick.Copy !req
3. What?
Just take the rest of the week.Copy !req
4. Please. You've earned it.Copy !req
5. Don't push it.Copy !req
6. Besides, I want you well
for the weekend.Copy !req
7. Mom wants to party.Copy !req
8. It's just a little get-together,
that's all.Copy !req
9. Sunday afternoon, maybe?
You know, nothing too big.Copy !req
10. Just family
and a few friends.Copy !req
11. We've got a lot to celebrate.
Don't you think?Copy !req
12. Sounds good.Copy !req
13. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
14. Now,Copy !req
15. what are you supposed
to do today?Copy !req
16. Nothing.
Excellent.Copy !req
17. Brownie points
for taking a nap.Copy !req
18. Can you meet?Copy !req
19. I thought maybe you
might have, you know,Copy !req
20. kicked.Copy !req
21. Signed—
Signed off.Copy !req
22. I was even checking
the obits.Copy !req
23. No such luck.Copy !req
24. So, um,
where does it stand?Copy !req
25. Coughing up blood, giving
speeches, you know, like:Copy !req
26. "I deserve this.
I'm an asshole."Copy !req
27. What's the upshot?Copy !req
28. The upshot.Copy !req
29. The upshot is that I have
radiation pneumonitis.Copy !req
30. Damn.Copy !req
31. Actually, it's not
as bad as it sounds.Copy !req
32. It's a fairly common
occurrence, easily treated.Copy !req
33. In fact,Copy !req
34. the news is all good.Copy !req
35. What do you mean,
good?Copy !req
36. You mean, like,
"good'good?Copy !req
37. What, you mean, like,
remission good?Copy !req
38. Remission. Not to imply I'm cured.
I still have cancer.Copy !req
39. But there's been a significant
reduction in the tumors.Copy !req
40. How significant?Copy !req
41. Eighty percent.Copy !req
42. Dude. No way.Copy !req
43. Now, I'm not out of the woods
yet, not by any stretch,Copy !req
44. but "options" is the word
they keep bandying about.Copy !req
45. That's awesome.
Serious?Copy !req
46. That's—
That's great, man.Copy !req
47. I mean, my aunt, she never—
I mean, you know, at your stage,Copy !req
48. I didn't think that could happen.Copy !req
49. Yeah.Copy !req
50. Mr. White,
you kicked its ass, yo!Copy !req
51. No. You must be so psyched.Copy !req
52. Of course. I am.Copy !req
53. Okay, now we...Copy !req
54. I mean, what do we...?Copy !req
55. Oh, hey, I almost forgot.Copy !req
56. So how do you want to,Copy !req
57. you know, proceedCopy !req
58. in light of this
kick-ass news?Copy !req
59. We'll take our time
and stay cautious.Copy !req
60. Sell off what we have.Copy !req
61. And then, uh...Copy !req
62. Well, then I guessCopy !req
63. I'm done.Copy !req
64. Batter up.
Um, everyone?Copy !req
65. Hey, you guys.
I would like to make a toastCopy !req
66. with my non-alcoholic beverage.
Somebody kill the music.Copy !req
67. I know one party
can't begin to repayCopy !req
68. all your support and
your many, many kindnesses.Copy !req
69. But then again,Copy !req
70. Hank does make
one mean margarita.Copy !req
71. We really do want
to thank you.Copy !req
72. These last few months
have been...Copy !req
73. wow, a challenging time,
to put it mildly.Copy !req
74. But I have to say Walt's come
through it like a champ.Copy !req
75. All right.
Honey, I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
76. We all are.Copy !req
77. Oh.Copy !req
78. Okay, I'm gonna stop with
the sappy stuff. I am.Copy !req
79. But it's true. It really is.Copy !req
80. And for the first time
in a long time,Copy !req
81. we are so excited about the future.Copy !req
82. Okay, anyway, um, I—Copy !req
83. Ooh, I want to also
express my gratitudeCopy !req
84. to two very special people
who couldn't be here today.Copy !req
85. But they send their regrets
and their warm wishes.Copy !req
86. Gretchen and
Elliott Schwartz,Copy !req
87. for those of you
who don't know them, are...Copy !req
88. well, they're heroes.Copy !req
89. They are incredibly generous
friends who made the amazing offerCopy !req
90. to pay for Walt's treatment.Copy !req
91. And they did.Copy !req
92. So...Copy !req
93. to Gretchen and Elliott.Copy !req
94. To Gretchen and Elliot.
Cheers.Copy !req
95. Hey, how about the man of the hour?
Come on.Copy !req
96. Speech.
Ye&Copy !req
97. Speech.
WALT JR.: Yeah, Dad.Copy !req
98. Come on, Walt. Speech.
Um...Copy !req
99. Ahem. Well, it's...Copy !req
100. It's kind of funny.Copy !req
101. When I got my diagnosis,
cancerCopy !req
102. I said to myself,
you know:Copy !req
103. "Why me?"Copy !req
104. And then,Copy !req
105. the other day,
when I got the good news,Copy !req
106. I said the same thing.Copy !req
107. Ha.Copy !req
108. anyway-Copy !req
109. Uh... Thank you for coming.Copy !req
110. And enjoyCopy !req
111. All right, cheers.
Yeah.Copy !req
112. Cheers.
Wow.Copy !req
113. Inspirational.Copy !req
114. Tell you what.Copy !req
115. I gotta give those bastards
points for originality.Copy !req
116. I'll tell you that much.Copy !req
117. A little mercury switch,
9-volt battery,Copy !req
118. five or six ounces of C-4, that's
how those cartel boys party.Copy !req
119. Yeah, but why a turtle?Copy !req
120. Oh, that's the best part.
It was a, uh...Copy !req
121. It was a... What the hell's
the word I'm looking for?Copy !req
122. Not a metaphor, not
an analogy, it's a...Copy !req
123. Walt, what's the word
I'm looking for?Copy !req
124. Anyway,Copy !req
125. Tortuga. Okay?
That was the name of our snitch.Copy !req
126. Bean-speak
for tortoise. Okay?Copy !req
127. Tortoise, turtle,
what have you.Copy !req
128. I never knew the
difference myself.Copy !req
129. Hey, top me off there,
will you, buddy?Copy !req
130. anyway-Copy !req
131. Poetic.Copy !req
132. I guess, yeah. Poetic.
It was poetic That's the word.Copy !req
133. I guess that's the word.Copy !req
134. Go ahead.Copy !req
135. Better not
let your mom see.Copy !req
136. Oh, yeah, I think I see a hair.
Maybe two.Copy !req
137. There's no worm
in this, right?Copy !req
138. No, that would be
mescal.Copy !req
139. Talk about your hangovers, okay?
Ooh.Copy !req
140. I was down in
Glynco, Georgia.Copy !req
141. I was back east,
doing some training.Copy !req
142. Had this firearm instructor
who was...Copy !req
143. He was a good old boy, you know?
Hey. There you go. Thanks.Copy !req
144. I mean, this guy could put them
away like he had two livers, okay?Copy !req
145. Like a fish, okay?
Like a drunk fish.Copy !req
146. We were drinking
mescal stupid.Copy !req
147. But— Hey, hey.Copy !req
148. Walt,
what you doing there?Copy !req
149. What does it look like
I'm doing?Copy !req
150. The kid's 16.Copy !req
151. What are you going for,
Father of the Year?Copy !req
152. What are you looking at him for?Copy !req
153. Hm?Copy !req
154. We're celebrating. Come on.Copy !req
155. That's all right.Copy !req
156. No.Copy !req
157. Jesus.Copy !req
158. Listen, I'd take a pass on
that one if I were you, okay?Copy !req
159. Think we've been bogarting
this puppy long enough.Copy !req
160. Heh,heh, heh.
Hey.Copy !req
161. Bring the bottle back.Copy !req
162. Sorry, buddy. No can do.Copy !req
163. It's my son.
My bottle. My house.Copy !req
164. Heh, heh. It's all right.
What are you waiting for?Copy !req
165. Bring it back.Copy !req
166. Why don't we just call it a day?Copy !req
167. All right, pal?Copy !req
168. We good?
The bottle.Copy !req
169. Now.Copy !req
170. What's going on?Copy !req
171. Jesus.Copy !req
172. Here, sweetie.
Okay. Okay.Copy !req
173. Oh, my God.Copy !req
174. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
175. There you go.Copy !req
176. Okay. That's it.Copy !req
177. Just get it out. That's okay.Copy !req
178. This is your brain.Copy !req
179. This is your brain on drugs.Copy !req
180. Wow.Copy !req
181. Uh...Copy !req
182. You weren't supposed to
wake up.Copy !req
183. Ever or...?Copy !req
184. Heh, heh. No, I was just thinking
that I'd bring it, you know, in.Copy !req
185. You want me to go
back to bed?Copy !req
186. No, I guess
that'd be kind of—Copy !req
187. Uh, no.Copy !req
188. Need some help?Copy !req
189. No, I got it.
Ow. Ow. Ow.Copy !req
190. Just have a seat.Copy !req
191. ls there any coffee?Copy !req
192. Yeah, shit.
One second.Copy !req
193. Well, at least
let me do that.Copy !req
194. No, I don't want you to have
to do anything, you know?Copy !req
195. All right. Here.
You take the good one.Copy !req
196. It's huevos rancheros.Copy !req
197. I can tell.
Yeah?Copy !req
198. Um...Copy !req
199. Fork.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
200. Aha. There you go.Copy !req
201. So, what are you up to today?
Working?Copy !req
202. Whatever that means.
No.Copy !req
203. I'm all yours.Copy !req
204. Really?Copy !req
205. Hey, this is Skyler.
Please leave me a message. Thanks.Copy !req
206. Hi.Copy !req
207. I just wanted to say that...Copy !req
208. No.Copy !req
209. We'll talk tonight,Copy !req
210. but I wanted to say thatCopy !req
211. I'm not exactly sure
who that was yesterday,Copy !req
212. but it wasn't me.Copy !req
213. And I'm sorry.Copy !req
214. Love you.Copy !req
215. Oh, boy.Copy !req
216. I just wanted to say that...Copy !req
217. No.Copy !req
218. We'll talk tonight,
but I wanted to say that...Copy !req
219. Hey there.Copy !req
220. Wow, who brought the churros?
That would be me.Copy !req
221. If I leave them at home, I'll just
wind up eating them all myself, so...Copy !req
222. They're actually- They're leftovers.
We had a little get-together for Walt.Copy !req
223. It wasn't his birthday,
was it'?Copy !req
224. Actually,Copy !req
225. Walt's got...Copy !req
226. He's been battling cancer.Copy !req
227. Oh, Skyler—Copy !req
228. And last week
we got good news.Copy !req
229. I'm so sorry.
But we're really optimistic.Copy !req
230. Great.Copy !req
231. Great. Good news is great.
Yeah.Copy !req
232. Yeah, it is. It really is.Copy !req
233. Well, um,Copy !req
234. feel free to bring these
any time. Heh, heh, heh.Copy !req
235. Yeah. Heh, heh.Copy !req
236. Got some real beauts.Copy !req
237. You cannot beat the thermal
efficiency of the C3.Copy !req
238. Yeah?Copy !req
239. Then again,
what about tankless?Copy !req
240. Sure. We got them.Copy !req
241. I mean, the good ones will
really run up your price though.Copy !req
242. Set you back about 1200.Copy !req
243. It's not an issue.Copy !req
244. You want installation, right?Copy !req
245. No. I'm gonna do it myself.
That's what I like to hear.Copy !req
246. And who's this?
This guy can surf without a board?Copy !req
247. That's Hover Man.Copy !req
248. He can surf, skate, glide,Copy !req
249. whatever, because he's always got a
6-inch cushion of air under his feet.Copy !req
250. That's cool.
Great lines.Copy !req
251. And this guy?
What's his superpower?Copy !req
252. That's Kanga-man.Copy !req
253. Kanga-man?
Half-man, half-kangaroo?Copy !req
254. And who's this in his pouch?
His sidekick, Joey.Copy !req
255. He rides around in his
pouch and, you know,Copy !req
256. fights crime.Copy !req
257. So that makes
Kanga-man a she.Copy !req
258. You know that, right?Copy !req
259. Only female kangaroos
have pouches.Copy !req
260. Yeah, yeah, I know.Copy !req
261. But, you know,
it's definitely a dude.Copy !req
262. He's a product
of experimentation.Copy !req
263. He's kind of hot, I guess.
Nice haunches.Copy !req
264. And this is?
It's Backwardo.Copy !req
265. Wait, no. I actually—
I changed it to Rewindo.Copy !req
266. Anyways, he goes backwards.Copy !req
267. He can make everything
go in reverse.Copy !req
268. Time and stuff?
Like time traveling?Copy !req
269. No, he just, um...
he just walks backwardsCopy !req
270. He walks backwards?Copy !req
271. Is that a superpower?
What good is that?Copy !req
272. No, I mean, he does it,
like, really fast.Copy !req
273. You know? Okay, look, say someone's
coming at him with a knife, right?Copy !req
274. I mean, it's helpful.Copy !req
275. Then he can just zip
backwards away from them.Copy !req
276. Okay.Copy !req
277. Yo, I was a kidCopy !req
278. when I drew all these.Copy !req
279. It was like four years ago.Copy !req
280. They all look like you.
What?Copy !req
281. It's you in all of these.Copy !req
282. No.Copy !req
283. I wonder what a shrink
would say if he saw them.Copy !req
284. Oh, shut up.Copy !req
285. Like you never wanted
a superpower.Copy !req
286. Is that your door or mine?
I don't know.Copy !req
287. It sounds like mine.Copy !req
288. I gotta go.
Where?Copy !req
289. Hey, where?Copy !req
290. Hey, hold up.
Where are you...?Copy !req
291. Jane.Copy !req
292. Jane.Copy !req
293. Hey, Dad.
Ah, there you are.Copy !req
294. Hi, honey.Copy !req
295. I saw your car, so I was
pretty sure you were home.Copy !req
296. Yeah, sorry. I was working.
I had my headphones on.Copy !req
297. Finally realized that
I wasn't the drum track?Copy !req
298. Exactly.
Well, I was in the neighborhood.Copy !req
299. Was wondering if you wanted
to grab some lunch.Copy !req
300. Sure. Yeah.Copy !req
301. Hey, uh, this your dad?Copy !req
302. Yes.
Hello.Copy !req
303. Hi.Copy !req
304. This is the new tenant.Copy !req
305. Donald.
Jesse.Copy !req
306. I'm sorry.
Did you need something?Copy !req
307. Uh...Copy !req
308. No.
Dad, why don't you come in?Copy !req
309. It was nice seeing you.Copy !req
310. It was nice to meet you.
You too.Copy !req
311. WALT JR.:
Hey, Dad.Copy !req
312. Oh. Hey, son. Heh.
Are you home early?Copy !req
313. No.Copy !req
314. Oh, man.Copy !req
315. It was a good day?Copy !req
316. Now it is. Finally, hot water.
No more toxic waste.Copy !req
317. Yes. Yes, indeed.Copy !req
318. Top of the line, on
demand, unlimited supply.Copy !req
319. Sweet.
Yeah.Copy !req
320. Hey, want to take her for a spin?
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
321. Heh, heh. All right.
Listen, why don't you go to the kitchen sink?Copy !req
322. Let me know when you're ready,
and I'll give you a holler.Copy !req
323. Okay.Copy !req
324. Pilot in.Copy !req
325. Ignition. Bingo.Copy !req
326. Okay.Copy !req
327. WALT JR.: Ready.
All right. Let her rip.Copy !req
328. Ah.Copy !req
329. Hundred and seventeen
thousand BTUs.Copy !req
330. Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
331. Built-in corrosion-resistant
draft reducer,Copy !req
332. safety thermocouple
with the pilot burner.Copy !req
333. Sounds really good,
Dad.Copy !req
334. And the energy savings.
I mean...Copy !req
335. Aah.
Oh, oh. Oh, careful, careful, careful.Copy !req
336. There's probably some adjustments
I need to make there. You okay?Copy !req
337. Yeah, I'm— I'm fine.
Okay.Copy !req
338. Son,Copy !req
339. about yesterday—
I'm sorry about the pool.Copy !req
340. No,no, no, that was not your fault.
Not at all.Copy !req
341. See, yourCopy !req
342. Your old man
embarrassed himself,Copy !req
343. and I'm not very proud
of my behavior.Copy !req
344. I have to say
I feel very foolish.Copy !req
345. Um, you and Uncle Hank,
you seemed pissed off.Copy !req
346. No. No. We're fine.
Everything's fine.Copy !req
347. I called him this morning
and made my apologies.Copy !req
348. But, son, I owe you
an apology most of all.Copy !req
349. I should have used
better judgment all around.Copy !req
350. Having you drink in the first
place, it was not right,Copy !req
351. and for that I'm very sorry.Copy !req
352. But I kept up, right?Copy !req
353. You and Uncle Hank.
I drank three.Copy !req
354. I have some tools to put away.Copy !req
355. Hey.Copy !req
356. Uh, yo.Copy !req
357. You want to
catch a movie later?Copy !req
358. Yo.Copy !req
359. What?Copy !req
360. What was that
all about?Copy !req
361. What?Copy !req
362. Before.
With your dad.Copy !req
363. It wasn't about
anything.Copy !req
364. Oh, okay, so I totally
just misread your total dis?Copy !req
365. If anything, I was
doing you a favor.Copy !req
366. A favor?Copy !req
367. Yeah, I told you.
He's a hard-ass.Copy !req
368. He seemed cool to me.
Yeah, well.Copy !req
369. So, what's the deal?
There's no deal.Copy !req
370. I was helping you out,
okay? Protecting you.Copy !req
371. How's that?
I mean,Copy !req
372. I'm letting you smoke
in here and everything.Copy !req
373. I bought a filter.Copy !req
374. And I figured the less
he knows, the better.Copy !req
375. You acted like
you didn't even know me.Copy !req
376. $0?Copy !req
377. So?
You think I'm gonna be all like:Copy !req
378. "Hey, Dad, meet the stoner
guy who lives next door.Copy !req
379. And by the way,
I'm sleeping with him"?Copy !req
380. That's all you think
you're doing?Copy !req
381. Why do you even care
about my dad?Copy !req
382. I don't.Copy !req
383. Good. Then I don't know why
we're talking about it.Copy !req
384. Us. All right?
I'm talking about us.Copy !req
385. Us.
Yeah.Copy !req
386. You and me.Copy !req
387. Who's you and me?Copy !req
388. I'm out of here.Copy !req
389. Oh, boy.Copy !req
390. Dad?Copy !req
391. Dad? Hello?Copy !req
392. What? Oh, hey.Copy !req
393. What are you doing?
We've got rot.Copy !req
394. Rot?
Yeah. Here.Copy !req
395. I'll show you. Here.Copy !req
396. Take a look at that.Copy !req
397. See that? Yeah.
Ever seen anything like it'?Copy !req
398. It's wood.
It's woodCopy !req
399. that contains fruiting bodies.Copy !req
400. Fruity what?Copy !req
401. Fungus.
And it is on a rampage.Copy !req
402. I don't really see anything.Copy !req
403. Yeah, well, it's there.
You just have to know where to look. Here.Copy !req
404. Then you cut it all out.Copy !req
405. You just cut it out
and start fresh.Copy !req
406. Well, better get to it.Copy !req
407. Is the whole house
gonna collapse or something?Copy !req
408. Not if I can help it.Copy !req
409. Hey. You bucking
for a promotion?Copy !req
410. Go home already.
I will. I will.Copy !req
411. Hey, can I just ask...Copy !req
412. the Keller account?
The Keller account?Copy !req
413. It's listed as a current asset
on this balance sheet,Copy !req
414. but the invoice was never presented
to accounts receivable, so...Copy !req
415. Oh, God.Copy !req
416. One of these days I'm gonna just
sort through all the Dad stuff.Copy !req
417. He had so many "Don't worry about
it, pay me Friday" relationshipsCopy !req
418. with these little companies.Copy !req
419. We'll figure it out tomorrow.
Or not. Heh, heh.Copy !req
420. Right. Ahem.Copy !req
421. Seriously, you're not gonna
make me look you in, are you?Copy !req
422. Sky?Copy !req
423. Skyler?Copy !req
424. Jesus.Copy !req
425. No, I'm fine.Copy !req
426. It's hormones. Honestly.
It happens all the time.Copy !req
427. I'll see you tomorrow.Copy !req
428. What's wrong?Copy !req
429. I guess it just...Copy !req
430. doesn't feel any different.Copy !req
431. The, uh, good news?Copy !req
432. I mean,
nothing's really changed.Copy !req
433. It's just postponed.Copy !req
434. There was supposed to be a light
at the end of the tunnel.Copy !req
435. Um...Copy !req
436. But lately, it just feels like...Copy !req
437. More tunnel.Copy !req
438. I'm sorry.Copy !req
439. I just feel so damn ungrateful.Copy !req
440. I don't know.Copy !req
441. For me, it was the flu.Copy !req
442. What?
My dad rallied at the end.Copy !req
443. I mean, it wasn't the
full-on good news Walt got,Copy !req
444. different circumstances,
but we were happy,Copy !req
445. we were over the moon.Copy !req
446. And right then, I got sick.Copy !req
447. Flu. Boom.
Knocked me on my ass for days.Copy !req
448. Couldn't get out of bed,
I couldn't move.Copy !req
449. Great timing, huh?
Yeah.Copy !req
450. And I wasn't even putting two and two together.
I was just thinking:Copy !req
451. Why now?Copy !req
452. Being that rock.Copy !req
453. You know,Copy !req
454. being that rock
takes everything you got.Copy !req
455. Yeah.Copy !req
456. —causing the
housing prices to trend.Copy !req
457. Foreclosures are being fueled
by a spike in...Copy !req
458. The economy is rapidly deteriorating
and unemployment is climbing.Copy !req
459. With Americans losing money over
rising inflation and tight spending,Copy !req
460. the housing market
is unlikely to rebound,Copy !req
461. spelling more pain
for the economy.Copy !req
462. Oh. Yeah.Copy !req
463. Mm.Copy !req
464. Are you going
to work today?Copy !req
465. Skyler, there's rot.Copy !req
466. I'm going back.Copy !req
467. All right. We'll take care of
that tomorrow. Okay, good night.Copy !req
468. Good night, Ted.
Good night.Copy !req
469. Oh, damn.Copy !req
470. Clumsy.
I got it.Copy !req
471. No,no, Ted.
You don't have to do that.Copy !req
472. Get organized.
Storage containers to meet every need,Copy !req
473. big or small, on Aisle 3.Copy !req
474. Stashing your stuff
has never been so easy.Copy !req
475. Get a thicker,
fuller lawn in less than six weeks.Copy !req
476. Why can't the grass
always be greener on your side?Copy !req
477. Go to Aisle 10 to go green.Copy !req
478. Get a manager on
Checkout 4, please.Copy !req
479. Manager to Checkout 4.Copy !req
480. Pest problems? No problem.Copy !req
481. Your extermination destination
is Aisle 6.Copy !req
482. You're buying
the wrong matches.Copy !req
483. What?
Those matches.Copy !req
484. They're
the wrong kind.Copy !req
485. Red phosphorous is found
in the striker strips,Copy !req
486. not the matches themselves.Copy !req
487. You need to get the big 200-count
box of individual matchbooks.Copy !req
488. More striker strips.
You understand?Copy !req
489. Those only have the one.Copy !req
490. And don't buy everything
in one place.Copy !req
491. Do it piecemeal.Copy !req
492. Different items, different stores.
Attracts less attention.Copy !req
493. Are you following me here?Copy !req
494. You've been putting
off refinishing that deck long enough.Copy !req
495. We have everything you need
to do the job right.Copy !req
496. Ha.Copy !req
497. Thanks.
Sure.Copy !req
498. Next.
Hi. Here you go.Copy !req
499. You didn't buy my stuff?
No, I didn't.Copy !req
500. We don't have time for this.Copy !req
501. Hey, there he is.
That's the guy.Copy !req
502. Stay out of my territory.Copy !req